A Conversation for Ask h2g2

Paying for Sex

Post 1

a girl called Ben

I have the distinct feeling that this thread will languish and die pretty quicky - but here goes.

What do people think about paying for sex?

I am not going to ask if you have ever paid for sex, or if you have ever been paid for sex. (Though I did once offer a housemate sexual favours in exchange for him doing my ironing. He turned me down).

This came out of two or three converstations I have had with different men in the last year, all of whom told me that they had never paid for sex ('except in the way that all men do' said one) but each of whom admitted that there could be an erotic charge in transactionalising the encounter.

For the record, I have absolute respect for prostitutes or sex-workers, or whatever the correct term is for working-girls.

So - how about you? What do you think about sex and money.

Ben


Paying for Sex

Post 2

Gnomon - time to move on

I can't see anything wrong with it for a single person. Married or permanent couples should remain true to each other and not engage in sex outside the relationship.


Paying for Sex

Post 3

Marjin, After a long time of procrastination back lurking

How much was there to be ironed?

As long as there are people wanting to pay for sex, there will be people trying to collect that money directly or indirectly.


Paying for Sex

Post 4

Madent

Indoor work with no heavy lifting? Sounds okay to me smiley - winkeye

Why not? Like you say, there could be a bit of an erotic charge to paying for sex. I've not actually been with a protitute but I have certainly negotiated favours with my partner and there is a kick there.

In a way all sex involves some form of transaction.

(Aside: I wonder if you should get a prostitute to sign a waiver, should they fall pregnant, to take full responsibility for the child or having an abortion? Could the CSA overturn this?)


Paying for Sex

Post 5

GTBacchus

"So - how about you? What do you think about sex and money?"

Well... if you're just giving 'em away... I'll take one of each, please!

smiley - laugh

Sorry.

I wonder what percentage of men who say they've never paid for sex are lying. smiley - devil

I think prostitution is a perfectly valid interaction. There's a continuum, I'd say, from a place where the waitresses are expected to wear short shorts and act flirty, to a place where they're topless, to a place where they wiggle naked on customers' laps, to a place where they take the customers to bed. All of these places exist so that men can indulge their fantasy of having a beautiful female companion do their bidding. If there are women willing to help those men indulge that fantasy, then there you've got it - supply and demand.

I don't suppose that patronizing the sex industry is the best thing for the moral/spiritual development of anyone involved, but life's hard, and who am I to take away someone's creature comforts, or someone else's means to pay the rent?

(I was once offered sex to write someone's college thesis... I didn't accept, and neither did anyone else in the room at the time.)


Paying for Sex

Post 6

Cheerful Dragon

I feel that the urge to have sex is perfectly natural. If there's nobody in your life that you want to have sex with (spouse / partner / 'significant other'), then I see nothing wrong with paying for sex. It's not something I would do myself. Maybe that's a 'woman thing'.

Prostitution isn't something that can ever be stamped out, however much some people would like it to be. Rather than try to get rid of prostitutes, I think that it would be better to have licensed brothels, where health checks can be performed and the people who provide the service can be monitored to try to ensure that there's no child prostitution. Also, some people have sexual preferences that their partners find repugnant. For example, some years ago there was outcry because TV presenter Frank Bough went to a 'Miss Whiplash' for sex. Which is worse, paying to have sex in a way that your partner won't do, or having your relationship fall apart over what should be a comparatively minor matter? I once read that sex is 5% of a good relationship and 95% of a bad one. If Richard was into something kinky, I'd rather he paid to have sex that way than lose him.


Paying for Sex

Post 7

Madent

Erm, there are male prostitutes too ...... and there are ladies who are willing to use them ......


Paying for Sex

Post 8

GTBacchus

"Erm, there are male prostitutes too ...... and there are ladies who are willing to use them ......"


Guilty as charged smiley - grovel I done generalized.

OTOH, *why* is it so much more common for the customers to be male?


Paying for Sex

Post 9

a girl called Ben

But will they do the ironing?


Paying for Sex

Post 10

Marjin, After a long time of procrastination back lurking

Seems easy.
When they part, for the male that's it.
The female might find herself pregnant later.


Paying for Sex

Post 11

Marjin, After a long time of procrastination back lurking

agcB, maybe you should have offered money!


Paying for Sex

Post 12

Madent

Look at the way the animal kingdom works.

In many species a female trys hard to get and retain a single mate. OTOH, in many species the male tries hard to spread himself around and visit as many females as possible.

There again maybe it is a cultural thing. Girls are taught to protect and value their virtue. Boys are encouraged to take it from them. Bit like the "Jack the Lad" vs "Slag" debate on promiscuity.


Paying for Sex

Post 13

weegie

funny, i had a conversation about this yesterday.

I'd have sex for a living if there was no stigma attached to it and no fear of prosecution, violence or exploitation.

Sadly, for many women (and men) the sex industries are they're only way of survivial and because of their desperate need (whether be for money to live on or drugs, whatever) there is a huge amount of exploitation, and its that exploitation that gives the industry a bad name.

by making prostitution legal you can protect the vulnerable women in the industry, could you imagine the ladies of the night trade union; standardised working practices and equal pay ... what would their staff development programmes be like?


Paying for Sex

Post 14

Wesley Pipes

This may be veering off-topic slightly but...

I think nature makes it obvious that males are supposed to be more promiscuous than females because a female can only be pregnant with one partner's child at a time whereas a male can impregnate as many females as possible (brewer's droop aside).

However, as on many issues, humans have overridden nature, and created a thing called contraception. This has allowed women to be just as promiscuous as men and I'm sure the numbers of male prostitutes will continue to rise steadily as our culture comes into line with this development (though to be honest, as most men are hopelessly desperate for sex, women should realise that they don't have to pay).


Paying for Sex

Post 15

a girl called Ben

When I went on the Peace March in London in November there was a banner proclaiming 'Sex Workers of the World Unite!'. Unfortunately I did not get the chance to go and talk to them.

Ben


Paying for Sex

Post 16

a girl called Ben

"as most men are hopelessly desperate for sex, women should realise that they don't have to pay" - but we are back to the transactionalisation thing again...

Aren't most male prostitutes and rent boys hired by other men anyway?

The bizzare thing about the housemate and the ironing is that he ended up having a relationship with his cleaning lady. Maybe I should have offered to do his ironing for him instead of asking him to do mine...

Ben


Paying for Sex

Post 17

Madent

That's actually quite scary.

The sex-workers of the world would be able to put the hands on quite a bit of power. Now if they co-ordinate their efforts ......


Paying for Sex

Post 18

Abi

Hi Ben, great idea for a thread. I was going to say 'we all pay for it at some time in one way or another' but your friend beat me to it! smiley - winkeye

Now I don't want to seem like a clucking mother hen, but to the person who suggested that prostitutes should sign a waiver in case they get pregnant, if you are wearing a condom that is unlikely to happen. Any one who sleeps with a prostitute without a condom - well more fool them.

Would I pay for sex? Probably not (I can think of better ways to spend the cash) but I wouldn't stop any one else from doing it. God forbid that my career gets to the point where I feel I might have be paid for it. smiley - winkeye



Paying for Sex

Post 19

Madent

"Aren't most male prostitutes and rent boys hired by other men anyway?"

More stereotyping .....


Paying for Sex

Post 20

Marjin, After a long time of procrastination back lurking

Like prostitute, gigolo is an ancient means to a living.


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