h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*totally aghast at Mudhooks story - this guy dumped you for "another fiance", and hurt you on top of that?! What a total creep!*

Just goes to show that everyone has a story to tell, if only someone takes the time to listen....

Re: the "fiance".

I got my comeuppance when, about 6 months after they got married, she dumped him..... and, yes, he was a jerk. His name was Doug, and I have a theory about men named Doug which has, so far borne out, that they are cads of the first order. Mind you, there hasn't been an empirical study, so that's my theory (and my friend's... she married a Doug).

Does that mean that Douglas Adams was...






A Cad?!

No no no it's OK, he was a DOUGLAS, not an abbreviated and therefore caddish Doug.

Now someone is going to really upset me by telling me DNA had all his friends call him Doug...

Let's hope not...

The ticket bloke really gets me: thinking he was doing a favour by making a ticket valid for the end of the week, when it was supposed to be open-ended anyway . I fail to see how making it valid for that day would have been any more difficult.

Yes, airline - gits the lot of them.

I was trying to get from Luton to Inverness on EasyJey (don't say I told you so, I was a studnent and skint and it was STILL cheaper and faster than the train!)

Anyway, Luton is rather small. And our flight had to share a gate with two other flights, one Air Lingus in front of us and a Ryan Air after us.

Our flight was held up for 40 mins because the Lingus flight was waiting for ONE GUY and his baby stroller. He said he didn't hear the announcements. There were thirtenn of them. Thirteen "Would Mr Smith kindly shift his arse and get to gate 12 as you are holding up two other flights."

If none of you have been there, Luton has an excellent PA system and great sound engineering. You could hear a mouse fart over the PA system. Anywhere in the building.

Anyway, as I was, or rather the plane, was turning to come in to land at Inverness, 20 mins late, all I could see was my bus, sitting on the road by the airport, pulling out of the parking space, driving away down the road.

The bus is scheduled for the flights, and as the next flight wasn't for another three hours......

I had to take a very expensive taxi to catch my Citylink bus north.

And all because some git was sitting in the bar while his flight was called.

I'm very glad EasyJet has a hard turn around policy. IF you aren't at the check in desk 40 mins before the flight - you don't get on. No excuses, no exceptions.

Working at a supermarket, we are always on the lookout for credit card and debit card fraud.
We all had a good chuckle when a cashier found a debit card that someone had left behind - the name on it was Mrs. Fake!

Un fortunately, in this day and age of terrorism, most airlines will spend time making page after page in order to track down an errant passenger than have to unload all the baggage to extract their luggage.

My personal opinion is, that if you have been paged more than twice, have even a whiff of alcohol on your breath, and haven't been seen on the security cameras to have been abducted by aliens, they should bleeding well extract your luggage, blow it up, and make you pay for their time and effort..... and make a personal apology to every one of the delayed passengers and fight crew, and stand naked in the middle of the airport with a large sign around your neck saying "I am a complete git who cannot tell time", as a warning to others.

Now that's the voice of someone who's spent far too much time hanging around airport terminal buildings

Or someone with a desire to see lots of naked businessmen

Whats wrong with hanging around airport terminal buildings???

I happen to like hanging around airport terminal buildings!!!

Coincidentally, they have just opened a new terminal at Ottawa International airport. I didn't even know they were building one, and was there quite recently.....

Apparently, it is very nice. As long as it doesn't take you 4 hours to find your gate, and you can find something to eat quickly, I could care less what it looks like, but it is nice when you have to wait endlessly for a flight that you have something nice to look at (this does NOT include naked businessmen....).

At NCL, they put on re-runs of the "sketch show"!!!

Further to the opening of our new International Airport terminal:

The very first day, an observant traveller informed security that arriving passengers from international flights had been misdirected, bypassed Customs and Immigration entirely, and they had to be rounded up in the parking lot. One was apparently never located.

Note.... it was a fellow passenger who took the time to inform authorities.... otherwise, Security would never have known.

Gotta love Canada!

dog-eared postit as a bookmark.

That reminds me of my local pub, the now infamous "Jolly Bowman".

On the first night it opened, the police raided it suspecting it to be used as a local for underage drinkers (It's alright, I escaped upstairs). A few nights later the pub re-opened when a fight broke out between two female customers (this is Newcastle remember, the women are as damaging as the men, and were proud of it). Aparently the customers in question were barred by the previous management for unrully behaviour, and when the new managment came in, they lifted all barrs. The two customers were then barred and arrested by the police.

I can safely say, I will never drink there again!!!

You were barred as well ? tsk tsk.

If they're naked, how do you know they're businessmen?