h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A con-man who hailed from Quebec
Was trying to pass a dud cheque

A con-man who hailed from Quebec
Was trying to pass a dud cheque
He signed with a flourish

A con-man who hailed from Quebec
Was trying to pass a dud cheque
He signed with a flourish
"U.R.Al-Rubbish"

A con-man who hailed from Quebec
Was trying to pass a dud cheque
He signed with a flourish
"U.R.Al-Rubbish"
Then brushed away an invisible speck.


A morris dancer on May morning

A morris dancer on May morning
Fell over and died without warning

A morris dancer on May morning
Fell over and died without warning
He was waving hs hankie

A morris dancer on May morning
Fell over and died without warning
He was waving his hankie
At Vikram Solanki

A morris dancer on May morning
Fell over and died without warning
He was waving his hankie
At Vikram Solanki
Who painted his bails black in mourning


Tho' Morris Dancing and Incest's forbidden

Tho' Morris Dancing and Incest's forbidden
It's wiser to keep skeletons hidden

Morning jane, how's the weather with you this morning?


Tho' Morris Dancing and Incest's forbidden
It's wiser to keep skeletons hidden
Lest an embarassing slip

Tho' Morris Dancing and Incest's forbidden
It's wiser to keep skeletons hidden
Lest an embarassing slip
Like an unfastened zip

'Evening, Thut - it's been a gloriously sunny day here in N.Germany.




Tho' Morris Dancing and Incest's forbidden
It's wiser to keep skeletons hidden
Lest an embarassing slip
Like an unfastened zip
Means they'll chuck you head-first in the midden.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@q


May's the month of romance, so they say

May's the month of romance, so they say
When the boys and girls come out to play

May's the month of romance, so they say
When the boys and girls come out to play

They gambol and frolic

May's the month of romance, so they say
When the boys and girls come out to play
They gambol and frolic
In settings bucolic

May's the month of romance, so they say
When the boys and girls come out to play
They gambol and frolic
In settings bucolic
And find many ways to make hay

*************************************

So Boris will now get his chance

[Hi there, Penny - hope life's treating you well]



So Boris will now get his chance
To lead Londoners a right dance

So Boris will now get his chance
To lead Londoners a right dance
Will't be the Lambeth Walk?

So Boris will now get his chance
To lead Londoners a right dance
Will't be the Lambeth Walk?
The Rumba'll make 'em talk

So Boris will now get his chance
To lead Londoners a right dance
Will't be the Lambeth Walk?
The Rumba'll make 'em talk
But I'll bet it's a short romance.


When the candle burns at both ends