h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At last somewhere to put the prisoners and home for Pte's Reefgirl and Creachy

*comes to rather confused, and realises he is behind bars*
Release me at once!

I'm sorry but I'll have to have a few more details and wait for[] Terran (our CO) for instructions, we will of course have to notify your high command of your internment you are offically a POW

Reefgirl MP

*Walks in from the shadows*

We can't be releasing you this early. We want some answers! And we may want to do a few experiments on you, just for posterities sake. Though obviously the more answers you give the less severe the experiments .

[] Terran

*Salutes* Sir, can I have your permission to *ahem* interrogate him, with you present of course sir, to see fair play

Reefgirl MP

*whispers* Sir why don't we get a professional to do this, I hear the h2g2 Spies are good at this sort of thing,or do you want to keep it in house

Hmm... I think keep it in house for now, but I would be interested in doing dealings with the h2g2 spies if things get out of hand. As you were private, and begin.

*Salutes* yes Sir, ok Vogon life will be a lot easier for all of us if you answer our questions now, it'll save a lot of.........unpleasentness later, first thing is why us and then of course your battle plans what are your capabilities

*places hands on desk and leans forward menecingly*

Tell us everything NOW!!!!!

Reefgirl MP

I demand my phonecall!!

we can assign you an Army lawyer as for interstellar phone call that maybe a bit of a prob, will have to ask someone to set it up, you know light year time diferences and that kind of thing, we don't want you phoning your desendants do we.

Reefgirl MP

I've got a communications llama here somewhere, it's got phone, fax, e-mail, subspace and sub-etha communications.

Ok Pte Ralph (or whoever you are now) you get the llama and we'll get the vogon

<love Reefgirl MP

Fred, get over here!

Ok Vogon just give Fred the Llama your message and sit back and think about what you're going to tell us.

Reefgirl MP

Err whats that?

*points at the vogon*

is it safe?

*prods it with a stick just in case*

Bursts into sulky adolescent tears and bites Cal Fortuneswell in the shoulder. *speaks to Fred* Tell my parents I hate them and I'm getting a tatoo.

Oh God just what I need Kevin the Vogon

Reefgirl

It's perfectly safe, it's just us who are in trouble!

I've had plenty of experience dealing with childrens tantrums, just ground the brat for a couple of weeks, make him tidy his room and do the washing up, that do it for a while, until we get the go ahead to beat the out of him

Reefgirl (BTW I've been promoted)

Ok Kevin the Vogon, sit up straight will you, we've let your people know where you are now tell us where you plan to attack next or its.............washing all the vehicles on the base and NO payment or all the washing up in the cookhouse it's up to you tell us what we want to know

*bangs fist on desk*

NOW!!!