h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes I'm Mr Bendy

ok went to see the physio today, to be diagnosed really as the doc claims thats the job of the physio.

He did excatly the same tests as the doc did and went "yep your hyper mobile so what do you want me to do?"

DER!!!!!! Stop the ing pain might be nice!!!!!!


Any hoo a lot of my back and knee problems stem from the way I stand. I lock my knees right out, this in turn causes my spine to curve and my calf's to be over developed as the are taking the entire weight of my body more all less.

He was very doubtful about being able to change this stance as this is the way I have stood all my life and after 30 years it is a long slog trying to retrain my brain to stand properly with my knees slightly bent, if feels weird as well to me, like I'm going to fall forwards.

I have to do some exercises on my knee to try and strengthen the ligaments there as they are allowing the joint to move in such a way that it shouldn't, if that makes sense which is causing the joint pain.

His parting words to me were that the syndrome was incurable and that it would steadily get worse I as get older. Oh what joys to look forward to in old age, more pain and maybe dislocated joints *sighs* That is something I'd rather he had kept to himself .

oh and apparently its not my shoulder that hurts its my neck, even thought the pain is in my shoulder

Meh!

The doctor was that helpful?

My doctor diagnosed me with 'growing pains'.

I always get told to lose weight and the pain will stop, whatever pain I have I'm told to lose weight

they can't do that with me, because I'm super fit they have to go out of their way and find out what is going on although it has taken them 16 years to discover this, and it was Scott's physio who found it, not my doc. So had scott not been diagnosed with it I would still be wondering what the hell was going on

My brother said if it was growing pains that were bothering me, I should be a lot taller.

It's my knees that pop a lot and my left shoulder sort of shifts a little, but not enough to slip out of the socket, just enough to be really annoying.

*contemplates images of Evangeline's height*

that's a lot of pain for not much payoff...

I kept the receipt for my body and I intend to take it back to the Great almighty and tell him I want my money back and threaten to sue, for selling faulty goods ! Meh!

Can you do that? Will they give you a new one? I think I'd like a non-lemon-ish one myself..

*shows you the receipt*

its consumer law that faulty goods can be taken back and a full refund/exchange of goods, must be offered, and this body is supposed to have a lifetime guarantee

You should know, there is probably a loophole somewhere.

a loophole?


there can't be


*paces muttering at first and slowly getting louder*there can't be a loophole there was something amiss with the make up of collagen which must have happened in the womb so therefore this entitles me to a full refund surely

Would collagen supplements or glucosamine supplements help?

it's not lack of collagen there is something wrong with the way its been made up

Well, that isn't fair.

I have this friend who has kept a notebook of 'complaints and questions for God'. You might consider making one of those.

might be an idea yes

*hands you a really large notebook*

thankyou

You will need a few of these too.

thanking you muchly

They say the pen in mightier than the sword after all

They do say that, but have you tried slicing a watermelon with a ?