h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Arizona Animules And Their Wiley Ways - A3999540
Author: ArizonIain - U1535223

Okay, after careful consideraton, slightly more time than was allowed by trying to also do 'work' and the critiques from my initial uninformed submission, here's the version with all those wee bits that I originally thought about but couldn't write fast enough to remember the first time. Now to hear the whispers of my peers as I hold my breath and clench my buttocks awaiting the reaction. Maybe that's why they call these things a second draught?

Following on from the previous thread - it's a way first attempt.

It's good on a second read, which is good given that the shock factor has worn off.

First time through I reread the first few sentences a few times because something was throwing me there but I couldn't pin down what it was. Whatever it was it's not there now.

It seemed smoother this time, but that might be the shock factor thing.

Cheers again for the entertainment,
Waz

(PS mind what age you attribute 'antique' to around here .)

Congratulations Arizonlain ! This entry has been selected from the Alternative Writing Workshop and accepted for the <./>UnderGuide</.>

An UnderGuide Gem Polisher will shortly be in touch for final revisions or tweakings before creating a UG copy of the entry to be featured on h2g2's Front Page. Hopefully, someone will let you know when the entry is on the front page, and you'll soon see your entry in the UG Archives at A2112490.

Congrats again, and thank you for contributing here .

-The UnderGuide Editors