h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mercedes Bends was a great gymnast.

Light-hearted Jedi are experts at light-hearted humour and making ultra light soufflés where they have most of their light-bulb moments.

After Luke Skywalker grew up, he left the fours behind him, and had the fives with him.

"We are four of The Three Musketeers. All for one and two for a fiver!"

Han Solo was a smart card . He always had the fours up his sleeve

Han Duo was a pair of Siamese twins

On my way home I spotted an albino Dalmatian.

It was the least I could do.

I got drunk and took my dog for a walk. It was the leashed I could do.

Dachshund! Sorry I have a cold, it should have been Doberman Pinscher

Frank the Burgermeister of Frankfurter was a meister of making the perfect burger .

wigs have been found on Everest! Experts reckon they are "mountain hares"

Many a bearded mountain climber has had a close shave on Everest.

Shakespeare was the "beard" of Avon

Outside the Inn on the Green, The Wigs (whigs) were having a fight on the green which was enough to make your hair stand on end. They were tearing each others hair out. It was a hair raising experience as they split hairs over who had the best Wig.

Bread is like the sun! it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist

The milkmaid hated her work. She said the farm was a dairy bull place!

The who archaeologists went on an archaeology field trip camped overnight in the nearby field in Wakefield. As the smell of freshly brewed coffee, the archaeologists had awaken from their sleep to be greeted by the camp owner with a trolley of plates of fried sausages, bacon and eggs.

Have you heard about the new approach to egg farming? hens are put in egg boxes and told to fill them. I hear that many of the hens think this dozen make sense.

In Barnet, Barney who's Barnet fair (hair) was in a mess from having a barney about Barnet F.C's match with Barnsley F.C..

Apparently ? you can't use "beef-stew" as a password - it's not stroganoff!