A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop
A11651988 - Playing with Meter
fran2c Started conversation May 10, 2006
Entry: Playing with Meter - A11651988
Author: fran2c - U3673443
This is a play around with meter that I created ages ago. I hated it at the time as it was the rhythm I was concentrating on and not the words but on reflection it is not a bad little number I suppose.
A11651988 - Playing with Meter
LL Waz Posted May 11, 2006
Not at all a bad little number. A fun read, I like it 
.
The first four lines are the stronger, though I like that four years' free rent bit. I'm not quite getting the rhythm in the last but one line nor the grammar of the last two, but it may be me, it's late 
.
The end part seems to be talking directly to the reader, telling him/her to 'check out...', where the first part seems more narrativelike.
The bite of the 't's and the fast pace is good, enjoyable. A punchline would really finish it off ... I only meant to say I'd enjoyed the read, but got into it. Hope you don't mind.
Am now off , as I should have been half an hour ago.
Waz
A11651988 - Playing with Meter
fran2c Posted May 15, 2006
Thanks for your replies. I'll be posting some of my more favourite poems soon. At the moment they just seem to be gathering dust.
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A11651988 - Playing with Meter
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