h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

the meaning of life is obscure
Too true, you can never be sure

the meaning of life is obscure
Too true, you can never be sure
What tomorrow may bring

the meaning of life is obscure
Too true, you can never be sure
What tomorrow may bring

it's a worrying thing

the meaning of life is obscure
Too true, you can never be sure
What tomorrow may bring
it's a worrying thing
But something we have to endure.


I'm cooking a toad in the hole

I'm cooking a toad in the hole
It's tastier than toasted vole

I'm cooking a toad in the hole
It's tastier than toasted vole
And then spotted dick

I'm cooking a toad in the hole
It's tastier than toasted vole
And then spotted dick
Which you really can't lick

I'm cooking a toad in the hole
It's tastier than toasted vole
And then spotted dick
Which you really can't lick
Then I made myself sick with a roll.


I wish I could be hygroscopic

I wish I could be hygroscopic
Hygroscopicity's a strange topic

I wish I could be hygroscopic
Hygroscopicity's a strange topic
Yes, but if you get wet,

I wish I could be hygroscopic
Hygroscopicity's a strange topic
Yes, but if you get wet,
Have a damp cigarette

I wish I could be hygroscopic
Hygroscopicity's a strange topic
Yes, but if you get wet,
Have a damp cigarette
But then you can't smoke it, but sop it.


Denial is a river in Egypt,

Denial is a river in Egypt
That looks o'er temples, where worshipped

Denial is a river in Egypt
That looks o'er temples, where worshipped
It's also refusal

Denial is a river in Egypt
That looks o'er temples, where worshipped
It's also refusal
To believe in what's usual

Denial is a river in Egypt
That looks o'er temples, where worshipped
It's also refusal
To believe in what's usual
And I'm waiting for a tickle, she quipped.



Oh where can that tickle be hiding?

Oh where can that tickle be hiding?
He's probably just backsliding

Oh where can that tickle be hiding?
He's probably just backsliding
Down a slide in the park

Oh where can that tickle be hiding?
He's probably just backsliding
Down a slide in the park
Where he glows in the dark

Oh where can that tickle be hiding?
He's probably just backsliding
Down a slide in the park
Where he glows in the dark
From the static that's electrifying.


I do wish they'd make phones more heavy,