h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I lost my partner of 46 years plus last week. Thought he was returning back to health then wham he was gone within 24 hours.Feeling very lost.

What a shock

Thinking of you

How awful for you.

Wishing you all the strength you will need to get through this.

Dropping by to say I'm still thinking of you.

Thank you.It's the stuff that comes after that wears you out.All the form filling,making claims and searching for the info you need..At least the funeral wasn't an issue.He wanted a cremation only service.No church or anything else.When the dust settles and I know my financial situation then I may raise a drink with his friends.

Yes, I think people often forget that after the funeral the bereaved still need support because there's so much to do, when the grief is still so fresh. Makes me think about getting all my affairs in better order.
Raising a glass a bit later on sounds good. Best wishes.

It's the way everything seems to be sorted in blocks of activity.I'm also constantly wondering if I've missed anything important.

Yes, there's intense activity, then waiting for this & that to be processed etc. All you can do is plod on through. If something else turns up later, it probably won't matter.

Someone I know found a life insurance policy she didn't know her husband had. No compensation, but at least a good surprise.

Best wishes from me as well

Yes, it doesn't matter if anything small is missed - it is nearly four years since my dad died, and my mum got a letter last month to say that a little nest egg had been found. I had notified the company at the time, but for some reason they didn't send us any forms so didn't do anything about it (and we didn't know that they should have sent us forms, so we didn't do anything about it either). They have now sent us the forms, so hopefully they will process everything correctly this time No compensation but a good surprise indeed.

Well still coming to terms..and hoping that everything that needs dealing with has been dealt with.

I have put off dealing with the physical stuff like sorting clothes etc.By tacit agreement I and my son (who lives with me) have decided that can wait until the new year.Getting through Christmas will be the really difficult next step. After that we will be trying to move on.

I believe the recommendation is not to make any hasty decisions. You can always throw stuff away later - you can't get it back if gone too soon. My Mum kept my Dad's cap & gloves in her cloakroom.
The difficulty is when one resident feels the need to clear out, the other feels the need to keep everything. (Happened to friends who lost their daughter.)

Hope you can devise a Christmas that is different & not too sad. Little by little you will learn to live with the new situation. Very best wishes.

No point in hanging onto clothes/shoes that fit no one in the house.Otherwise time will be taken in the clear out.Mind I see no point in hanging onto the 7 suitcases.I'm not likely to be needing them.

Christmas day and lunch will be a quiet one.My son will be in charge of the menu and cooking.The days when we used to travel halfway across the country to relatives are long gone.
There will be plenty of

I got the first Christmas card today.Addressed to both of us..from an old shipmate of my husband.Someone I had completely forgotten about because communication had become the once a year Christmas card.

Hopefully he will pass the word to other ex-naval friends that because I mislaid the address book I hadn't informed.

The thought of Christmas cards has pushed me back down into depression again.A reminder that sorrow and grief is not a steady process.

Not a steady process indeed. . . Thinking of you

Indeed. There are all sorts of random events that spark all the feelings again. The whole first year is a time of 'firsts' that are difficult.

Thank you both..

Not looking forward to this festive season but I shall try and put a brave face on so that my daughter,son and I can begin to move forward.

You're all entitled to grieve, especially you. Please don't force yourself to behave in a way if you don't feel like it. Sometimes Christmas can be a time for nostalgia, it's appropriate for you to be feeling sad this year. Future years will be different, you will start to remember and smile.

Why is there this feeling of obligation that we should all feel jolly & make merry at Christmas? We often have a toast to absent friends & loved ones and have a sad reflective moment. But then, our Christmases these days are always pretty low key.

You will move forward, but take it at the pace your emotions dictate.

Well my son and myself managed to to quietly celebrate the season.We didn't get too sad and we remembered some of the better and positives of having known and loved William.Family kept in touch and helped us to remember him with love and fondness.

Just feel sad that his local British Legion and pub friends apart from one forgot to even post a card through the front door.