h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

WJH??


Dss called to cancel my appointment at 3PM

Bit short notice!!!



GT

Just overheard a strange conversation on the w*rk walkie-talkie:

: This is reception to visitor one, what's your location please, over?

(not visitor one): Last I heard, she's run away to join a small flea circus...

Ah, the fun I used to have with those things. The best was on slow Sundays doing our own radio plays and sketches. We don't have them where I work now.

WJH: Saw the biggest Christmas market fail of my life. Four caravans covered in board fencing so they'd look the part, selling festive delicacies like pie and chips.

We just had two inches of rain in 15 minutes. The local swimming pool supply shop has been flooded.

WJH: The maintenance man just climbed onto my roof to unblock the drain ( it's a flat roof ) Result, water pouring onto the palm trees under the balcony - it must have been really deep up there after the tropical storm. What a nice man - I'd better buy him a beer

I second that, Lanza


GT

Just spent two hours making the Christmas cake. There's now a lovely warm, spicy fruit smell filling the house.

Now comes the hard part - leaving it untouched for three weeks!

<>

make 2 and put one aside for 3 weeks

the other

Nah, it won't be good yet. It needs to mellow and age a bit (and be fed with brandy once or twice a week)...

ooh I lurve Christmas Cake! And mince pies, and. . . all that stuff.




Why is that pudding upside down?

In space, there's no right way up.

True, I suppose it will taste good anyway.

*Shuts eyes*

Not JUST happened, but earlier today I got a parking ticket!!! Me!!! Who breaks out in a cold sweat if I stop on a double yellow!

I'd been at the health centre getting my final jab, there were cars parked at the side of the road in designated spaces, one pulled out, I took its place and duly paid my parking fee. When I came back out, I had a parking ticket for taking up 2 bays! (the front of my car was slightly over the white line, as was the car behind, who also got a ticket. I hadn't checked this when I was parking )

Honestly!

Pffft, normally I don't have any time for driving offence complaints, but that one's a sickener.

What's more, if you think about it logically, it means that if *one* person parks over the line in a car park, say, nobody else is allowed to park in that whole row because of the knock-on effect.

Gawd! That seems to be the one parking offence that I haven't managed to pay the fine for. You have my deepest sympathy.


So far the only thing that hasn't happened to me is to be towed away. The last time I got fined was because my properly paid ticket had blown upside down by a gust of wind when I shut the car door. 'Not properly displayed'





and a whole lot of other ridiculous parking fines

challenge it, most parking notices are dropped when challenged, its just not cost effective, they rely on people just stumping up the cash,

say something along the line of, you couldnt get all the way into the bay as the other car was over the line and....blah blah blah, knock on effect, helps if you have photos aswell when you get it

we got a parking ticket for double yellow lines, few quick snaps with the camera phone, quick letter, yellow lines did not end in a legaly required T bar, we have photos if you want.....return letter, ticket cancelled

WJH?

After rain has washed the snow away, we now have freezing fog dropping down on Lancashire.........

Ice skating, anyone????



GT

We challanaged a speeding ticket once and got away with it, with the most feeble of reasons to explain why* we were*speeding
WJH?: nothing much... just laying on the bed, on top of a duck down duvet, with a synthetic duvet on top of me, with a netbook generating heat on top of the synthetic duvet...
I wantitng to go skating in the ice rink they've put up near me... but no one wants to go Just because I mentioned th eonly*ever other time I've been ice scating I broke my arm... well I was doing relaly well but I was*drunk that*time... (well It may have been a break, fracture or bad bruising, never went to teh hospital like)

Think I'll get out of bed now... freeze my off and go down and ahve a cigarette and a cup of... tea or coffee

Got confused about what day it was/is/will be.
Started listening to Alestorm.
I'm about to go and look at some of my 700+ wallpapers.