h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*considers blanking out the security cameras for a laugh*

*goes off somewhere to modify his towel*

*places a terminal pill in his towel, and then soaks a corner of it with Matrix-esque synthetic protein gruel (everything the body needs) for survival on an op*

*walks back in, his towel seemingly back in his satchel*

*is suspicious about the "seemingly"*
*pulls his towel out of the protein*

Well, it isn't in my hands, and there's a bulky object in my satchel. And no, it isn't a dwarf, I checked.

*scans the bulky object* I thought so. Thake the phaser out, Axe...

*opens up his satchel*

Lets see...

>> Sniper Rifle
>>
>>
>> Towel
>> Subediting Notes
>> Red Pen

Nope, I can't see a phaser in there.