This is the Message Centre for Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jan 26, 2019
The colonel was furious and at the end of a long tirade roared at his men: "What am I, a nut?"
From the back row came the answer: "No, kernel"
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jan 26, 2019
I needed a lot of haggis for a big party on Burns Night so I asked the employment agency to send me an organ grinder, but when I saw his instrument and the little monkey I knew they had got it all wrong
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me Posted Jan 26, 2019
And if you had insisted that it be organic, you'd have gotten the same result.
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jan 26, 2019
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me Posted Jan 26, 2019
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Feb 7, 2019
Back in my childhood a former RAF pilot came to tell us about his "work" during the great war:
Pilot: - There were Fockers to the right of me and Fockers to the left of me but with some gutsy moves I succeded in getting out of there while hitting some of them badly.
Teacher: - I should probably explain that when the pilot says - erm - Fockers, he means a certain brand of German air planes.
Pilot: - Yeah, but some of those Fockers were Heinkels and Junckers.
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me Posted Feb 8, 2019
Not everyone will see the humor in this, but when Trump refused to sign legislation funding government operations, one of the agencies that would have been funded was the Immigration and naturalization Service. Tens of thousands of aliens waiting to become citizens could not have their hearings. Trump has admonished would-be citizens to go through the channels, and here he was shutting down the channels for 35 days.
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Feb 24, 2019
What is the difference between a lawyer/solicitor and a Rhinoceros ?
I lawyer/solicitor charges more
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Feb 25, 2019
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me Posted Feb 25, 2019
Rincewind tried to make an army of orcs vanish, and he certainly succeeded. Unfortunately, all of DiscWorld followed suit. He wrote a book about it: "Gone with the wand."
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Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Mar 6, 2019
George and Harry, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day George didn't show up. Harry didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after George hadn't shown up for a week or so, Harry really got worried.
However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Harry didn't know where George lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Harry figured he had seen the last of George, but one day, Harry approached the park and-- lo and behold! -- there sat George! Harry was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
Then he said, 'For crying out loud George, what in the world happened to you?'
George replied, 'I have been in jail.'
'Jail!' cried Harry. 'What in the world for?'
'Well,' George said, 'you know that cute little blonde waitress Alice I told you about, at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'
'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'
'Well, the little gold-digging vixen figured I was plenty rich and she filed rape charges against me; and me at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.
'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'
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paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me Posted Mar 6, 2019
Marriage is a sentence that starts with another sentence: "I do."
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Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Mar 6, 2019
Marriage is called "Ehe" in German. It is of course an abbreviation of the Latin words "Errare humanum est" which means "it is human to err"
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Mar 6, 2019
The 3 rings of a marital relationship are:-
Engagement ring - Wedding ring and suffe'ring
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Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Mar 6, 2019
One ring to hold them all: A daily call from the mother-in-law
(This thread is turning into a Greek tragedy )
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Mar 6, 2019
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce Posted Mar 7, 2019
Last night a large quantity of sand, cement and gravel were stolen from a local builder's yard.
A police spokesman said they are looking for some concrete evidence to help catch the thieves.
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Mar 7, 2019
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Apr 2, 2019
Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce Posted Apr 2, 2019
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he’s the best.
Q: What is the most important day in Egypt?
A: Mummy’s Day.
Q: How can you tell if King Tut’s mummy has a horrible cold?
A: By his deep, loud coffin.
Q: What kind of makeup do Egyptian mummies wear?
A: Mas-scare-a
Q: What kind of roads do mummies in Egypt like living on?
A: Dead Ends.
Q: What did King Tutankhamun say when he had a nightmare?
A: I want my mummy.
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Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away
- 1021: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jan 26, 2019)
- 1022: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jan 26, 2019)
- 1023: paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me (Jan 26, 2019)
- 1024: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jan 26, 2019)
- 1025: paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me (Jan 26, 2019)
- 1026: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Feb 7, 2019)
- 1027: paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me (Feb 8, 2019)
- 1028: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Feb 24, 2019)
- 1029: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Feb 25, 2019)
- 1030: paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me (Feb 25, 2019)
- 1031: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Mar 6, 2019)
- 1032: paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me (Mar 6, 2019)
- 1033: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Mar 6, 2019)
- 1034: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Mar 6, 2019)
- 1035: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Mar 6, 2019)
- 1036: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Mar 6, 2019)
- 1037: Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce (Mar 7, 2019)
- 1038: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Mar 7, 2019)
- 1039: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Apr 2, 2019)
- 1040: Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce (Apr 2, 2019)
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