h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Harpists definitely exist.

I've been harpist every night since I was 16.

B

Harpito ergo sum?

8. Bolivians

Nobody in the entire modern-day world can be as sensible as this http://www.naturalnews.com/040752_Bolivia_McDonalds_restaurants_fast_food.html

I don't recommend reading the last paragraph if you've just eaten, are about to eat, or have ever eaten at a McDonalds. I know I have

Natural News always twigs my skepticism.

But yeah, McDonalds left Bolivia... in 2002. And much of the reason seems to be cultural. The locals just don't like the idea of packaged foods, but also, McDonalds was EXPENSIVE. A meal at Mickey D's cost up to three times as much as local restaurants. Why spend more to eat something that doesn't taste as good as local food?

Apparently there's a new documentary out about the story hence the recent news about it.

Anyway, I didn't need to read an article to know that McRibs are some artificial Frankenfood.

9. Vegan cricketers

I heard them mention on Test Match Special this morning that Aussie bowler Peter Siddle is a vegan. No animal products eaten, worn or used. But a cricket ball is covered in leather.

He hates dead animal products so much he hurls them from him as fast as he can?

10. Potato soup.

It's just runny mashed potatoes. QED.

Or a pretty crap stew.

Heh... My mother makes a soup that breaks two of your rules... It's a cheese/potato soup. (It's also got chicken, celery and onions in it as well.)

Oh, I should specify that it has small cubes of potato in it as well.

Cheese and potato soup... isn't that what the Swiss call fondue?

I dunno... I have never met any Swiss around Sunny San Leon or Bacliff. But no. It's definitely not fondue. My mother's soup is a soup. It doesn't need melting. It is cheesy... It is potatoey... It isn't a thick soup.

I'll agree with you that it is NOT a cheese soup, but it is a cheesy potato soup.

And it does not resemble mashed potatoes at all.


(It could use some leeks.)

Ah, now leek and potato soup is a favourite of mine, leastways when organic leeks aren't as expensive as they are right now. But this evening I've embarked on a new soupy project - the quest for the ultimate tomato soup. First attempt - a bit bland. Needs vinegar.

I subscribe to the Jamie Oliver (curse him!) school of tomato soup.

Tomatoes in baking vessel. Squeeze over plenty of garlic and throw in a deseeded chilli of choice. Drizzle with plenty of good olive oil and season generously. Roast for ~20 minutes.

Meanwhile, gently fry red onion until soft. Throw in a few tablespoons of balsamic vinegar and reduce. Chuck in the whole contents of the tomato tray. Heat, blitz, stir in creme fraiche and basil.

B

That's definitely a bit more involved than what I tried yesterday but I might incorporate some or all of it. I'm trying different combinations of spices, herbs, vinegars etc and keeping notes.

Naturally I can't share them because this might eventually make me that fortune I've been chasing all my life

11. The Daily Mail

Bear with me. Loathe as I am to continue the hoo-hah, I have a serious point to make.

Most, if not everyone, reading this will probably agree that the content of the Mail is puerile, facile, childish and thoroughly objectionable. A lot of it also blatantly false and made up. Even before the current row about Ed Miliband's dad it was reviled for its content, its bile, its vitriol.

Given that it's so Bob-awful and patently barking mad, you have to wonder about the people who read it. Can anyone be so equally barking mad as to read, enjoy, even believe that stuff? I don't know what the Mail's circulation figures are but it's touted as one of Britain's most popular newspapers.

If the content is so arguably insane, doesn't that make the paper's readers just as insane? Surely no-one can, in all honesty, swallow what it has to say. And yet the country's insane asylums aren't filled with Mail-reading lunatics, and insane asylums aren't its sole places of delivery.

Therefore, if the content is so mad, and if the asylums aren't loaded with its readers, common sense and reason suggests that its readers can't possibly exist because no-one can be that barking and still be allowed to walk the streets. If its readers don't exist, it doesn't exist either.

It's the only explanation.

If only.

But just like Faux news here, it serves as an echo chamber for those that want their news to confirm their biases, to give them just enough of "both" sides to have a coherent sounding argument at the bar (that simply consists of loud talking points and it's a bonus if it belittles everyone else who disagrees.

Oh, Plus! Daily Fail contains whacky human (or bestial) interest stories... they may not be TRUE, but they get a LOT of other media to cite them.

Stuff like, "Militant Anti-Smoking Group Blamed After TRICK CIGAR BLOWS MAN'S HEAD OFF!"*






*That was an actual headline I clipped from a late 80's copy of Weekly World News, but I would NOT be surprised if the story was sourced by the Daily Fail. I see lots of similar stories in the News of the Weird. http://www.newsoftheweird.com

Gee, I haven't read News of the Weird in AGES! Used to love it... actually there may even be a link on my homepage - there used to be. But it's been years since I've actually read it. Now I have something to do this afternoon! Thanks, BG!

Just be sure to note the sources.