h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

An old salt who is an old sailor was a ranconteur (raconteur) that told tales about the time he saw legendary sea rancour that attacked his ship when sailing the seven seas which made his ship unseaworthy.

My ship was covered with so many barnacles that I could hardly stand to look at it. It was unseeworthy.

Barney would only sail in ships that were covered in barnacles. The last ship he sailed in, he asked the captain's permission to remove the barnacles and use them as cladding for his barn which has been turned into a home.

The barnacles were everywhere. They covered the hull keel.

The rabbits attacked my vegetable garden there was a lot of carrotral damage

What was the rabbit's favorite rock band?

Ultimate Spinach.

The mathematic bunny only ate square root vegetables.

Did he calculate their harea?

The Klingon general upped roots and became a Vegan

Welsh rabbits rabbit on about eating rabbit food when eating Welsh rarebit on toast.

Klingons Klingon (cling on) to each par-take in battles and par'Mach making rituals.

I used to have a musical instrument look after my young children, it was a baby sitar

Don't tell me you believed it! I was surely a lyre.

The best drink to have with your supper when the weather is mild, is to sup on mild ale.

It was not panning out for the drummers who were trying to drum support for their drum and steel-pan band.

The sun is sunspot free without having to use spot removing cream. When the sun is active, the sun breaks out in spots. It also suffers from solar wind caused by flatulence.

The Romaine Empire has fallen. Caesar is dead. Lettuce pray.



PS: This was leeked to me through the grape wine

That's salad of puns. I'm green with envy.

Every fish in the school hoped to earn high grades and be admitted to the tunaversity.

The honeymoon couple Olive and Olivia agreed to sit on the captain's table where they started grace with Lettuce pray at the beginner of the banquet. At the end of the grace where Olive and Olivia asked for the orchestra to turnip the music.