h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Beer, being made from grain, counts towards your daily cereal quota.

Cows, being made almost entirely out of grass are actually vegetables themselves and are suitable food for vegetarians.

PP

floccinaucinihilipilification has 30 letters

floccinaucinihilipilificationment has 34

floccinaucinihilipilificationmentisationalism has 46.

PP

The B.A. in the name B.A. Robertson actually stands for Bramley Apple.

And .......................... Robertson started off not making jam but bramley apple sauce.

The date for Easter every year is decided by the Pope and The Archbishop of Canterbury who get together and choose the date by throwing darts at a calendar.

..... and Christmas Day is decided in the same way by Phil "The Power" Taylor. But then he's very good at darts.

Ricky Gervais is the result of a successful experiment to produce a human-chimpanzee hybrid.

...successful?????

A recently introduced motoring law states that DeLorean cars sold on the second hand market must have their speed limited to a maximum 80mph so that people do not endanger themselves by driving at dangerous speeds in an attempt to go back in time.

I've lost the plot

The insects that hit my car windscreen in the summer are made out of glue and varnish and wax.

PP

Cracks caused by insect strikes on your windscreen are not covered by your car insurance.

The politically correct term for a citizen of scotland is, Jockanese!

Australia adopted Men At Work's hit Down Under as their national anthem in 2009.

shoplifting from the apple store has been downgraded to "scrumping"

Whilst NASA were experimenting with different ways to attach the Lunar Rover to the Apollo Landing Module, they developed and patented the car roof-rack. The money from sales of roof-racks paid for the Space Shuttle programme. Unfortunately, patents expire after 25 years which is why the Space Shuttle has now been grounded.

When they filmed the JR shooting scene in 80s soap Dallas, they didn't tell Larry Hagman what was going to happen and they actually shot him to make the scene as realistic as possible.