h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's OK Teasswill, 'Winnich' sounds suitably Scottish- a bit more shouty perhaps, but I could live with it

May be Winnoch I did not make myself absolutely clear. I feel sorry for you as I do for all people who state they have nothing to believe in' simply because those souls have no idea how great life can be.
had you read my posting you may have noticed that my soulmate is female not male and that we are both quite old. I would guess your opinions come from someone who is fairly young, bearing mind 40 is young to me and that some really bad stuff has happened to make you feel you have no soul mate. If sentiment such as as sorrow for another's unhappiness is wishy washy then that makes me even more sad for you. If my wife dies there is no place in this life where I could be at peace. For she is my soul mate. We met before time began and will be together after this life finishes.

I'm happy that you have that kind of love in your life but it is so rare that it just heaps unrealistic expectations on people.
They think love is a fairytale and look for perfection.
The truth is for many people relationships don't come so easily and those of us who are simply happy alone or in relationships that are not with soulmates are not objects of pity.

I don't believe in one true soulmate but I do think that there are kindred spirits and lots of soulmates. People that we really click with.

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I have recently met (last year) one of my soulmates and it is truly fascinating. And it has nothing to do with reproducing. I can't anymore (out of choice).

Alex

I'm with the naysayers. Why should there only be one? Must there necessarily be one at all?

I also find the word 'soulmate' makes me cringe.

I never - EVER - thought I would find someone who completed me entirely.

Not that I was losing any pieces, it's just a phrase.

Strangely, I found that it was a woman who filled this role. Primarly, as I am not attracted to women, I found this difficult to comprehend at first.

I love my life partner more than anything. I would do anything for her (if I can and believe in the rationale) and she would for me.

We understand the reasons behind our actions and the factors behind the decision.

Even when my partner was thinking of going to move to Wales, I was very understanding and not disappointed, angry or upset. I realised and rationalised the reasons behind the move and was so proud and pleased that we'd been able to discuss the matter as opposed to keeping quiet and just "getting on with it".

Our male sexual partners do not encroach upon our own relationship and I am not bisexual in the slightest. Our love is purest because there is no expectation, obligation or rebuttal. There is no dependance upon horizontal factors as one of the main subjects of our conjoinment. The entire situation is based upon mutual love and respect.

I try hard, nearly every day, to try to explain our non-relationship relationship to others and I fail miserably. It just works. And if it's not broken, why try to fix it?

How interesting. I took a look at your Personal Space too, Chubster, and saw that you are not a straight woman, as I had assumed, (my bad), but a gay man.

Some relationships cannot be explained, just experienced.

Actually, I think no relationship can be explained, and all have to be experienced, but because some appear to conform to known patterns, we think we can explain them.

Ben

>>Actually, I think no relationship can be explained, and all have to be experienced, but because some appear to conform to known patterns, we think we can explain them.<<

Here here!

You can't help falling in love with someone - regardless of gender/sexuality.

Look at Tom Robinson for example!

Blimey - I haven't looked at Tom Robinson for years! He did a gig for the GaySoc about 5 million years ago when I was at Uni. I was too young and unformed to appreciate it at the time.

B

I only ever liked "War Baby".

and 2-4-6-8 just gets on my nerves (especially when it's regarded as a 'classic driving track'.

Yeah, like "Can The Can" is the ultimate anti-love love song.

So it take it you don't mean soulmate as in "mental twin" then. But I also would be having a problem with the idea that there is only one person who is right for everybody. What if they die in a traffic accident before you get to meet them? Does someone ensure that people only die in pairs?

"What if they die in a traffic accident before you get to meet them? Does someone ensure that people only die in pairs?"

An excellent example of what happens when you begin to analyse the wooley thinking that is behind many popular concepts.

Like life after death and ghosts for example. Can anyone answer me this one- Your father breaks his hip in his twenties and walks with a bad limp for the rest of his life. He loses an arm in his forties, he gets altzheimers in his 60's and dies.

If there's life after death and your father visits you as a ghost, what condition will he be in? What age will he be? Most people assume ghosts come back as they were just before they died- would a ghost come back with brain damage, or would that miraculously have been reversed- even though he died with most of his functions and memories gone- are all these brain functions stored in some sort of 'backup' in the 'soul'?

Would his arm have returned? Would he still have a limp?

The point is if you believe in life after death, or one true soulmate, it's pretty much like those people who flit from one religion to another trying to find one that 'fits'. You are simply inventing the world as you would like it to be. Wishful thinking. Self forfilling prophesies. You see the world as you want it to be, but unfortunately, back in the land of reality, the mundane truth is that we are all leading truly random lives- absolutely *anything* could happen at any minute.

Nothing is 'meant to be' Just exactly how random and unexpected do you think Lockerbie was for the man in his kitchen peeling a carrot when a jet engine lands on his house and instantly vaporises him, his kitchen and the carrot?

I suppose as xantic pointed out, if he hadn't already met his soulmate, she also died elswhere at about the same time, as for her to fall in love with someone else would destroy the fabric of the universe, as the wishful thinkers amongst as know it...

Ghosts are normally (I think) those who have died in certain circumstances and their souls haven't left the earth. There are countless tales of headless ghosts and those with other deformities. In fact, if the Alzheimer's was there (for example - and for that fact any other mental issues), one could charge that this is why there is a distinct lack of communication ability hence the ghost seems 'dormant'.

I believe there is a lot in the concept of there being a time cross-over at the point where the ghost *haunts*, as if our present is somehow streamed with past and future events, thus figures are seen.

Moreover, sometimes the headless or semi-viewable ghosts can be explained by the fact that the roof of that room is lower now than it was or the floor was higher, etc.

I don't agree in a 'mental twin'. The concept seems impossible. I do, however, feel that a soulmate (and I hate the phrase) is possible to have and, indeed, find.

I wouldn't dispute that some people are 'soulmates' for each other & it need not be a sexual relationship. But I don't believe there is just one person out there for each of us. Actually I rather pity those who are so wrapped up in their partner that they feel life would have no meaning without them. Much as I'd like to be that close to someone, I'd rather be able to be self sufficient.

As I don't believe ghosts exist other than inside our brains, I won't comment on the nature of them!

In reply to Teasswill

I agree - My soulmate and I are completely self-sufficient. I've always seen our relationship as spheres which engage at significant points and cover most of each other. However, there are parts which are filled with others for parts of our lives where a "significant other" wouldn't fit.

I hate the thought of that "My partner is my best friend" ethos. If your partner really *is* your best friend, it must be a bastard! In whom do you confide your secrets, worries and thoughts if your beloved is your best mate? A 2nd-best mate? Nah - keep your friends and love(r)s separate...

I'm sure I read somewhere that it's healthier to have a circle of close friends (as opposed to one or two). I wonder if those with their 'one true soulmate' also have such a circle? Kif?

Certainly I've come across couples who do everything together - they have friends, but only as a pair. When one of the pair dies, the other has great difficulty in functioning.

I can understand that those with a soulmate wouldn't want life any different. That's perhaps similar to the consideration of 'is it better to have loved & lost than never to have loved at all'.

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I have a great circle of friends and family. And his gorgeousness lives 60 miles from me.

Alex