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A87728007 - Feluda Films - II

Post 1

BENGAL TIGER (Kaushik)

Entry: Feluda Films - II - A87728007
Author: BENGAL TIGER (Kaushik) - U10873021

This is a sequel to my previous entry, "Feluda Films by Satyajit Ray".


A87728007 - Feluda Films - II

Post 2

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

I have never heard about these films or the writer/director. I find it very good to see more Entries about non British topics here on h2g2, so thank you for writing this. smiley - smiley

I will comment as I read this.

First of all I would change the first header 'Prologue' to something that sounds more interesting and actually describes what this section is about.
Just like the title of this Entry (even if it is part 2) should give us a hint about what 'Feluda Films' actually are. You could add a subtitle with a -

I would remove footnote 1 and add the link at the bottom of the Entry saying something like 'if you now want to read some Feluda stories in English you can visit website xyz...'

The first sentence of the 2nd paragraph is a bit long and confusing. Maybe try to break it up into 2 sentences or even 3, whatever works.

In which years did he publish the stories in the periodical?

4th paragraph:
What do you mean with 'a new Tophse'? A new actor? A whole new character? You never mention 'Parambrata' before. I guess he was the actor? Please make this clear as it is the first time in this Entry that you mention him. Otherwise just don't mention him by name at all and just say 'the previous actor for the role of Topshe' or something.

I find it confusing that you call the actor who played Feluda sometimes Sabyasachi and sometimes Chakraborty. And what has him being a photographer to do with it all? Either remove this sentence or tell us why his hobby is relevant for the Feluda films.

'Bibhu Bhattacharya breathed his last in September 2011'
You mean the actor actually died?

For my taste you kind of 'overuse' the word 'sleuth'. You could just plainly say 'detective' for a change? But maybe a native English speaker can comment on this.

'A new Feluda and the Byomkesh Bakshi strife':
I think this whole section has too much information about non-Feluda films and personally I don't find it very interesting who played whom in a different series of stories. To put it very bluntly you could cut out 3-4 paragraphs of this and jsut say 'many of the actors present in Feluda films also played roles in other famous Indian detective stories' or something like that. All the dates and names are jsut too much.

'Return of Sabyasachi':
'The search for a new Feluda resumed. It was not an easy task as Ray had to keep in mind illustrations and descriptions of the character sketched by Satyajit Ray himself, in his mind. '
This sounds very strange.

At the very bottom of the Entry you mention a web series but don't give us a link to it. Is that the same as in footnote 1? If so remove footnote 1 and add the link here.

Throughout your Entry you mention the original names of the stories and then say 'also known as' and then say the English name. This sounds strange as it makes the impression that it is not a translation but a completely different title. You could just add the English titles in brackets after mentioning the original ones.


A87728007 - Feluda Films - II

Post 3

Dmitri Gheorgheni

This is very interesting. smiley - smiley

I agree with Tavaron's suggestions. I think they will make the entry much clearer.

It might be good if you explain just a little about Bengali films. Are these films musicals, like Bollywood films? smiley - bigeyes


A87728007 - Feluda Films - II

Post 4

BENGAL TIGER (Kaushik)

Thanks Tavaron for your vigilance. It's great that you took the pain to carefully go through the entry in detail.
I will make the changes as u suggested, and get back to you..

smiley - smileysmiley - smiley


A87728007 - Feluda Films - II

Post 5

BENGAL TIGER (Kaushik)

Thanks Dmitri for your suggestions too. Will make changes and confirm once done. smiley - smileysmiley - smiley


A87728007 - Feluda Films - II

Post 6

Bluebottle

I'll have a read through and make some comments and suggestions about the Prologue section of this entry, if I may? The first thought is that it would benefit from being split up, either into more paragraphs or possibly a new header each time there's a new film mentioned?

You've said that Ray is also the exceptional writer of Professor Shanku and Tarini Khuro and also wrote short stories of other genres – what genre are Professor Shanku and Tarini Khuro? Detective fiction like Feluda?

You say 'so it was for Haradhan Bannerjee as Sidhu-jaatha. Yes, this was the first time an actor played this role in more than just one Feluda film' but this is the first time either name appears in this article. If I read your first Feluda entry I can see you say there 'Speaking of Haradhan Bannerjee, he is one actor who has acted in four Feluda movies. He appeared in Sonar Kella as Topshe's father, then in Joi Baba Felunath as Umanath Ghosal; again in Baksa Rahasya as Dinanath Lahiri, Feluda's client — both in the audio and film versions of the story. As previously mentioned, we see him back in the Feluda movie Kailase Kelenkari as Sidhu-jatha.' but not everyone who reads this will have read your first entry so would you be able to add an explanation here?

I look forward to reading more again soon.

<BB<


A87728007 - Feluda Films - II

Post 7

BENGAL TIGER (Kaushik)

Thanks, Bluebottle for your suggestions. I had actually written this more as a sequel to the first entry, assuming whoever reads this would have read the first one already. But yes I agree that might not be the case with most. I will make the necessary changes and confirm once done. smiley - smileysmiley - smiley

Regards

BT (Kaushik)


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A87728007 - Feluda Films - II

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