h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Isle of Wight Shipwrecks: Floating Bridge No. 6 - A87911166
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

Why couldn't the £3million bridge cross the river?

I'm beginning to think that the only possible explanation for Floating Bridge 6 is that it was an elaborate April Fool's Day joke that got out of hand and no-one now knows how to end…

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Excellent to see this in Peer Review - apt for 1 April indeed, that Floating Bridge No 6 is a joke that is not funny...

is a joke, but that is not funny that it is such a waste of time and money...

Another waste of money was the latest official report. I've tweaked the entry to say:

13 April 2019 – the East Cowes councillor announces that the Local Enterprise Partnership's summary report on the bridge was a 'catastrophic failure' that 'cannot represent any kind of perspective on which policy or future actions are based.' Councillor Karl Love announced, 'We submitted several hundred pages demonstrating that the floating bridge has hurt the economy and that the Council appears to have provided deceptive information to the LEP in their business case.' Yet the report states it only received 14 responses to its consultation from the Isle of Wight, grouping the hundreds of responses from members of public on the Isle of Wight together and summarily dismissing them with the words 'one response was received from a stakeholder group'.

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That's not good that the LEP report dismissed the consultation responses, but is good that a Councillor has raised the issue.

I'm not sure I follow all the events, though - was it the Council report that said the floating bridge wouldn't work, and the LEP report that said the Council provided deceptive information while deceiving readers about the extent of the response to the consultation?

Thanks for your comments there – sorry I didn't notice them before.
I've updated it to include yesterday's news story (the Council announced the bridge was out of service when it, shockingly, actually wasn't out of service The council then said 'Sorry, we got the dates wrong'.
But to answer your question the Councillor described the LEP report as being fill of deceptive information and highlighted that it was deceiving readers. The councillor also said the floating bridge doesn't work.

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Strangely true:
According to what3words the Floating Bridge goes from Committed.written.wreck to country.ferried.umbrellas, travelling through such references as Piglets.collision.living, Mermaids.overlook.stuns and Only.reference.rock

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Updated

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"(the Council announced the bridge was out of service when it, shockingly, actually wasn't out of service "

Shocking indeed, given the probability that it was likely to have been true!!

Great what3words locations indeed!

"Floating Bridge No 6 was built to have an expected lifespan of 40 years (which seems incredibly optimistic)" - does this mean it was expected to have a lifespan of 40 years, like No 5, but given that it broke down within a day, this seems incredibly optimistic?

What are 'prows'? Ah, is that the total length of the whole unit, while the 'length of hull' is the length of the bottom bit that sits in the water?

"Sloping shouldered report " - what's that?

"Islanders, though pleased that the floating bridge has reliably mastered the ability to stand still, would prefer a reliably moving floating bridge."

"•26 September 2018 – Pulled from service for 24 hours following an accident in which a member of staff fell unconscious below deck in the engine room." Do you know what the cause was found to be in the end? Sounds like the person was overcome by fumes, but that would presumably have taken more than 24 hours to fix... Ah, I see the outcome became known on 3 April

" it only received 14 responses to its consultation from the Isle of Wight" - On the one hand it sounds like the 'locked filing cabinet in the basement' syndrome, but that is extra sneaky when individual responses are grouped together... Happened in a consultation I took part in a few years ago, when someone made a template letter to help people with learning disabilities to contribute, but everyone who used the template was grouped together into a single response

'psychophysical characteristics' is a fascinating phrase... Much to ponder, there...

I like the BBC link - captured a tweet from '42 minutes ago' Yikes, 'old' 3 year old chains needed replacing after having not been used for a number of days during that time "no end date initially given" - no end *time* initially given?

Excellent update to the timeline - the saga just keeps on going... That is a fascinating comment from the Council Leader, overoptimistic, defensive and realistic all in one

The percentage of schedule operation perhaps sits better higher up, and then the quote is an excellent closing comment

Thanks for your comments, I've made improvements to the entry without taking it out of service for a month and sending everyone on a 12-mile diversion.

I've added a to hopefully explain the hull and prow measurements.

I'm surprised you've not heard the expression 'slopey/sloping shoulders' before. Unlike someone who is 'broad-shouldered' and carries both responsibility and blame, someone with sloping shoulders at the slightest hint of being criticised passes the blame onto others and says it was nothing to do with them. I thought it was a common phrase, but if no-one else is familiar with it I can add an explanation?

Anyway, I've done some tweaking and moved things around – but the important thing to remember is that if there are any problems with this entry, they're not my fault. I'm the only one who has written this, it is true, but I deny any and all responsibility.

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Superb description of the sound it makes!

Thank you for the explanation of 'sloping shouldered report' - I know 'has broad shoulders' meaning a person can cope with responsibility and blame, but can't say I've ever heard the antonym before! My first thought was that it was a report about the slopes into the water

Well done for improving the Entry without the need for a 12-mile diversion. "I deny any and all responsibility." - Noted

This story is popular on Social Media, and we sent a link to your Entry, <BB<!

We received a reply "that is genius. Love it!"

This entry is much funnier than the situation it describes. I like it!

Ooh, what Social Media was it linked to from? or , or more?
(Dare I suggest that if the unedited version went down well, how well-received an approved version might be…? )

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It was on (News from on the Wight)

"Dare I suggest that if the unedited version went down well, how well-received an approved version might be…?"

Good point! Do you have a plan for managing the Timeline of Service? It will be out of date on Monday. With the way things have gone, it is likely to be out of date again at least once more before 12 May, 2020, too!

Are you suggesting that the Floating Bridge will become out of service again at some point in the future, despite it being fixed now?

I've tweaked the entry again – and should the entry need an update I'll use the established system for updating & curating entries, 'cos that's what it is there for.

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That's good news that it is fixed today as expected. Yes, given the events so far, the probability is high that it will become out of service again at some point before its third birthday!

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Hurray! To paraphrase that old song, 'The Ferry to the Isle of Wight',

The floating bridge on the Isle of Wight is something quite unique
It looks just like a Sherman tank and breaks down once a week
And if you cross on Mondays, well it's bound to spring a leak,
When you cross the River Medina on the Floating Bridge.

The captain groans, the engine moans, and it's all systems go
But after half a yard you wonder if you'll have to row
The seagulls all have nylon ropes in case you need a tow,
When you cross the River Medina on the Floating Bridge.

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Congratulations!