A Conversation for Love Actually - the film

Peer Review: A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 1

summerbayexile

Entry: Love Actually - the film - A87954231
Author: summerbayexile - U208939

Hi all, Summerbayexile here. This is my first review for about 11 years so please be gentle with me! Hopefully it will be good enough to get picked and edited in time for the festive season! Any suggestions etc gratefully received.


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 2

Bluebottle

Welcome back! Great to see you here and writing againsmiley - applause
And I love the entry on 'smiley - love Actually'. The only thing I would suggest adding is that as well as watching this on the telly, it is well worth getting the film on DVD as there are fantastic extras including deleted scenes (and deleted storylines) and the whole of Billy Mack's music video. (Which reminds me, the soundtrack too is well worth purchasing, in my opinion). My girlfriend and I saw this in the cinemas and we're still together now.

Although if truth be told, back in 2003 I was smiley - brokenheart when 'Christmas is all Around' didn't get to number one in real lifesmiley - wah I'd done my bit and bought a copy, but no, 'Mad World' was instead. Which only goes to show it really is a mad smiley - earth sometimes.

I hope you get the Christmas magic smiley - santasmiley - magic to let this get to the front page in time for Christmas.

<BB<


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 3

Gnomon - time to move on

A87954231 Love Actually - the Film

Hi SummerBayExile. A good entry.smiley - applause

You mention Richard Curtis in passing. You should give him star billing! He wrote and directed it and is responsible for the tortuous plot lines and the wonderful dialogue. You could also mention some of his other successes, such as Blackadder, Four Weddings and a Funeral, and Notting Hill

Would it be worth quoting a few great lines from it, or would that be pandering to the people who already know the film but only confusing the ones who haven't seen it?

How do you distinguish between major and minor stories? I never noticed any of them to be any more or less important. Later in the entry you describe them all as "main stories", which surely means the same as "major stories"?

I always imagined Rufus as a Christmas Angel.

I don't understand your Phineas and Ferb reference. Could you provide a footnote?

You've a tendency to use long sentences - I've no problem with this but in some cases you can shorten them slightly by a slight rewording. I'll suggest these and it's up to you whether you use them or not.

It's a while since I've seen the film (last Christmas, of course) so I'm not sure of this: I thought that the Prime Minister's words were:

you'll find that love actually is all around

whereas you have it as

you'll find that love, actually, is all around

In mine, the word "actually" refers to "is". In yours, it refers to "love". Which did he say?

Some minor tweaks:

Tony Blair referenced it
-- I'd prefer:
Tony Blair referred to it

but it's up to you.

to learn how to play the drums --> to learn to play the drums

Portugese --> Portuguese

to set up nude scenes --> to set up nude sex scenes
(why be coy?)

When the ember of their attraction finally becomes a flame -- the place this is positioned makes it sound like the attraction between Sarah and her brother. You could say:

When the ember of attraction between Sarah and Karl finally becomes a flame... but that sounds clumsy. Think of some other way around this.

and at times plays a central role in certain scenes --> and plays a central role in certain scenes

Hugh Grant didn’t want to do the dance scene --> Hugh Grant didn’t like the scene

He wanted to know why the music could be heard throughout the building and why it suddenly stops. -->
Why could the music be heard throughout the building and why did it suddenly stop?

Finally, the airport scene at the end --> The airport scene at the end

a fairly poor taste joke --> a joke in fairly poor taste

The Karen and Harry story was left unresolved --> The Karen and Harry story is left unresolved

Some Christmas films do well when they first come out and fade away -->
Some Christmas films do well when they first come out but then fade away

the majority are appalling films that are largely and justifiably forgotten -->
the majority are appalling films that are justifiably forgotten

Love Actually belongs to a rare group of films --> Love Actually is one of those films

portraying a relationship in trouble with a seriousness -->
portraying a troubled relationship with a seriousness

from becoming too sickly --> from becoming too sickly sweet

for nearly all people --> for nearly everyone

Scrooge like characters --> Scrooge-like characters

for the first time or the 20th time --> for the first or the 20th time

smiley - smiley G


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 4

Gnomon - time to move on

And one more:

the majority are appalling films --> most are appalling films


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 5

Gnomon - time to move on

Kiera Knightley --> Keira Knightley


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 6

summerbayexile

Cheers Gnomon. I remember your invaluable input to many previous entries and I am glad that you're around to work through this one. smiley - ok You are correct about my tendency to use long sentences (!) and I will be using a number of your suggestions. In terms of the stories, I will take that on board and put it all under one heading. As someone who is very rusty, could you please remind me how to put in a footnote? Many thanks once again and I will go away and edit it.
SBE


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 7

summerbayexile

Hi there Bluebottle,

Many thanks for that. It is nice to see a few of the old crowd here to welcome me back. Thanks for the suggestion on the DVD. I will use that. Gnomon has given me a lot of tweaks to look at, but I have to admit that after a couple of false starts it was great to be back writing. I do have another couple of Christmas themed entries that I'm planning so watch this space!

SBE


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 8

summerbayexile

Thanks to Gnomon and Bluebottle! smiley - cheerssmiley - cheers I have added an entire section about Richard Curtis and also the soundtrack album and DVD. I have used almost all the suggested edits and it looks a more complete entry.

SBE


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 9

Gnomon - time to move on

Footnotes are done using the tags FOOTNOTE and /FOOTNOTE (surrounded by angle brackets, of course).

You should end your footnote with a full stop (before the /FOOTNOTE tag), and if it is at the end of a sentence it should have a full stop after the /FOOTNOTE tag.

For example:

The part of the Prime Minister is played by Hugh GrantThe guy in Notting Hill..

Of course if you're looking at this in Pliny, the previous sentence won't display properly.


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 10

summerbayexile

Cheers Gnomon smiley - cheers

Much obliged to you. The footnote is now in place.

SBE


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 11

summerbayexile

Pleased with the way this reads. It's ready to go as far as I'm concerned.


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 12

SashaQ - happysad

Hi summerbayexile

I only read this Entry very quickly when I was playing Hunt the GuideML Bug, so I'm reading it again now.

Great choice of quotes smiley - snork

The Sub-editor will be able to add some great h2g2 links to this Entry in due course smiley - ok

The Stories section is excellent - neatly summarises how the scenes are linked together smiley - ok

I had a few questions as I read:

"New York Times reviewer A. O. Scott described the film " - maybe specify that 'the film' is 'Love Actually' here, just to be clear

" His comic creation Mr Bean " - need to specify that 'His' is Rowan Atkinson in this sentence

I'm not clear about who is speaking in the exchange Billy has with a Radio Watford DJ

In Red Nose Day, Actually, can you say a word about how the Billy Mack joke was in poor taste? Was it racist, or homophobic or something?

Is Phineas and Ferb a film?

Superb concluding section smiley - applausesmiley - biggrin


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 13

summerbayexile

Cheers Sasha, I will have a look at those later today. Thanks for the feedback.


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 14

summerbayexile

All done, thanks Sasha. smiley - cheers


A87954231 - Love Actually - the film

Post 15

SashaQ - happysad

Excellent smiley - cheers


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 16

h2g2 auto-messages

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 17

SashaQ - happysad

Congratulations! smiley - biggrinsmiley - bubbly


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 18

summerbayexile

Many thanks Sasha and of course the anonymous scout! smiley - biggrinsmiley - biggrin It feels really good to have an entry heading off for sub-editing after 11 years!! smiley - bubblysmiley - bubbly


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 19

Bluebottle

smiley - applausesmiley - bubblyHopefully it'll take less than 11 years to reach the front page smiley - winkeye

I am definitely enjoying the fact that most of this year's Christmas-themed entries were written by someone with 'Summer' in their name.smiley - rofl

<BB<


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 20

summerbayexile

I actually had never thought of that! smiley - laughsmiley - laugh Many thanks for your input on this BB, much appreciated. smiley - ok


Key: Complain about this post

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more