A Conversation for Lourdes - Place of Miracles?

Peer Review: A796034 - Lourdes

Post 1

Bekster

Entry: Lourdes - A796034
Author: Bekster - U199476

This is by no means a complete history of Lourdes and the wierdness that goes on there. I was thinking of calling it ST.Bernadette insted but am not sure. As well I wanted to make sure that the tone of this is not offensive to anybody!

Bekster


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 2

There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho

Hello Bekster smiley - smiley Only a couple of days here and challenging us with some serious writing already smiley - biggrin

Some people find Peer review 'harsh', but it's not meant to be. It's simply a group of fellow researchers who will help others to fine tune their entries.

I don't know enough about the story of St Bernadette and Lourdes to comment on the content, but I can make a few GuideML suggestions to help the look of your entry.

The contents of each header will benefit from being enclosed in a paragraph tag. For instance...

What is Lourdes?

Lourdes is a small town in the French Pyrenees. Every year it is the pilgrimage destination of over three million pilgrims. It has over four hundred hotels, The Ciergerie Lourdaise produces a ton of candles every day, and the post office handles six and a half million postcards a year.

Why?

Etc.

Try it on a couple of paragraphs to see the difference it makes.

I think you could also treat the list of individual apparitions and intervals as subheaders, but keep 'The visions', 'Saint Bernadette', and 'A place of miracles' as headers.

By the way, you've got her down as dying in 1979 - that's one very long-lived lady smiley - winkeye


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 3

sprout

I would amend the title a bit to indicate that you're concentrating on the story of Bernadette and the religious phenomenon.

Lourdes the town has got other strings to its bow - notably a fantastic castle and as a base to go walking.

sprout


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 4

Spiff


Hi there Bekster, smiley - smiley

I haven't read this piece properly yet, because I can see it isn't really *finished*. No great problem there, but I wanted to comment straight away to suggest that you take the entry out of peer review and try working on it in the Writers Workshop if you want get some initial feedback.

As a new researcher, you might also get some tips there on what guide entries are all about, etc.

Don't Panic! This is not any kind of 'rejection' - but pieces in Peer Review are supposed to be more or less ready for the guide; whereas it is obvious (from the presence of a header with no text under it) that this is a work in progress.

If you look at the Peer Review page, you will notice the word 'remove' next to *your* entry and *your* entry only. you can remove it, then go up to the top of that PR screen and click the link to the Writers Workshop (there are a couple of other fora, too, you will notice)

...or actually, the way to get your piece in there is to open it (your entry); click the link 'submit for review' and then look in the drop down list. Writers Workshop must be the second option.j

Did that make sense? smiley - smiley

cya


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 5

Smij - Formerly Jimster

How about: 'Lourdes and the Visions of St Bernadette'? That way, you don't have to go into the greater details of either Lourdes or the life of Bernadette herself.

One other suggestion - under the 'Visions' header, the individual vision headers might look better as subheaders.

Good first entry though on a fascinating topic.


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 6

Spiff


agreed both on the First Apparition suggestion AND that this has the makings of a fine first edited entry. smiley - smiley


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 7

There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho

"(from the presence of a header with no text under it)"

If you're referring to the 'Visions' header Spiff, it's the one which prompted me to suggest subheaders for the list of apparitions. There's no text under it because it's a header for the apparitions, which are themselves in headers.


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 8

Bekster

Sorry if this is a really basic question - I find the Clinic for Guide ML very hard to understand as it is - How do I make subheadings?


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 9

Bekster

Thank you for your tips!!
I have been trying to put gaps in the thing since I wrote it - to no avail!! so your advice was much needed!



A796034 - Lourdes

Post 10

alji's

Put subheader here


Alji, smiley - zensmiley - wizard of the Red Dragon (Swynwr y Ddraig Goch) (conducting a sun sign poll @ A712595)(Member of The H2G2 Guild of Wizards @ U197895 looking for wiz kids to join, though you don't have to be a wiz kid just know a bit about some subject that you think will be of interest to others or just bore the pants off them. This is an equal opportunities space open to all sexes, ages and abilities)


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 11

Bekster

I made the suggested improvements - as far as I was intending this article is complete. Is there anything I would need to add to make it a "fuller" and more suitable guide entry?

Bekster


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 12

Spiff


Hi Bekster, smiley - smiley

it was me that suggested that this was not 'finished', and someone quite rightly pointed out that I had been misled by the 'empty' header.

It is a very full account; i don't think lack of content is a problem here. smiley - smiley

btw, well done on the new formatting - a great improvement. I don't know how long it took you but i tend to think that it is a good investment. I haven't re-read the text but the change in format is definitely helpful from the reader's perspective. smiley - ok

all the best with the this and future writings on h2g2
spiff


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 13

There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho

That looks just grand Bekster smiley - biggrin


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 14

Bekster

Ta very muchsmiley - blush!!


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 15

Z

Seem great to me as well. Do stick around, only one thing I noticed. What was the strange state of Bernadettes corpse?


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 16

Bekster

She hasn't started to decompose yet basically.

There were no mummification teqniques used on her corpse and yet it has that apperance - also her "flesh and muscles still adhere to her skeleton". I have also heard without confirmation that (grusome as it sounds) her eyeballs have not decomposed. I went to see her "on display" about 2 years ago and it was very strange, eerie.

I don't really know a lot about the specifics of this - but I suspect that if I did it would encompass another entry, as there are other saints to whom this phenomenon is ascribed, and the scientific detail of it would fill around 2000 words easily,(now that's an idea...)!!!

Bekster


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 17

Bekster

Having read over the entry again I see what you mean, I added a little bit to explain what I was on about!!


A796034 - Lourdes

Post 18

Jimi X

Very interesting account. I've never seen an account of all the apparitions in one place.

Good one! smiley - ok

- Jimi X


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Post 19

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