h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Inspired by this I'm wondering if we can create our own conspiracy theory..

A85654957

We just need to start a semi-plausible rumor that appeals to someone's intrinsic prejudice and spread it around the internet.

We can get started here:

.http://www.publiceye.org/conspire/generator.html

Around here, it'll have to involve badgers and hoovers...

For the most part, I think it would be fun to see of we could make one with sticking power. I think we could, definitely!

But a little, nagging part of me says that the sum of human ignorance is already so vast that it doesn't need any help from us.

OK... Taht would be fun....

hmmm....

Need some plausible, real* factual knowledge to start it off...

How about starting with a not totally unknown, but not famous, now dead, designer/archutech who designed a few pretty famous buildings somewhere, but not like really* famous ones... or... something like that... then the conspiracy can be weilded on to the bit of factual 'reality' we start with... or sodemthing

I've still never seen the one about Princess Di's, hotel room being hoovered the day she died, being explained satisfactorily away... Seems too much of a coincidence to me... and they never named the person who hoovered her room...

Defiantly needs the word 'nighthoover' in it.

*consults the world medical conspiracy card*

I'm supposed to be keeping you sick by... er.. what is it this week?...

Humm better not mention this or my cheque won't show up this month. =

I thought this week was the mind control rays in MRI scanners?

Actually, that conspiracy theory's bound to exist already...

No, make it CT scanners, I need to keep people coming back for MRI for my study.

Aha! See! You admit it!

That doesn't explain my 25% drop-out rate.

Actually... I had to put that in to not let my cover slip

I've had dozens of MRI and CT scans, and, for some obscure reason those ones they do with the really really really cold gell on your 'tummy', Plenty of X-rays too mind Oh. This isn't Disproving the MRI/CTWhateveritscalled/X-ray scan conspiracy mind control thing any , is it?

You see, there was this bloke, who built this place, in London, right, back like a long while ago, only, like he was working secretly for this underground/overground movement type thing, which may, or may not have involved the nighttemplers or nighthoovers, and, like, anyhow, due to his connection and influence, he got the deal for building this like place in London. Anyhow, due to the way he built it, it was like this thing, which made the people who lived there do his bidding... Anyhow, like hundreds of years later, and those musition/poetry/politions were living there like, and they like got their minds controlled, like by this weird stuff in the house he'd built there, and they like go off, and right, as a consequence of that they build this big ring road thing, like round the whole of London, and that's like where it gets really weird... I mean, you'd not know it, but its just like balooned right out now and people you'd not expect, are right, like just doing this geezer from centuarys ago's, work, and like all through the nighttempler/nighthoverly influence that made him build this like really weird house in the first place...
Anyhow, like they investigated it and everything, and there was like this strange 'ray', eminating out of something underneath the house, and like no one knows what it is, but they like did this X-ray thing, through the floor, and found something, but because of Tony Blair's/Margret Thatchers/Borris Jonson/Tony Ben/The queen, its like all been hidden up, and they hid it, up, they say, because they're really actually also the same as the guy who built the place in the first place, and they've been like influenced by him too, and have hidden it up, so not anyone ever really finds out, l9ike what it is, and anyhow, if you work out the mathmatics of the m15 motorway thing, it like all closes in on this one spot, and when you draw the lines up, it all coincides on this one house, and they say Jimmi Hendrix went there once, and like that made him write one of his songs, and that's been corrupting people into this nighttempler/nighthoover thing forever...

really?

Yes... really... You see, there was this guy who like worked for this company, and they got this contract to do some cleaning, up after they'd done all the X-rays of the building and stuff, and he found all these documents to do with it, and my Brother knew him, well, knew a friend of his, and he got taken out by the government or something, like just totally vasnished, and no one know what happened to him, cept it was obviously the government trying to hid up what he'd found, when he got these photos of the X-rays they took of the ground underneath the house....

It's the wiring. In every house. It's a worldwide conspiracy. You don't need the green and yellow wire for electricity to work. In fact, if you look inside the breaker box, you'll notice that all of those green and yellow wires run together to the same spot and out of your house. That's because they're data transmission cables that listen in on your every conversation from the outlets.

And the so-called "breaker box"? Take a closer look and you'll find it's a controller. When the little switches get flipped, that injects a dose of mind-altering chemicals into the outlet in case you get close enough to figure it out. Ever felt a sharp pain when you touched an outlet, then found the little switch flipped? See? And that's why they want you to flip them before you work on anything electric, so you won't remember seeing the spy equipment.

Sometimes you'll find a so-called "grounding wire" attached to a sink, as well. These are hollow and are used to gather DNA samples, like beard trimmings, fingernail clippings, or skin cells.

The clue is all in the colour scheme. The green obviously stands for Islam and the yellow stands for gold, because they're doing it all for their love of money.

Better rip them all out while you can. But make sure you don't flip the "breaker switches", or you'll forget what you were doing!

Blistering barnacles! The MRI thing is worse than I thought!

"...her eyes physically taken over by an MRI, data mining the Plaintiff’s optic pattern, DNA, and more."

And everyone is involved! I didn't realise it, but Z is in league with the KGB, CIA, Mossad, China and the Mafia too!

http://archive.org/details/NsaTransmissionsElfMindControlCancerCorruptions_4

ok now at both Mala and KB