A Conversation for Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Peer Review: A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 1

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

Entry: Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter - A12180313
Author: Galaxy Babe - Scout/ACE - U128652

Resubmission now I have addressed the points in the previous PR thread: F4440326?thread=3113252

Submitted 5 June


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 2

Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail

smiley - biggrin glad to see this back in, and as good as ever


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 3

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - smooch

Thank you, I hope it's improvedsmiley - winkeye


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 4

Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail

I thought it was good anyway, but yes it is better smiley - biggrin


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 5

Skankyrich [?]

Shame you can't work the same smiley - magic with the woman herself, really smiley - smiley


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 6

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - flan

smiley - tickle

smiley - run


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 7

U168592

Nice one, does the "lady" justice. smiley - smiley


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 8

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - ta

I'm beginning to wonder where her fans are...smiley - tongueincheek


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 9

U168592

smiley - rofl

Oh my...

smiley - wah

Oh, ah.

smiley - laugh

Nice link to Butterflies smiley - tongueout


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 10

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

D'ya think I'd have missed that opportunity?

smiley - orangebutterfly


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 11

U168592

Does she have one tattooed on her ample bum?


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 12

There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho

"Mariah Carey was born... Mariah's parents divorced when she was just... Mariah's mother Patricia Hickey... Mariah was singing on stage... Mariah attended Oldfield Middle School... Mariah's early jobs... Mariah's astonishing five octave... Mariah's 1990 debut single... Mariah was just 20 years old"

And that's just from one section (Early Discovery). There are 52 instances of 'Mariah/Mariah's' in the entry, not counting her name following the quote at the end of the entry. The name is superfluous because you announce the quote with "Finally, a few words from the golden girl herself". A quote only needs one attribution.

That tells me two things - some of the sentences could be merged, and some instances of 'Mariah' could be changed to 'she' or 'her' or some other description. If you use someone's name so many times and - in some cases - so close together when a personal pronoun would do, it can easily come across as sycophantic.

plummetting - plummeting

"Mariah support the fight against AIDS"
'Mariah supports the fight against AIDS'


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 13

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

Was there anything you liked about the entry BH?


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 14

There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho

Probably, but I'm not at all keen on the subject matter so I'm not reading it too deeply.


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 15

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

Updatedsmiley - biro


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 16

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

I hope Jimster notices that I haven't talked about Mariah's sex-life.
smiley - smiley


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 17

Skankyrich [?]

I'd rather not know, to be honest smiley - tongueout


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 18

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

Yes, that's why I left it outsmiley - winkeye

smiley - laugh


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 19

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

I've noticed that Mariah keeps popping up when I load my Yahoo email. Asking me to listen to her latest single.smiley - erm

Any other comments on the entry?


A12180313 - Mariah Carey - singer/songwriter

Post 20

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

I wonder who buys her records if she has no fans...smiley - erm


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