A Conversation for Domfront Basse Normandy France

Peer Review: A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 1

bobstafford

Entry: Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France - A87888217
Author: bobstafford - U3151547

I think this about ready now please comment.


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 2

Bluebottle

It doesn't appear to be showing in Goo - do you have tags after the ones? ie







<BB<


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 3

bobstafford

Hi Bluebottle try again smiley - smiley


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 4

bobstafford

There are photos (with descriptions) to add to the text. If you think it is a little short let me know. smiley - smiley


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 5

SashaQ - happysad

I like this Entry - short, but that's no bad thing smiley - ok

I think what does need clarifying is what precisely the Entry is about - the Later History section refers to Domfront the village, I presume, whereas the first two sections are about the castle. I think it would be better to change the introductory paragraph to say that the Entry is focusing on the castle - your section about the Area Around Domfront still fits in nicely with that.

The Later History section is very tantalising, but you wouldn't want to add too much as the Entry would lose focus - perhaps you could delete that section, but add to the paragraph starting "The castle was reduced its present condition..." to tell us more about its history up to WWII.

smiley - ok


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 6

bobstafford

Thanks SashaQ

Good points attended to please commentsmiley - biggrin

The entry can be supplied with photos the comments on the photos could serve to expand the text if necessary


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 7

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

If any descriptions are necessary for the photos please add them to the text. smiley - smiley (at this length we can add 2 pictures I guess, maybe 3 if you add additional text)

I agree that a short Entry is not a bad thing.

Here's what I found while reading:

When was the castle built? You only give dates for later owners it seems.

1st paragraph:
'Within the walls were stables kitchen gardens and orchard'
Is that 'an orchard' or 'orchards'?

I think you should move the visitors information for the castle to the section about 'Domfront Today' and not squeeze it into the history part.

My main problem is that many of the names you mention mean nothing to me. smiley - erm

In your last section about 'other sites' you should probably give one sentence of information for each site so we can have some idea about what can be seen there.


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 8

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

... also:
As your introduction is only one sentence long you could add a few general sentences about Normandy. Always expect your readers to be completely clueless. smiley - winkeye


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 9

You can call me TC

I was going to say something similar to Tav regarding the local geography. Can you mention a couple of nearby well-known towns to give an idea of where it is, please? I have found a place called Domfront en Poiraie, halfway between Rennes and Rouen, on Google maps, also quite near Le Mans, which is well known. Or you could say it is so many miles/km directly West of Paris.

If that is the place you mean. Google maps doesn't know "Domfront en Poire Basse"


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 10

bobstafford

Thanks Tav and TC for your comments, to focused on the town, the location issues will be easy to sort out, you are right TC Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France is the full title, however Domfront is most commonly used, but as you say Google maps search is important people need to find it. Although both Domfront and Domfront En Poire seem to google map fine here.

And mentioning local towns is also a good point.

Thanks both of you smiley - cheers


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 11

bobstafford

Thanks for the helpful comments I have made some amendments and additions please comment; I also have some photographs where can I post them for your opinion(s)smiley - cheers


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 12

bobstafford

Its just Domfront En Poire its in Basse Normandy smiley - cheers


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 13

bobstafford

Any more comments smiley - smiley


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 14

bobstafford

The amendments have been made, anymore suggestions smiley - smiley


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 15

bobstafford

Any more suggestions smiley - smiley
NB there are a selection of photos that can be added to illustrate the text


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 16

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

I'm sorry, but I don't think you actually addressed the points I mentioned. smiley - erm


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 17

You can call me TC

There could be more, but it gives a taste for what one can find there.

Just one sentence I am struggling with:

>>There is a tourist office is situated near the Château entrance and is very helpful with car parking nearby.<<

Who exactly is helpful with car parking?


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 18

Gnomon - time to move on

I don't believe there is such a place as Domfront En Poire.

You're right TC, bob is talking about Domfront-en-Poiraie.


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 19

bobstafford

Thanks for the points raised Tav

I have several photos and planned to post them so the Eds can pick the most appropriate.

When was the castle built? That is taken care of

Is that 'an orchard' or 'orchards'? Orchard

My main problem is that many of the names you mention mean nothing to me
Good point will links to those mentioned solve the problem

In your last section about 'other sites' you should probably give one sentence of information for each site so we can have some idea about what can be seen there.
In hand

The advice is appreciated smiley - cheers


A87888217 - Domfront En Poire Basse Normandy France

Post 20

bobstafford

Hi Gnomon Bob is talking about Domfront-en-Poiraie, I picked up Domfront-en-Poire from The story of French pear cider sitesmiley - erm


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