h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*argh*

Last night I forced myself out of the house to go and see a gig. I had half-promised a few people I would be there, including a guy I've been e-mailing with for a few months. Not, this guy and I (let's call him the Zen Master) are not romanticaly involved, nor there has ever been any discussion of that. We started e-mailing because he'd read my blog and we quickly realised that we were both going through the same ordeal, being in love with our respective best friends who were seeing somebody else.

So that's the preamble. I was quite happy to finally meet the guy in person: I'm all for epistular contact, but meeting face-to-face is ten times better. I didn't know many people in the venue: apart from this guy, I only knew one of the blokes who were playing (excellent electronic set, by the way), the gig organiser (who spent the evening talking to this girl I think he's been seeing for a while) and another guy who was otherwise engaged. Which only left me with my e-mail pal for company, since I'd come alone.

What do you know, Zen Master got nervous because the girl he is in love with was obvioiusly fuming at the nostrils (she is one of those little manipulators who won't go out with him, but cannot stand to see him with other girls). I bought him a drink - this is 2003, right? - and I talked to him a while. I didn't have many people to talk to, so it seemed natural to be around him.

At the end of the evening, he said: "Now people think you fancy me."

Ah, . This is so junior high: you talk to a guy, buy him a drink, smile a bit too much and suddenly you're trying to have it off with him, and this is, like, a MAJOR crime. All of a sudden everybody's laughing like it's a house party and there is an undeclared purdah.

It's perfectly fine if the object of Zen Master's affection thinks he's hitting on me. Too bad it has to be the other way around because the guy is too chicken to capitalize on it. What I find terminally annoying is this junior-high attitude. I mean, we're all well past the age of consent. Isn't it time we all stopped behaving like children?

*grrr*

He sounds like a self-centered wally - putting it politely!

What's funny is not so much his reaction, but rather the fact that people actually told him they thought I was hiting on him. Which is ridiculous, as he is five years younger and four inches shorter than me, a vegan and a metal fan. (Hellooooo?) Plus, we'd already ruled the option out. He was very embarrassed by his stupid friends' reaction, and now I bet he'll stop e-mailing me just because of it.

Boys.

Sounds like first degree "Pillock" that Zen or whatever It must have looked like a scene from the movie "Grease"! Im surprised that they never all burst out in song! GretaAh! well put that one down as another lucky escape! You should write your book on that subject Greta, Call it "hits from 2003!" At least you saw through it Greta, and came out with a smile
Smudger.

To be honest, I think it all boils down to me being a single woman who likes to talk to people. I suppose that, if I'd been demure and gone over to stand in a corner, nobody would've given me a second thought. I could have done that, of course, but the evening would've been boring. Instead I chose to socialize, but you should've seen the embarrassment on the guy's face. Like I had my hand down his pants the whole time, or something.

I won't change, my sociability is a good thing about me and I won't give it up, I don't give a to$$ if it means that my loev life will stall forever because nobody wants a girl who - gasp! - talks to men! Actually goes over to them and - cor! - initiates conversation!

"Like I had my hands in his pants" Oh! Greta! thats priceless I reckon that if you kept going out and watched peoples reactions to certain events, you could write a book on it. This is 2003! after all, who cares these days who starts the conversation? Sounds like you were in some "sad company that night Go get Em! Greta, and keep us posted, coz I cant wait to read the next part
Smudger.

Oh, that's all I do. Watch people and write about them. This activity, if anything, has developed my sense of empathy and my understanding of people's motivations and actions.

I reckon I'd be feeling less out of place if my female friends and I were more of a pack, like guys are. Unfortunately, once they shack up girls tend not to leave the house without their partner (guys keep doing that even after shacking up). My other friends go out les often, and won't let me drag them to social events, so I often go alone. I suppose that if my mates were with me I'd find safety in numbers. I've got used to being alone in a crowd and I actually anjoy random socializing, but sometimes it hits a snag.

I know what you mean about the junior high attitude Greta, & I can identify with smudger's Grease reference *rolls eyes* - been there (to an extent), done that (to an extent), washed my hands of the whole thing! I mean, maybe it was kind of a 'knee-jerk' reaction & sure, I guess it's a lifestyle change I regret sometimes...but, only a little. And I try not to dwell on that.

I can relate to your, run with the pack point of view Gteta, as I found out while going ashore in the R.N. many years ago now? I must admit though that I was more of a loner" myself, and found that I got on (for the want of a better way of putting it?) better. During my long spells away from home, I got involved in relationships? (but never casual ones)and I never hid anything from any one, and when asked by my wife I would tell her the truth.
Smudger.

I suppose I'm just starting to realise I may be growing too old for this kind of social gathering... the younger girls are competitive and bitchy, the guys behave like schoolchildren, and nobody's making very good use of their wits at all, myself included.

I suppose I should quit. Really give up. Spend more time at home.
I'm so tired. Every time I seem to be picking myself up, something happens to make me feel drab and old and ugly and socially undesirable.

As I feel this all already - old and so on, I usually have great fun with this kind of situations. Even worse, sometimes I create those just to have fun. A small town is the best place for this kind of entertainment, of course. I guess I could feel offended or hurt or whatever if they'd suspect me hitting on somebody while I'm actually doing it.

Hi Greta & Hati (nice to hear from again BTW)No Greta your not getting too old as you put ityour just getting more experienced! you can tell that by the way you noticed the younger ones behaviour. You can see through facades at a glance now, when a couple of years ago it would have took you longer!
I have always found my first impressions to be right (says he who took 23 years to figure out first wife)No but that was over a long period of time. So dont you dare stop your self from going out to do what you want Be blunt, Be forceful, & believe in yourself, let them know your there
Smudger.

Unfortunately people (esp. male ones) never seem to be too old to behave like you described it. But just keep in mind (and as a man I know what I'm talking about) that, if a man goes to see his therapist, and if the therapist says "Today we'll go back into our early childhood", it's a very short trip because the man is already (or rather 'still') there ...

Jeremy

He sounds like abit of a t**t, but not necessarily because he's 5years younger and a vegan!

Terri

Five years younger and vegan means we're seriously not compatible, not that he's a t**t He's just a bit of a kiddo. He really hadn't realised he was acting stupid. We're talking as usual and things are back to normal, with me trying to warn him about the perils of being in love with somebody who is just using him as an ego booster (been there, done that).

He's a nice guy, just a little too shy and clumsy for his own good.

Sounds like you have got it sussed out now Greta so good luck with your writing, and I sinserely hope that it all goes for you now. May the "force be with you
Smudger.

Well, it all boils down to establishing genuine relationships with people. My e-mail friend and I have a clear-cut relationship, so it was relatively easy to settle the difference.

I'm not sure I've got it all sussed out. I try to be wise, but sometimes my sainty just goes to hell...

Hi GretaI see you have changed your post line again, and no its "not a bad thing". Its just you realising that you have now gained more experience of life, and thats a lot different to just, growing older. Its the expreiences that give you lines, not the age!. Theres nothing wrong with your sainity, and you are more sussed than you believe your self to be. Trust me
Smudger.

Thanks Smudger I do my best. I suppose I have a lot of growing up to do! (Which is only good if you think about it... once you're all grown up there's nowhere much to go )

Hi Greta, Of course there are places to go, everywhere!Nothing has changed your still the same person you were before. Experience does not show on the outside, but you know its there. So use it to your advantage
Smudger.