h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok , here is something that will kill me , if I don't find the error in the system of writting , without going mad and die , because there are no more hairs on my head and I'm through my skin and flesh , being on bone and the most of is gone so I have an unbelievable number of toothpicks and I'm looking really bad and haven't slept since the last five centuries .
Couldn't I write an dialog you can actually believe without the help of the own multiple personality ?
The whole will beginn with the hello-problem to get two imaginatives together ( it's the minimum so I was told or you create a Person which is multiple to his own ) . That is the easier part so I think . You do it with "Hello " once and " Hello " twice . Thats all and the matter is gone so it seems in front . You will be happy and now you are in an disaster of the black whole of being terrified and dashed between the one is a girl and the other is an boy , so you have created in an instant ( an little grain in the glas of time ) two diffrent persons or human being or what else you use to let them together to have an talk . It's all in your mind and that is the next problem : Its all in your mind ! so this what you write is the madness of your own wolrd leaning in something that happened in your live or you've readen somewhere . Point is there will be an recall , an thought or an lie that will create an world to your bubbling togethers . Your the liar ,but you want to sell your stuff to untroubled headdown people which will laugh about without understanding aun you will be judged first by yourself and then through the guys which understand close the half of your work . What will be the next which will happen to your twice creations ? Never will happen that they go to bed and dream till the end of time ! there is an solution which seems to be the right way : Give them names in their dialog and add the position of there eternal live , where they lived till this moment . Ok , I've said there is an boy and an girl , lets do something in there non-definated erruption of meaningless background . First they were walking on an overtrafficed street on the same walkway ,one from left and one from right .It's written and it will happen at this screen and in your mind . Who is coming from where is yours ! Am I playing god ? Flying madness ...
Ok, they meet eachother and fighting themself through the hello-problem and finding themself sympatic , standing around and do nothing , because he is to shy to speak ( Its love at the first look , how romantic .... würg ..... but it happens ) but she is the tough one and says " Hey whats with your eyes they are so wet . Lets drink something in this beautiful bar here on my left !" Now is definated who is coming from where and I've killed your freeness !
And the short goes on with an yep-form aof an deeper voice of an gentletype young guy who is open the door and says " My name is Desmond , nice to meet you and thanks for speaking with me !" Add to that the note that the girl make an laugh which will harden your functionable and make you crazy and let her answer " Nice to meet you too , little shy freckle . I'm Veronica since the day of my birth !" "How impressiv "
We have overlived to take the first part of an dialog ( WE ? Multiple personalities or is the meaning you and me ? Its hard to say ,I would say ) . So we've ( I've ) created two persons which now were sitting in an splendid bar in the middle of the day . They both were in the best time of their lives which I would say are the yaers between 24 and 28 . It's in your mind . Are you multiple enough to get an little story about that which goes longer as , give me a number , 3000 words with explainig the need of the writers multiples ? It would help to see that I'm not alone in thiese sympathic-paranoided overcrowded world of misunderstanding . Are we all ( includes only writting persones ) devided in our minds and wits ? DNA named us liar and we are ,we follow our own religion and create new , where we can breath ! Please , all people who can read and write , help me to create an answer of creating a world . Our world . Shaking your head to go in your next multiple and question yourself !!!

Your the hero of my mind with the clamorious and legendary amor and I'll be the princess of the deeper meaning

With love Marcel - Pierre

>> It would help to see that I'm not alone in thiese sympathic-paranoided overcrowded world of misunderstanding. <<



>> ..that the girl make an laugh which will harden your functionable.. <<

It's phrases like that which convince me you are sending your text thru several translations. This conviction helps me deal with the confusion and feelings of inadequacy otherwise raised by your meandering stream of consciousness.

By 'confusion' I mean 'I don't know what to say' because I'm not sure what you are saying. By 'feelings of inadequacy' I mean I don't know what to say or even how to properly say 'I don't know what to say'.

I'd be curious to see that last paragraph of mine run thru the same series of tranlators.


~jwf~

I don't know what to say , so I say what I say to see what happend if I say what I'm saying . It's possible that the saying is not the meaning just an thought to say I say nothing to provoke an language to say that I'm wrong and means I'm maybe on the right way , wich means I would say nothing more if there is nobody who listen and say you mean I should say what you mean , but I don't understand ?

Many people have written monologues without any personality.

In some alternate universe, tonsil revenge is the twenty-first century's answer to Mark Twain. Maybe even in this universe!

Or Will Rogers?

I thought I was Mark Twain.

He's more the Will Rogers type.
Well, Will Rogers doing Yosemite Sam.

~jwf~

>> Many people have written monologues without any personality. <<

I mean, read that line with an Elmer Fudd accent and it comes off as Yosemite Sam.

" Manny peephole ha' witten mono-woggs widdout any pewsonalty."

Or am I drawing a Blanc here?


~jwf~

That last one really Mels ~jwf~

One-liners all day long,
but still not a pish to pot in...




Brush Up Your Shakespeare!

I was channeling Dorothy Parker at that moment.


"If all the girls from Vassar and Smith were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised..."

Why does everybody use "an" instead of "a".This is really quite fundamental to writing.If the word after the "a" or "an" starts with a vowel,you put an "a" in front of it.If it starts with a consonant you put an "an" in front of it.

Oh, shut your hole.

He was being vacuous. Or funny. Or his translation programme was acting up.

Besides, I always ignore them rules you just spurted and use which ever seems to suit the sentence.

"He was driving a Bentley."
"He was driving an historically significant Bentley."

Hell! I mean the piece just reads akwardly if you stick "an" in "a's" place all the time.It doesn't even sound like the funny kind of stupid.It just sounds insipidly idiotic.And no-one's going to even consider reading what you write if you write like an inebriated hillbilly inbred.

Haaaaaiiiiiiiyah! Nunchaka Chop!

(mailto [email protected] for free ebook on how to make enemies)

Well done Vurkmoord... You're a credit to the ebook mentioned in your signature...

But, next time you have a go at how a researcher writes, try to check their personal space or even read the backlog first...?!

[English is not Therest's first language for pete sake!!!!]

loup

"And no-one's going to even consider reading what you write if you write like an inebriated hillbilly inbred."

Oh, I don't know. Have you ever read "The Sotweed Factor"? Or any Faulkner? How about James Joyce?

I've seen some stuff on the best-seller lists that wouldn't pass muster with a sixth grade teacher in a one-room schoolhouse in Minnesota. There's no accounting for taste.