A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop

A11651988 - Playing with Meter

Post 1

fran2c

Entry: Playing with Meter - A11651988
Author: fran2c - U3673443

This is a play around with meter that I created ages ago. I hated it at the time as it was the rhythm I was concentrating on and not the words but on reflection it is not a bad little number I suppose.


A11651988 - Playing with Meter

Post 2

LL Waz

Not at all a bad little number. A fun read, I like it smiley - smiley.

The first four lines are the stronger, though I like that four years' free rent bit. I'm not quite getting the rhythm in the last but one line nor the grammar of the last two, but it may be me, it's late smiley - zzz.

The end part seems to be talking directly to the reader, telling him/her to 'check out...', where the first part seems more narrativelike.

The bite of the 't's and the fast pace is good, enjoyable. A punchline would really finish it off ... I only meant to say I'd enjoyed the read, but got into it. Hope you don't mind.

Am now off smiley - zzz, as I should have been half an hour ago.

Waz


A11651988 - Playing with Meter

Post 3

U1250369

Not a bad little number at all !

smiley - applause


A11651988 - Playing with Meter

Post 4

fran2c

Thanks for your replies. I'll be posting some of my more favourite poems soon. At the moment they just seem to be gathering dust.


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