A Conversation for 'Star Wars' Animated Adventures

Peer Review: A87871657 - Star Wars Animated Adventures

Post 1

Sgt. Bluebottle's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Entry: Star Wars Animated Adventures - A87871657
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

It is my new hope that this will get to the Front Page in time for Star Wars' 40th Anniversary this year!

<BB<


A87871657 - Star Wars Animated Adventures

Post 2

Elektragheorgheni -Please read 'The Post'

What is the date for that BB?


A87871657 - Star Wars Animated Adventures

Post 3

SashaQ - happysad - Editor

Ewoks!

Great concept for an Entry indeed - I certainly learned a lot from this. I need to check my videos and see which Ewoks episodes I have - I think I liked the first series best, as they all did seen to be similar in colour if I recall correctly...


A87871657 - Star Wars Animated Adventures

Post 4

Sgt. Bluebottle's Lonely Hearts Club Band

I've only got one 'Ewoks' videosmiley - wah

I loved that growing up, especially the 'E-E-E-E-Ewoks' song smiley - whistlesmiley - musicalnote

Sadly the 40th Anniversary isn't 'Star Wars Day' (May the Fourth be with you), but 3 weeks later on May the 25th in the US.

<BB<


A87871657 - Star Wars Animated Adventures

Post 5

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

Same as Towel Day A87870531

Now I'm having one of those Twilight Zone moments smiley - eurekasmiley - weird

GB
smiley - galaxysmiley - tardis


A87871657 - Star Wars Animated Adventures

Post 6

SashaQ - happysad - Editor

A thorough readthrough for this...

"In fact, animation has been expanding the background of that galaxy far, far away since that time long, long time ago known as 1978."

I like this sentence, but it isn't quite right somehow - too many "time"s

"perform their voices" - should this read "voice their characters" or similar?

"Star Wars: Droids: The Adventures of R2-D2 and C-3PO also known as Star Wars Animated Adventures: Droids, or usually simply Droids for short, is an animated series concentrating on what Luke's droids C-3PO and R2-D2 endured before they were first seen in A New Hope, the first Star Wars film and commonly referred to as Star Wars."

There's a lot going on in this sentence... Perhaps rephrase to say something like:

"Droids is also known as Star Wars: Droids: The Adventures of R2-D2 and C-3PO or as Star Wars Animated Adventures: Droids. It is an animated series concentrating on what Luke's droids C-3PO and R2-D2 endured before they appeared in the first Star Wars film (Star Wars - A New Hope)"

"The characters were voiced by LucasArts Star Wars video game actors with the sole exception of Anthony Daniels, who reprised his role as C-3PO"

I think this needs to be reordered as you start by talking about characters, but then mention Anthony Daniels:

"LucasArts Star Wars video game actors provided the voices with the sole exception of Anthony Daniels, who reprised his role as C-3PO"

"although with a very different voice as the actor providing the voice in the latter film had not been chosen, which is explained in Volume Two" - what does this mean?

"voiced by voice artists" - this sounds funny - I think I guess what you mean (voiced by people who just provided voices, rather than the actors from the films).

"Rebel Alliance was started from the point of view of the crew of the Ghost." - I think this would read better if you delete "from the point of view of the crew of the Ghost" as you explain that later in the paragraph.

"popularly released on DVD" - what does this mean?

"Following its success two more 30-minute episodes were commissioned, although both were available in 45-minute extended editions Episode II" - This is another sentence dense with information...

smiley - ok


A87871657 - Star Wars Animated Adventures

Post 7

Sgt. Bluebottle's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Thanks for that input – your points are all valid and so I have amended the article accordingly. As they're all minor tweaks rather than major changes I don't think I need to comment on them, but let me know if you think more changes are needed. smiley - smiley

<BB<


A87871657 - Star Wars Animated Adventures

Post 8

SashaQ - happysad - Editor

Excellent tweakage smiley - oksmiley - galaxy


A87871657 - Star Wars Animated Adventures

Post 9

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

smiley - applauseAh, *this* Star Wars entry!smiley - eureka

I saw the latest film at the weekend. Confused, moi?smiley - huh When's the next Trek film out?smiley - run


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 10

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Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 11

SashaQ - happysad - Editor

Congratulations! smiley - magic


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 12

bobstafford

Very well done smiley - cheers


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 13

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

smiley - applause


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