A Conversation for 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film

Peer Review: A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film - A87906379
Author: Whitebottle - U43530

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A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 2

Bluebottle

Happy Birthday 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film!
This has been back in Peer Review for over a year!smiley - cake

And not a single sausage of a comment either...

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A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 3

Gnomon - time to move on

That's because it is almost perfect.smiley - smiley

A quick run through:

Peter and Caspian clash over whether to undertake a daring night raid, yet Peter persuades Caspian to agree.

-- "yet" is the wrong word here. "Yet" means that the second part of the sentence appears to contradict the first part. I think you just need "and".

the only entirely green screen scene in the film; with the exception of Skandar Keyne

-- change the semicolon to a colon here. The part after it is directly explaining the piece just before it.

the actors playing Centaurs walked -- use a lower-case c on centaurs, as you did a few sentences previously

Telmarines lords --> Telmarine lords


smiley - smiley G


A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 4

h2g2 Guide Editors

Belated Happy Birthday smiley - cake The Entry did get comments in the previous Peer Review thread F22153567?thread=8320014 but Gnomon's input is much appreciated smiley - redwine


A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 5

Bluebottle

It certainly is - and I've tweaked those bits accordingly. smiley - biggrin

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A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 6

Gnomon - time to move on

A few more:

and ended the partnership between Walden Media and Disney made.
-->
and ended the partnership between Walden Media and Disney.

the Old Narnians, talking animals and mythical creatures, have been driven into hiding
-- this is not wrong, but it might suggest you are talking about three different categories here:

1) Old Narnians
2) Talking animals
3) Mythical creatures

You can get around this by using dashes:

the Old Narnians - talking animals and mythical creatures - have been driven into hiding

As Caspian and Peter are the same age as,
-->
As Caspian and Peter are the same age,

1938 London Tube Stock, the same type of train is still
-- change the comma after Stock to a semicolon

smiley - smiley G


A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 7

Bluebottle

Excellent –I've made those changes, thanks. smiley - biggrin

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A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 8

Gnomon - time to move on

Aided by his tutor Doctor Cornelius, Caspian escapes and finds the Old Narnians, blowing the magical horn of Queen Susan and persuading them to unite under his leadership.

-- to anyone who doesn't know the story, the "blowing the magical horn" will seem a bit strange. I think you'd be better to expand this a bit:

Aided by his tutor Doctor Cornelius, Caspian escapes, finds the Old Narnians and persuades them to unite under his leadership. They decide to summon help by blowing the magical horn of Queen Susan.

In London, the Pevensies struggle to return back to normal life a year after their return from Narnia.
-- to avoid "return" twice in the one sentence, you could say:

In London, the Pevensies struggle to settle back into normal life a year after their return from Narnia.

When they magically find themselves beneath a ruined castle, they realise

-- connect this to the horn:

When the horn is blown, they are magically summoned back to Narnia and find themselves beneath a ruined castle. They realise

The novel's original illustrator, Pauline Baynes, was a key influence on the design of all the sets made for the film.
-- I know that Pauline Baynes died around the time this film was released. Do you mean that they consulted her for the design of the film, or do you mean that her original illustrations were a key influence on the sets?

particularly very well hidden --> particularly well hidden

smiley - smiley G



A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 9

Bluebottle

Thanks for your comments there, I've amended accordingly. Yes, sadly Pauline Baynes died between the making of 'Prince Caspian' and 'Voyage of the Dawn Treader' – it was her illustrations that were used to influence the set design, rather than her being employed in person.

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A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 10

SashaQ - happysad and 'slightly mad'

I'd like to see this be Picked, but I still can't get past the cockroaches...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42733953 Liverpool is still full of them smiley - sadface so the sentences about the 'British climate' etc don't make sense, especially as you can't generalise about the climate of North America, either (Narnia was in everlasting winter when the White Witch was in charge, so its climate is variable?)

Can you delete them, please? smiley - grovel


A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 11

Bluebottle

Okay, I've removed that sentence (and as that left that particular sentence a little short, reordered the other sentences in that paragraph into other paragraphs).

Out of curiousity, how often do you smiley - shrug and simply agree to disagree? smiley - winkeye The existence or otherwise of cockroaches smiley - ant in Narnia smiley - flyingpig seems an odd topic to draw the line at.smiley - silly

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A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 12

SashaQ - happysad and 'slightly mad'

Thank you - the Entry reads very well now smiley - ok

Good question... When I read Entries in Peer Review, I check whether I understand them and believe that they are factual. Given that I found out there are cockroaches in Liverpool that breed like cockroaches, I didn't believe what you were saying about Britain vs America, so I couldn't just let it go.

On the other hand, I worry about some things eg the impact of Lumpy downing Scrumpy in A87956626 but I got a second opinion and agreed with the majority verdict after the evidence had been considered smiley - ok

I do the same sort of checking with my own Entries after falling into a trap with my Arthur Rubinstein Entry A73709067 - I read his autobiography and believed him when he said he married the love of his life and lived with her happily ever after. However, h5ringer knew that he actually left his wife and moved in with the secretary who typeset his autobiography, so I updated my Entry accordingly.

I hope that helps... smiley - tea


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 13

h2g2 auto-messages

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

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Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 14

SashaQ - happysad and 'slightly mad'

Congratulations! smiley - bubblysmiley - biggrin


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 15

Gnomon - time to move on

smiley - applausesmiley - bubbly


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Peer Review: A87906379 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' - the Film

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