h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, not exactly, but I needed a catchy title. Basically my problem is this: I've recently met a great guy who I really want to see more of...not necessarily date (at least not at first), but definitely get to know better. The problem is, I have absolutely no idea how I can manage to see him again. There's not much chance of it happening by accident, since he lives across campus and we aren't involved in any of the same things despite our common interests. We met in the first place through a mutual acquaintance, from whom I could get his phone number if I wanted to, but I can't come up with any kind of pretext for calling him since we barely know each other. He did, last time I saw him (which was over a month ago), say something about calling me and a friend of mine to read us this poem he'd written, and he still hasn't called either of us, but to me that definitely doesn't seem like enough of an excuse to call him.

Does anybody think otherwise, or can anyone think of another excuse for me to call this guy or persuade our mutual acquaintance to get in touch with him?

I'd play it really cool. Chasing a chap and obtaining his number from a third party is absolutely not on. I suspect he'll either think you're easy or run a mile. If I were you, I'd find out the places he frequents and find exuses to be there and not alone if possible - with a girl friend or someone. Good luck.

I agree. Using third parties can escalate into "Tell him I said this," or "Tell her I said that." You must blaze such trails on your own, or not at all.

Guys in America like girls to ask them out; and they rarely play hard-to-get. But I can't help but be curious if this is the case outside America.

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Living in the U.K., I've found that chaps don't mind being asked out but it really depends on the type of male in question as they vary so much (intelectual/football & lager/nice guy/occasionally a balanced mix of all three). However, things may have changed since my dating days which were over about 20 years ago but chasing a chap was definitely frowned upon - not "cool". Its much better to employ female hunting/stalking techniques and not let the prey in question realise he's the focus of attention until it's too late and he's been snared! (Heh, heh!)

Alternatively, being just friendly always comes up trumps and if something further developes then all well and good... I've usually found this has been my most frequent entrance to a relationship, including my marriage to the best chap and best friend a girl could have. (All say aahhh!)

Problem is, I can't find out the places he frequents if I never see or hear from him. It's sort of a catch-22.

Well, when it comes to using a third party, all I really thought of doing was getting said third party to invite him back--not to tell him anything about me. The idea was just to get him to come around sometime.

I hadn't planned on going so far as to ask him out--definitely not yet, anyway. Being "just friendly" was my intention, with the only problem being how to even get near him in order to do so. If I could somehow manage to get together some kind of group activity that had him in it, that would be perfect. Casual, no pressure on either of us, just a chance to get to know each other a little better.

Can't you descretely find out through his/your mutual friend where he hangs out without sounding too interested?

I don't think our m.f. knows where he hangs out. They're old acquaintances who are still friendly but don't see each other much and aren't really in touch. They got together a couple of times a month or two ago, but since then they haven't been in contact as far as I know. I have considered just asking casually "Say, have you heard from so-and-so lately?" just to find out if he has and if he hasn't, maybe subtly plant the idea of calling him up again in his head. The thing is, it seems to me as though even that would make me sound a little too interested. But maybe that's just me.

Maybe you could say to your mutual friend, "Oh, what was the name of that mate of yours with *distinguishing features here*"? You could always pretend you'd glimpsed him in the street or something to have sparked this off. Then when your mate says "oh, you mean Dave/whatever?", maybe a conversation about Dave and his whereabouts will spontaneously start.

Is this discreet enough?

Hey, good idea. I did glimpse him in the street a while ago, as a matter of fact, so it wouldn't even be a lie.

I know I'm advertising, and I do oppologies sincerely. It's for an english assignment. Can any of you do me a favour and visit the following page (nothing's written on it yet) and contribute to the discussion about the defenition of poetry? I'd like to make the assignment as high tech and interactive as possible, so a discussion would be great. The actual article will be up in the next day or two.

http://www.h2g2.com/A208856

I can't help but cast my two cents in. o o . There. I don't really have anything to say, as you seem to have come up with a solution, but I had to toss my two cents in.

I once asked a friend why he was so busy and looked so tired, his reply was: "It's amazing how much time and effort goes into accidentally bumping into someone". The poor boy was in love.

See, that's why I've never gone through the trouble of accidentally bumping into someone. I've always been fairly deliberate about bumping into people... I always feel so creepy and obsesive when I plan things out to seem accidental... and I'm obsesive enough already!

Obsessive over the people you bump into, or over different stuff?

In this case the bumper and bumpee got along great, for a while.

I'm obsessive too, the biggest problem is someone beat me by three days (and probably) a lot longer. It was the first time I had built up the courage to take a punt as well. At least the let down was very gentle.

Sorry to hear about that!

Yes, I obsess over women. Once one gets into my head it may take a hack saw to get her out again. But I'm not a crazy stalker type. I'm mostly harmless

Don't know if this could help, but one of my mates defined her strategy as 'let him chase you until you catch him'.

Bumper and bumpee... sounds like fun. Sounds like it involves thick rubber protective barriers, though.