h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Its been quite a day today and rather than end up talking about this all over the place I thought I would write a journal.

Last night OJ's father was taken into hospital. He was having trouble breating and had acute pain in his arm and back. For a long time we were told that he was comfortable and not critical. Late last night this seemed to change and while he was still not critical the hospital sounded less confident and OJ went over there and I am pleased he did. They saw the doctors a few times and waited a while as his Dad was in intensive care, about 2am they were sent home from the hospital. He asked me to wait here in case anyone called, and when they were sent home I went to bed then but did not sleep much.

OJ's dad died at about 5 this morning. I was feel very sad and helpless. OJ stayed at him Mum's last night - I really could have used a hug and I am sure he could too. Everything is rather up in the air at the moment and this morning I was feeling really numb.

I spent most of today with OJ and his Mum doing some of the things that need doing on these occasions - there is so much to do! OJ's Mum is kind of coping and I spent a lot of today listening as I drove them from place to place.

We are back home now - OJ's Mum wanted to be on her own for the night and his brothers are just round the corner is she changes her mind. On the way home we went to see OJ's kids to let them know - I think this was one of the hardest things he had to do all day.

Its going to be a tough few days, OJ's Dad was a fab man - always making people smile and laugh - I may only have known him a relatively short time but I certainly wont forget him. It was so quick and sudden. I hope OJ is going to be OK.

It's time to pay back the favour you did for us light

Thanks both

Balls! This is not happy news

I'm guessing from experience here, that you are going to be the fetcher and carrier of water; all around taxi, support and sorter-outer person for the next little while.

If you need to let of a little steam, need a little support, or need anything pretty much in general: you know where to get it, OK.

Sorry to hear about OJ's dad LHG How old was he? Will you be taking any time off work?

Thank you all You are all great!

Yes GD my role is as general support person and yesterday was very much the taxi service - OJ having been up all night and very upset was not in fit state to drive and his Mum does not drive ...

Today there is lots of sorting out to do - OJ has slept soundly most of the night and is still snoring away at the moment - I will wake him soon. I have spoken to his Mum this morning and she is OK and also slept OK last night - managing about 7 hours solid. Once OJ is up we will go over there.

OJ's Dad had not been well for a number of years but he was not expected to die. It all happened very quickly and has been somewhat of a shock. As I said Sunday early evening he started to feel unwell and had pain in his back and his arms, after a while he started to find it hard to breathe so they called an ambulance and he was taken to hospital. The doctors were confident all was well until about 11pm when he started to deteriorate. One of OJ's brothers collected their Mum and the boys and she all went to the hospital. We kept in touch by phone. About midnight he was taken into intensive care but we were told he was not critical. He died about 5am. Very Sad.

OJ coped brilliantly yesterday I think. He found telling his kids really hard and after we had dropped them home he had a good cry. He is worried about his Mum and as the eldest about his brothers, all on top of dealing with it himself.

I took most of yesterday off work and while I have checked my emails this morning am also not working today. I will work tomorrow but from home. I am very lucky in that work are being brilliant about all this.

I do appreciate the support you are all offering and no doubt I will be taking you up on it from time to time!

's all round

Todays Update

OJ felt a lot better this morning haveing had a good sleep and both he and his Mum felt ready to face the day.

Today we have managed to make most of the funeral arrangements and let lots of people know. OJ'm Mum had chosen a suit for her husband to be burried in and I took her to the funeral home to deliver it. The lady we saw yesteray was not there but there was another person who was almost as lovely with OJ's Mum. There was a bit of a panic when OJ's Mum realised she had forgotten to take socks. We sorted this out later in the day but I dont think I will mention to her that she has also forgotten to take any underpants!!!!

I also took OJ's Mum shopping to make sure she has some food in for the next few days. While we were doing this OJ started to make some of the calls that are needed to get his fathers affairs in order and to ensure things like his Mum being able to stay in their sheltered accomodation. It was a difficult day for him - having to tell people about your loss seems to make it all much more real.

I have found today much harder and have felt much sadder - not really sure why but I guess the shock element is wearing off and I am feeling a little less numb. Also now I know how OJ, his family and his kids are with all this it leaves more time for me to think about me

There is still a lot to do but both OJ and I are pretty confident that his Mum will be OK tomorrow and we are both back at work. I will be working from home so that if OJ's Mum decides that she is not OK or wants some company I can go over there. She has a regular morning in her block tomorrow morning and OJ's brother will call in tomrrow lunchtime.

OJ's Mum has been sharing all sorts of stories from the past and I am getting quite confused about who is who and who knows who etc - the funeral is going to be quite confusing from that perspective The logistics for the day are going to take some working out - but thats a job for tomorrow or the day after. There are all sorts of complications such as us wanting to be there early to help get things arranged and stay late to clear up, but OJ's childerns Mum needing a lift over there and she and the kids saying that they will not want to get there early or stay back. She had an operation (cosmetic surgery totally elective) recently and cant drive at the moment so is expecting OJ to arrange everything for her - has she not heard of taxis and footing her own bill or though of asking her live in partner to take her over and offer her a little more support?!? To explain - I am very comfortable with her wanting to be there but just for once wish she would think about what someone other than herself wants. The day is going to be hard enough for OJ as it is - the last thing he needs is her being difficult - and that wont help the kids either. OJ is going to need to suport his Mum and we will almost certainly need to help her before and afterwards. Maybe we should just offer to sort it all out and pay for it for her, but really since she is OK but off work she has plenty of time to do that for herself. Am I being unreasonable - is it too much to ask for her to sort something out for herself rather than expect OJ, who is so snowed under and greatly effected by this, to do it for her? I just want to make the day as easy for him as possible.

One thing I am sure of is that it will all work out and I will do what ever it takes to make sure that those I love have an easy a time as possible.

There are many other complications / considerations too but I wont rant about all of them - be assured!!!

Sorry - rant over

I'm really sorry to hear about all this, Light.

Thanks Ormy

Ach LHG. I'm sorry to hear all of this news

You know we're all thinking of you

Thanks all!

Just to finish off the week my mobile phone has been stolen

Friday evening we were at the theatre all evening - I had a production
meeting for the show I am stage managing and then while we were
checking something out on stage two lads came into the building and
tried to steal a lot of things - I went back to the room they were in
to find one with someones computer bag and my purse and I now know my
phone. They dropped the computer bad and after they had left the
building threw down my handbag - I guess as I had seen them. I then
heard a noise behind me and saw another chap in the box office. I
called for help and he barged passed me. We got their car
registration number and called the police. They were excellent -
there really fast (about 10 mins) and it took them almost 2 hours to
take statements etc. It did however make me feel old - the police men looked sooooooo young and they say when that happens you are getting old. The car has been used in a number of drive up robberies and I got a good look at both of the people.

I have a couple of bruises but at the end of the day it is only a phone and it could have been a whole lot worse - no major injuries, nothing that valuable stolen, just one whapping great load of inconvenience! I will get a replacement phone by the end of the week but will have lost the 300 odd contact number that were stored in it - that in itself is very annoying but I could really do without the hassle of not having a
phone when I have needed it this weekend

As I said to the policemen when I was asked how I felt - I needed this like a hole in the head!

Still not everything has been bad ...

Yesterday we helped at a charity theatre event. I designed and built a set (with a little help!) for 30 kids aged 7 and 8. They were doing a Christmas show which was a little sureal! The Grinch who stole Christmas. We had two performances and all things considered the kids were quite good. I dont know how much money we made but we just about filled the theatre twice and had a raffle. Maybe we will also get some new people to come into the theatre. At the end of the evening we had to strike the set. We went for a curry after and eventually got home about 14 hours after leaving it!

sounds like thats all you needed! Its never nice to people have been touching your stuff.I came hiome one evening last summer to find some kids had broken in n vandalised my flat! I hope they catch the buggers..

Thanks

The fineral was on Tuesday - a long and exhausting day. All OJ's family were touched by the number of people who came. OJ said some things at the funeral and he did a great job - it made the service / day really special and his Dad would have loved it. I am so proud of him.

You are doing really well, coping with all this *plus* work too.

Are you still in Brum? I have friends there who work in the theatre, i bet you know some of them!

take care, try and get some time for yourself to relax a bit, very difficult i know, but the last thing you need is a backlash effect physically.



Terri

Thanks Teri - I am having to be really careful to ensure I can cope physically - I would not be able to cope if every week was like this! Luckily I have not been travelling much with work, and have been able to work at home some - for example on Wednesday I was due in Brum but did not feel up to getting there so was able to work from home. I am a bit worried that I am not sleeping enough or well enough when I do, but I just need to monitor the situation and be really organised! I have found it quite hard to switch off this week but I am working on it!!!!

I do still work in Brum some of the time - I am usually there once or twice a week. I have even been asked to do some stuff with the Universtiy which should be fun and is rather flattering! The theatre I do a lot of stuff with is in Dunstable - near where I live, Its all amature and a great place to hang out - I have made some great friends there which has really helped me settle in this area. I guess I should really start a thread / journal about what we are doing there What do your frinds do at the theatre in Brum?