A Conversation for Ask h2g2

funny quotes

Post 81

Zax Mowpow

Anyone else have any good Groucho Marx quotes?

"Better to stay quiet and have some people consider you an idiot, than to open it and remove all doubt."
-Mark Twain


funny quotes

Post 82


I believe that Dan Rathers once said, "Americans will put up with anything, as long as it doesn't block traffic."


Post 83

Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic.

This post has been removed.

funny quotes

Post 84

The Groob

My favourite quote from 2003 was from David Gest about his ex wife Liza Minelli:

"I'd give up all my Shirley Temple dolls to have her back!"

funny quotes

Post 85

Mad - I need a holiday, very seriously...

just to let u all know the mark twain quote is wrong, its actually 'its better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt' sorry but i had to point that out.
my fav quote is 'Life's too short to stuff a mushroom' cant remember who said it tho.

funny quotes

Post 86

Terry Teadreg

As a motto in a book I recently read (but can't remember the title of) was a quote from a Sumerian (i.e. 2500 years old) clay tablet:

"Superstition brings bad luck"

funny quotes

Post 87

Gnomon - time to move on

If it was Sumerian, 2500 years old seems a bit young! It is more likely to be 4500 years old.

funny quotes

Post 88

Wand'rin star

"Life's too short to stuff a mushroom" is from Shirley Conran in her how-to book 'Superwoman'- sometime in the 60s smiley - starsmiley - star

funny quotes

Post 89


smiley - smiley

funny quotes

Post 90

The Groob

"I think he has lost the plot"

(David Icke on Robert Kilroy-Silk.)

funny quotes

Post 91


homer simpson always comes out with classic quotes:

"if god had wanted us to fly he would've built the airports closer to cities"

...with the family in a runaway car,marge:"homer you're gonna kill us all".homer:"or die trying"

anyone else come up with more homerismssmiley - biggrin

funny quotes

Post 92

The Groob

"When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

Mariah Carey.

Craig David

Post 93

The Groob

Interviewer: Who, in your opinion, is the greatest living Englishman?

Craig David: Er, Winston Churchill

Interviewer: What is your favourite Beatles' song?

Craig David: That one that goes "hey hey we're the monkees"

Craig David

Post 94

A Super Furry Animal

Craig David: "Cra-a-a-i-i-i-g David!"

Cracks me up every time.

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