A Conversation for Paultons Park, Hampshire, UK

Peer Review: A87906801 - Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK - A87906801
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

Previously in Peer Review here: F22153632?thread=8319845

<BB<


A87906801 - Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK

Post 2

SashaQ - happysad

Good to see this back in Peer Review as an acquaintance of mine went there relatively recently. We discussed the accessibility policy together beforehand as the website indicates it is quite good albeit slightly unusual compared to similar attractions (most places charge the disabled person but allow a carer free entry, but I think it is quite a good idea to admit wheelchair users free but charge for a carer, so if a wheelchair user goes by themself and can't do much it doesn't matter much because they didn't have to pay anyway! Paulton's policy is not so good for disabled people who can walk a bit but not very much, though - it's an expensive day out for them...)

Getting back to the Entry, the first sections still read well, but I still have concerns about the amount of detail in 'The Park Today' section - it is out of date already and exceeds the definition of 'very lengthy' so you might like to check that again...

The 'discocoaster' is a fascinating thing - I see there is a good picture of it on the map http://paultonspark.co.uk/map and it looks as scary as it sounds from your description! smiley - yikessmiley - laugh

smiley - ok


A87906801 - Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK

Post 3

Bluebottle

I've reworded the entry and shortened the 'Park Today' section slightly. Where's this definition of 'very lengthy', then, eh, or have you just made that up? At least we can both agree that 'War and Peace' is very lengthy. The Park Today section is as much about the past as the present. Let's face it, someone in Australia or California who is never going to visit the UK won't care about an entry about Paulton's Park no matter how long it is. The people who have been to Paulton's Park are those who are most likely to want to read it, followed by those who are considering going.
The detail of what used to be at Paulton's Park is important as it is the detail that sparks memories. Saying 'there are penguins' is short but doesn't mean much. Writing 'the penguins are where the bumper boats were' may spark memories in readers of the fun they had on the bumper boats when they visited as children.

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A87906801 - Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK

Post 4

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

Lengthy begins when the reader starts to be bored to death, and ends when he or she is ready to gnaw off a limb to get away from the excess information dump.

I agree that 'The Park Today' section is entirely too long. If somebody wanted to go there, what would be the most important thing they'd want to know?

The first part is REALLY interesting - that's real Guide stuff, there! Starting a theme park entry with the Domesday Book? Pure gold.

However, what in H is a Peppa Pig? Could you put it in a footnote, please? smiley - grovel


A87906801 - Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK

Post 5

SashaQ - happysad

Thanks <BB<

The Peer Review homepage mentions Entry length. War and Peace is very lengthy, yes, so it was split into several volumes smiley - ok There is nuance around the matter, though, I agree - the Evolution of the Railway Carriage Entry is very lengthy, for example, but I found it rewards the effort as there is plenty of relatable information in it, whereas for me this Entry feels longer than it is. I enjoyed the first couple of sections, but then it was very hard going spending 7 minutes or so reading the text aimed at people who have been before before I got to the fascinating bit about the discocoaster smiley - ok

Thanks for explaining who you are writing for in this Entry. I think curious people like h2g2ers might like to know a little something about a place in a country they haven't been to (especially one with the curious-sounding discocoaster smiley - laugh), but yes 'there are penguins' wouldn't mean much so it would be a different Entry for a general international audience compared to an Entry for people who have been before smiley - ok


A87906801 - Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK

Post 6

Bluebottle

There is an expression 'ignorance is bliss'. That very well applies to Peppa Pig. Imagine a life without hearing *that* theme tune every five minutes non-stop from the back of the car when journeying up to visit the in-laws in Yorkshire. A life in which you don't find yourself treading on one of the over-priced yet ridiculously fragile plastic toys that was left on the floor whenever you make yourself breakfast in the morning. It is a cartoon series so bright, cheery – everything else in existence that causes people to see those colour combinations have been outlawed in every civilised country. But the kids loved it – fortunately they've outgrown it now.

Anyway, I've consolidated the entry and it is definitely shorter than before.

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A87906801 - Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK

Post 7

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

smiley - rofl Thanks for including the footnote for those of us left out of the loop. Never having had kids, we've only kept in touch with the popular entertainment for the younger set when we happened to be teaching them, which we did in Greece.

The one thing that Elektra hates most is a Smurf. The ten-year-olds knew this, and put Smurf stickers on their homework, just for her. smiley - evilgrin I could find her classroom because they'd whistle the song.

I hate to bring up one more thing, but....

>>gypsy caravans<<

Yeah, I know what those are. I've even lived in one for a week. But the Romany and Sinti object to 'gypsy'. Since you've already said 'Romany', could you call the non-motor homes 'colourful horse-drawn caravans'? Everybody will know, and nobody will get mad at us. smiley - smiley






A87906801 - Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK

Post 8

Bluebottle

That's a fair cop – updated now.smiley - ok
For more news stories about Peppa Pig, see:
http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/peppa-pig

<BB<


A87906801 - Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK

Post 9

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

smiley - rofl Thanks for that! Now I know something. But oh, brother. smiley - facepalm

You might appreciate James Bridle - at least he has a comprehensible accent smiley - winkeye - and his views about children, algorithms, and Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9EKV2nSU8w


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 10

h2g2 auto-messages

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

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Post 11

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

smiley - applause


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 12

bobstafford

smiley - cheers


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Peer Review: A87906801 - Paulton's Park, Hampshire, UK

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