A Conversation for Ask h2g2

Dislocated punch lines?

Post 1

clzoomer- a bit woobly

An old friend of mine and I used to make up punch lines to jokes that didn't exist. My favourite was:

"Pick the bottle up? She can pull out the cork!"

Any others come to mind?


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 2

~ jwf ~ scribblo ergo sum

smiley - bigeyes

"English? Oh, I just thought she was dead."


smiley - nur
~jwf~


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 3

Effers;England.


"And she can stuff it in again...even sideways...'


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 4

clzoomer- a bit woobly

"All I did was put my hand.....look, there goes another one!"


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 5

swl

Pardon me, Roy! Is that the cat who ate your new shoes?


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 6

Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge")


"It's all right, I'm on me bike"


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 7

atinythorn

Careful your Holiness, It's still hot!


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 8

clzoomer- a bit woobly

.....and then he told me how he knew about the mole.


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 9

atinythorn

...and what hadn't already fell out, just trickled down his leg.


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 10

toybox

Two: one in the nose, and one for the rabbit.


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 11

clzoomer- a bit woobly

And the moral is, don't tell a troll how to cook lunch on top of the bridge.


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 12

2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side...

which is when he discovered the horse... smiley - huhsmiley - pony
and she banged her head on the ceiling with her finger. smiley - ermsmiley - run


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 13

clzoomer- a bit woobly

Then he said "How long have you believed in genies?".


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 14

swl

Hans that do dishes can be as soft as Gervais, with vile green hairy lipped squid


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 15

Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic.

"said the bartender: "That's not a duck!"


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 16

~ jwf ~ scribblo ergo sum

From Coronation Street:

"Me? Pro-active? I'm a woman Marcus not a yoghurt!"

smiley - rofl

~jwf~


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 17

~ jwf ~ scribblo ergo sum

smiley - biggrin

"No, I'm Carl from Accounting, I've worked here for years!"

smiley - biggrin
~jwf~


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 18

Pink Paisley

Sorry SWL. Disqualified.



Exists in jokeworld and is one of my favourites of ALL time.

Actually it is 'Pardon me, Roy! Is that the cat who CHEWED your new shoes?'

PP


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 19

clzoomer- a bit woobly

Several violations, actually but all in good fun!

smiley - laugh

'But if I put it there, won't Uncle Fred be upset?'


(This is dangerously close to becoming another Non Sequitur thread.)


Dislocated punch lines?

Post 20

~ jwf ~ scribblo ergo sum

smiley - laugh
A geologist and a geophysicist walk into a bar together.
smiley - rofl

smiley - popcorn

smiley - bigeyes
>> (This is dangerously close to becoming another
Non Sequitur thread.)<<

The difference here is that the poster does know
what the backstory is. By definition a 'non sequitur'
has 'no continuity'.

Like my line above will be hilarious to anyone who
understands the shism, nay the chasm, that exists
between those two apparently similar occupations.
It's worse than lighting versus sound guys, beyond
disruptive and counter-productive, it gets personal;
they would not socialize or be seen in a bar together.

smiley - cheers
~jwf~


Key: Complain about this post

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more