A Conversation for Peer Review

A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film - A87906360
Author: Whitebottle - U43530

Back before Christmas.

<BB<


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film

Post 2

Bluebottle

Footnote about the Jim Henson Creature Shop added.

<BB<


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film

Post 3

SashaQ - happysad

Reading this with fresher eyes than what I had before Christmas, the introduction is very good, especially the mention of the maxim smiley - ok

The Plot section still makes me want to bang ye olde wordcount drum smiley - drumroll from before Christmas, though, sorry - if you'd like me to do another readthrough I will, but if you don't that's fine smiley - ok


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film

Post 4

Bluebottle

I've tweaked the plot to make it 20% shorter.

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A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film

Post 5

SashaQ - happysad

smiley - ok


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 6

Bluebottle

Happy Birthday The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film!
This has been back in Peer Review for a year!smiley - gift

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A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 7

Gnomon - time to move on

Hi Bluebottle.

Not much wrong with this now smiley - smiley so I'll point out a few typos

1st line: The Lion, The Witch -- should have lowercase t on 'the Witch'

Mrs McCready --> Mrs Macready
Elizabeth Hawthone --> Elizabeth Hawthorne

Elizabeth Hawthone who plays Mrs Macready is, as is readily apparent, not British

-- I think this would be better if you moved the first "is":

Elizabeth Hawthorne who plays Mrs Macready, as is readily apparent, is not British

it is Susan who saves Edmund by killing by the dwarf -- I don't understand this and think it is a mistake. SHould it be:

it is Susan who saves Edmund by killing the dwarf

or

it is Susan who saves Edmund from being killed by the dwarf


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 8

Bluebottle

Thanks as always for your fine-tooth combed comments and contributions, I've made those tweaks now. smiley - biggrin

<BB<


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 9

summerbayexile

Hi BB,

Very good entry. Perhaps you could mention a bit about Skandar Keynes family as he is related to both the Economist John Maynard Keynes and, more distantly, Charles Darwin. Also, Georgie Henley was cast in the pilot for the recently scrapped prequel to Game of Thrones - another royal reference! Finally, with my English teacher's hat on, in the Elizabeth Hawthorne paragraph, however should be the start of a new sentence, gramatically speaking. If you want to keep it to one sentence you need to replace however with although.


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 10

Bluebottle

Excellent contributions! 'However', however, has been changed to 'although', although I've also added those little golden nuggets to the entry.

<BB<


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 11

summerbayexile

Love the way you've included the Skandar Keynes references!! smiley - biggrinsmiley - biggrinsmiley - applausesmiley - applause


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 12

Gnomon - time to move on

I've given up trying to get you or anyone else to use "however" correctly. If you want me to start pointing it out again, I will do so.


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 13

Bluebottle

If you point them out I'll happily change them, but that would surely be going beyond the call of duty?

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A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 14

Gnomon - time to move on

In 2019 Georgie Henley was cast in an unknown but major role in a Game of Thrones spin-off pilot titled Blood Moon, however this did not proceed to a full series.
-->
In 2019 Georgie Henley was cast in an unknown but major role in a Game of Thrones spin-off pilot titled Blood Moon, but this did not proceed to a full series.

spending his career alongside talking animals is unknown, however Skandar's great-great uncle, Depression-era economist John Maynard Keynes, would have been surprised
-->
spending his career alongside talking animals is unknown. Skandar's great-great-uncle, Depression-era economist John Maynard Keynes, however, would have been surprised


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 15

Bluebottle

Thanks, tweaked now.

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A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 16

Gnomon - time to move on

Just reading the last paragraph again:

Although visually he appears realistic, Aslan remains a very computer-generated lion and is not a solid, tactile presence. This impacts on the story as when he leaves camp to be sacrificed, his death has less impact than Gandalf's similar sacrifice in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring as he had only just been introduced.

You seem to be saying "Because Aslan is computer generated, his death has less impact than that of Gandalf, because he had only just been introduced".

So which is it, the fact that he doesn't look real or the fact that you haven't got to know him yet, or both?


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 17

Bluebottle

smiley - laughYou're right, that is a bit of gibberish, so I've rephrased that paragraph. And it was also a bit of a poor ending so I've changed the order slightly to make the ending more upbeat.

<BB<


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 18

Gnomon - time to move on

I think this is ripe for picking now. All we need is a scout.


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 19

h2g2 Guide Editors

We don't like Turkish Delight, but might be tempted for Hot Chocolate smiley - choc... smiley - snowball

A couple of points to check:

"His best friend was killed in the trenches and he spent the rest of his life taking care of his friend's mother as if she were his own." - Did his friend's mother outlive him?

"Lucy runs to the Professor, who believes that Narnia is real. " "the professor at first appears sceptical about the existence of a magical land " - how do these sentences fit together?


A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film [Inactive]

Post 20

You can call me TC

Well-rounded and interesting to boot.

Ray Winstone's name is spelt once with and once without an "e". I think it should have the "e".

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0935653/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0


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A87906360 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film

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