This is the Message Centre for Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26621

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Crepe balls of fire!


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26622

Reality Manipulator

I’m going to go against the grain here and say that there's a a grain of truth in what the wheat millers and the bakers said about what goes in making the best bread.


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26623

Reality Manipulator

Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26624

Reality Manipulator

I don’t feel hungry when I see a Belgian waffle; I feel absolutely Flemished.

My pancake maker was stolen, syruptitiously. What a waffle experience – I feel like I’ve been creped. Who will solve this griddle? It’s a salt and buttery: but will the charges stick?


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26625

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I wonder what crepe did this.


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26626

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Soufflé ? Sorry I'm hard of hearing smiley - sadfaceDid you say a play about surfing ?


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26627

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

That post de-surfs a reply.


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26628

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

```````````````````````````````````````````````````

Tweedledum and Tweedledee couldn't agree on the kind of cookie they were sharing. Tweedledum thought it tasted like figs. Tweedledee said it was mint. They asked Alice to settle the argument.

"There's no cookie," she said. "It's a fig-mint of your imaginations."


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26629

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Next applicant?"

"Hi. I'm interested in the job opening."

"What are your qualifications?"

"I'm quite proficient at light housekeeping.
I can dust, mop, wax, and do a variety of cleaning chores."

"There's been a misunderstanding. The job involves
lighthouse keeping. Next applicant!"


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26630

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Odysseus and his men found a cave overlooking a beach. The cave had milking pens for goats, and some cheeses. Odysseus sent a scout to inspect the cave. The scout was chased by a cyclops. "Captain," he said, here's something you Odyssey!"


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26631

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Guatemala sent a delegation of indigenous people to Elsinore. They said to Hamlet, "We claim all the possessions of your late court Jester. He is descended from Pakal the Great."

"You can't mean..." Hamlet said.

"But we do. What's Yorick's is Mayan.


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26632

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

The tree had one pear. The partridge fled in panic as two unfriendly eyes opened on its neck.

"I'm Baddington Pear, the fruit you dare not meet in a dark alley,"
it rasped.

My true love bought the Halloween version by mistake.


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26633

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I'd like to go to the Halloween party as a character from movies or TV."

"How about going as Mr. Spock from 'Star Trek'"?

"That sounds good."

"Or how about that canary that Sylvester chases?"

"Oh, I get it. Trek or Tweet."


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26634

Reality Manipulator

What was Guy Fawkes’ favourite meal?

Bangers and mash


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Post 26635

Reality Manipulator

What happens to be the best salad that can be served on Guy Fawkes night?
Obviously, Rocket.


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26636

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

If fireworks ? why extinguish a good idea ?


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26637

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

After Jesus was born, the dark stable brightened up with the light that emanated from the baby. Unfortunately the manger was empty, so Jesus didn't have straw to lie on.

"Joseph," said Mary, why don't you make hay while the son shines?"


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26638

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant


~~Let the Punnishment Fit the Crime~~

"Whatever you do, don't major in accounting," Mom said as she dropped me off at my dorm.

"You're overreacting," I said.

"Well, watching your husband and brother-in-law go off to prison for accounting fraud will make you do that!"

I hurried off to the administration building to sign up for courses. There was a business management course I wanted, but accounting was a prerequisite. Maybe *one* accounting course would be okay.

"Hello, Mr. Tate," my advisor said when I brought him my course selections, "most of these are good choices, but I can't let you take accounting.".

"But it's a prerequisite for a course I need next semester!" I protested.

"Sorry, but no!" the advisor said. "There's no accounting for Tates."


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26639

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

And it came to pass that a great darkness descended on the Land of
the Candles. It was a time of unmatched wickedness, when evil
waxed strong. None could hold a candle to those who would do wrong.
But one day there was a candle who flared up at the iniquity that
was abroad in the land. He vanquished the darkness and showed
the real meaning of hero-wicks.


A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended

Post 26640

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

And it came to pass! prunes!


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