A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop

A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 1

Deety

Entry: Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body - A2885556
Author: Deeety - U767438

I got married on Monday was the inspiration behind this one...


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 2

Pinniped


Like itsmiley - biggrin
Pin (off to alert potential admirers)


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 3

J

Good. Nice ending with the plant bit. I liked it.

smiley - blacksheep


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 4

Sneaky

Compeling and disturbing at the same time. Oddly enough I kept waiting for the twist that never really came. Of course I kinda want to know more about her. Her past, how things got to be that way, and of course her future with the protaganist.

I'll definately be watching this one.

smiley - aliensmile


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 5

CaffienatedMonkey- (formally SupremeEarthworm) Dreaming of Sleep

LOL... Great non-ending ending! "She had the best plants I had ever seen." I like the way it builds up to the point where you're wandering whats going to happen, and then woosh, there are the plants... Nice visuals too, especially the crooked leg and the toe... smiley - winkeyesmiley - biggrin


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 6

Tonsil Revenge (PG)

Eee-yuck, part two.


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 7

Deety

Maybe it would be easier to digest if it was written by a woman.

He wasn’t like other men I had dated, to start with he didn’t have any of his own teeth, but he was still lovely and could look very sexy under some very low light conditions. His body was amazing, well that’s what the doctors said, his legs were very slim, long and model like, the left one that is, the right one was a bit crooked but wasn’t noticeable if he stood sideways on.

The thing I liked the best about him was his right testicle, rounded and firm and easily identifiable as the real one. His firm uplifted bottom was remarkable, both buttocks were identical which caused problems when buying jeans as they are made for a left and right buttock.

He told me that he often went out with dressmakers or with women who had mothers who could sew well, although after a while they regarded him as a good work challenge rather than a boyfriend.

I had met him in a small narrow dimly lit crowded bar, I could just make him out, wow, look at the balls and legs on that I thought, although later I modified my language and the plural became singular.

After that fist date, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see him again, well not all of him. Anyhow. We did see each other again.

For our second date I thought that we could go to the Chinese restaurant around the corner from his flat. I picked him up at eight and by nine we had eaten and were sitting on the sofa in his flat watching a wildlife documentary on red bottomed baboons. I knew sex would be difficult that night, when he sympathised with the baboons and thought that his cream could help them.

I was feeling a little sexy, so I put my hand on his lap and stretched towards his good side, but he pushed me away and said that he had tired feet.

Take off your shoes and relax, I said. Well that was the worst thing I could have ever said. His right toe was very long and bent in three places, it would make a great crochet hook, I thought.

The rest of his foot wasn’t any better and resembled the sort of place you would find a mushroom hunter. He said don’t worry about the mould, I usually just scrape it off and put it in the flower pot.
I looked around the room and noticed that he had the best looking plants I had ever seen.

ps: the foot joke was something my wife once said to me about my feet..


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 8

Sneaky

You have one strange imagination. At first I thought this was the biginnings of a longer story, but now know better having read the other 'Dating Apart' snippits.

smiley - aliensmile


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 9

Deety

Sneaky, You were right both times. It was supposed to be the beginnings of a longer story (although I sort of imagine short TV sitcoms/sketches when writing these) –most of the other snippets were ideas which I was throwing around for it but they never really went together so not to throw anything away, each became a short snippet with a general thread (strange and shocking humorous weirdness) linking them up.


Ps: I am normal really, really I am…..I just sometimes write strangely…


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 10

Deety

Sneaky,

You thinking the story should be longer somehow has unblocked the next episode.

Thanks


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 11

LL Waz

Awww, what a beautiful couple these two make smiley - smiley.

I prefer the second version. Can't think why...
smiley - winkeyeWaz


A2885556 - Dating Apart - She's got one hell of a Body

Post 12

Deety

"Can't think why..."

umm..
1..because you have a strange taste in men.
2..because you need help with your plants.
smiley - biggrinsmiley - winkeye


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