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Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1001

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Farmer - lets play a game!
His herd - What game do you want to play ?
Farmer - I'll close my eyes and you cowhide

smiley - ermsmiley - erm


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1002

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

My dog ate a quarter three days ago. I took him to the vet, who told me to feed the dog laxatives.

This morning, the vet asked me if the quarter had gone through the dog's system yet.

"Still no change," I replied


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1003

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

smiley - groan that's worse than mine smiley - laughsmiley - laugh

smiley - winkeye


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1004

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

Don't send people into the mine with wurst.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1005

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

Child yells in rage: - I never asked to be born!

Father yells back: - No. And if you had, the answer would have been NO!

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1006

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

He sighed: - It's my wife's fault that I'm a liar
Frind asked: - Really, how is that?
He: - She keeps asking

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1007

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

He said: - I hate to get up in the morning. It keeps me up all day

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1008

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

his wife gave birth to triplets, the husband is searching for the other two guys


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1009

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

"I used to chase wine, women and song. Now I can't hear the song and I can't afford the wine."

"What about the women?"

"I have to try to remember what to do with them."


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1010

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

It was the week before Christmas. Wan Ho's charity golf tournament had just gotten under way when somebody murdered one of the players. The media began calling it Wan Ho's Open slaying.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1011

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

The young wannabe entrepreneur sighed: - Every time I find the key to success some bastard has changed the locks smiley - wah

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1012

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

- Am I the first man you sleep with, he asked.
- You will be if you fall asleep, she answered.

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1013

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

It was time for brunch. The bagels and cream cheese were ready, but we had misplaced the key for the cabinet where the lox was kept.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1014

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

I told my parrot to say "toilet paper," and she said "paper toilet."

I told her to say "chicken cacciatore," and she said "catch a chicken tory."

My friend was getting impatient. "Why do you bother trying to teach her to speak?"

"We're meant for each other," I replied. "I'm a bird watcher, and she's a word botcher."


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1015

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

People where I hail from take their leisure seriously. Out of towners who know nothing, call them lazy. One of those tested three wise men resting on a bench. "I'll give ten dollars to the laziest among you!" he said. Two of the wise men slowly held their hands out. The third just mumbled: "You can put that note in my shirt pocket".

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1016

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

Sign on a classroom wall: "Time passes. Will you?"


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1017

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

"Leave the peach cobbler in the kitchen alone", Mum said, going upstairs.
But I couldn't help myself. I sneaked in and watched him. Watched him making his little peach shoes. Taunting: "Nobody's going to wear those", I'd say, "they are stupid".
But on he worked ...

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1018

paulh. Bunnies are cute (There, I've said it)

Iwas walking in Chinatown and saw someone I knew.

"Yoo hoo!"I said.

Three people turned toward me.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1019

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An in-vest-i-gator

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1020

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

Q: What do you do if you fall into a mix of yeast and shoe shine?

A: You rise and shine

smiley - pirate


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