This is the Message Centre for Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1041

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

Those puns are tomb much.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1042

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

When a new "blonde" secretary was hired in an accountancy firm, she was asked by a supervisor why her P.C. log-in password was so long ?
CaptainAmericaThorIronmanDeadpoolBatmanSupermanBlackPantherSpidermanBerlin

She replied! It said "the password must be at least 8 characters and include at least 1 capital"


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1043

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

Pliny.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1044

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

Q: What do you call storm-troopers playing Monopoly?
A: Game of Clones

Q: What does Kylo Ren serve at a dinner party?
A: First hors d'oeuvres.

Q: Where does a Cyberman leave his spaceship?
A: At a parking meteor

Q: What does a Sontaran take on holiday?
A: Sun-taran lotion



Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1045

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

What do you serve to a super hero?

Shaspam


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1046

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Where does a superhero smiley - fish live ?

smiley - ermcape cod! smiley - groan


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1047

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

Probably in a fin-de-siecle house.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1048

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

A bloke goes into his local pub and asks the landlord George, to "pull" him a double whisky!
Saying he's just had a almighty argument with his wife.
George asks What! Another fight ? how'd did this one go ?
The man replies, this one was a biggie, full bore ranting and raving.
George asks again! How did it go then ?
Oh! She came back to me, crawling on all fours!
George said - that's strange ? she's never done that before in an argument ? what did she say ?

GET out from under the bed, you snivelling little coward!


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1049

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

How many politicians does it take to change a light-bulb?
'The Government is well aware of the situation and we are setting up a committee to look into the feasibility of changing it.'
How many members of the government does it take to change a light bulb.
Members of the government never change light bulbs, they prefer to keep the public in the dark.
How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Six - one to do all the work and five to write a song about how good the old one was.
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1050

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

Moving around the U.S., one sees the following:

Someone devised a way of Wheeling West Virginia.

An eminent breeder of race horses found a way to Gallup New Mexico.

Texas is so hot, you need oven mitts if you want to touch the panhandle.

A farmer in Springfield grows mattress coils.

Louisiana is a state famous for parades. A majorette precedes the parade, twirling a Baton Rouge.





Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1051

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

I went to interview old man Jenkins in the nursing home because he turned 100 years of age.
- I hear you still smoke a lot?
- Oh yeah.
- And you have several smiley - alesmiley - ale and smiley - stiffdrinksmiley - stiffdrink during the day?
- Oh yeah.
- What about women, are you still - you know - enjoying their company?
- Sure. Most of them living here are quite old but I am always very gentle.
- Really? What does your smiley - doctor have to say about all this smiley - huh
- Nothing. He's dead ...

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1052

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

That's a sad fate for a doctor. Having your oldest patient outlive you makes you the punchline for his jokes. The doctor fizzles out while George Burns.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1053

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

When everyone had finally boarded Noah's ark and everybody had calmed down somewhat, one unicorn met the other and said:
- Hi there, sweety, looks like it's up to us to preserve our species. My name is Hank, what are you called, honey?
- George ...

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1054

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Woodworm 1 - Gee! That was close dear wife, I'm glad Noah saved us.
Woodworm 2 - Oh husband! If only you knew.....


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1055

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

A: - It's a darned shame Adam and Eve weren't from South East Asia?

B: - Why is that then?

A: - Because then they would of most likely have eaten the snake instead of the smiley - apple

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1056

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

Miss Piggy went to great lengths to woo Kermit. Once she hired Nat King Cole to serenade him by singing "Unfrogettable"


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1057

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

I had just started work as a docent at the museum. One of the job's perks was that I could bring my dirty clothes to their laundry and have them cleaned and delivered to me. At cost, of course, as nothing in life is free.

But when I called them to see if my laundry was ready, the voice on the other end just said, "Bill is in mail."

I wanted to ask "But where is the laundry itself," but she had hung up.

Just then the doorbell rang. There was a man in a suit of armor with a box of fresh laundry in his hand. "Hi, I'm Bill," he said.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1058

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

smiley - biggrina possible "yike" joke ? smiley - erm

hitler dies and at the pearly gates says if you let me in, I'll give you all my medals including my iron cross ?
jesus asks god for his advice, god says - don't be stupid! iron cross! Just look at the trouble you had with just a wooden one.

no insult as per - only humour!


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1059

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

"May the Gods keep the wolves in the hills and our women in our beds!" (Menelaos, Prince of Sparta)

"Well now, the wolves we can handle, but this woman seems to have a mind of her own, dear prince" (Gods of Greece)

Yep, I've been watching Wolfgang Petersen's "Troy" again smiley - winkeye

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1060

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

Hector had been sitting in a cold draft, and caught a cold. It was enough to make a Trojan hoarse.


Key: Complain about this post

Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

More Conversations for Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more