h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I didn't, I play the ansaphone.

The WAG'S were having a chin-wag about their football playing spouses who where playing musical chairs which was music to their ears. The WAGS and their football playing spouses were very good at blowing their trumpet. It took two of the couples to tango which made them fit as a fiddle.

The orchestra sponsored a fundraising ball game every year. Sadly, these great musicians were not great athletes. The pitcher was often flat. Players in the string section rarely managed to get to second bass. The organist, however, did well with shortstop.

The playwright lost the plot of the play about the life of Samwise Gamgee after the Battle of Baywater who as a gardener and a member of Fellowship of the Ring the that changed his surname from Gamgee to Gardener.

Heaven has helped me grow vegetables by giving me a gardening angel.

send my condiments to the chef for a wonderful meal

Why is a library book like Greta Garbo?

Because it wants to be on loan.

Rowan, the alderman went to visit his friend Ashley who lived in Ashington. When they were there, they went to the Newbiggin Beech where they drank pints of Blackthorn cider.

Whenever there's a clear night sky and there's a sunny morning, I would wake up in my bed in a field in Wakefield.

All the Dude ever wanted was his rucksack

Bud's favourite plant is the Buddleia shrub.

Butterfly Bush was President Bush's cousin. His favorite food was butterfly shrimp.

I had a knap on my knapsack as I was using it as a pillow inside my tent. The tent was surround by ten purple knapweed in the Ten Mile Bank Village.

I Rhododendron, but dendron's never made the popular car list

When it's empty, all you have to do is philodendron.

Members of Hydra are experts in growing hydrangeas who they keep hydrated with plenty of water.

things constantly rising in prices etc, but tulips have never gone up to threelips

"There are no snack cakes in the house!"

"Not nece-Sara-Lee."

That posting should leave two cookies on your computer, paulh