h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It was Christmas Eve babe, in the sloop inn. An old man said to me, "I'm getting beers in". And then I ordered one. A pint of tetleys smooth. I turned my face away. And drank my previous pint

Got in the main door. Came in at half past four. I've got a feeling. My round's the first one. So happy Christmas. With Yorkshire bitter. I see a better time. When all our pints are free

We've got beers big as Meres, we got rivers of booze. But the pints go right through you creating an ooze. When you first took my order on a cold Christmas Eve, you promised me a takeaway was waiting for me


You were weird, you were manky, Queen of Great Sankey, when we finished drinking, we cried out for more. My vision was swinging, the jukebox was singing, we slumped in the corner then spilled out our guts

And the boys on the barstools at the bar, were singing songs by slade. And the bells were ringing out for Christmas, Dave

That was simultaneously lovely and tragic.

B

It was Christmas Eve babe, in the sloop inn. An old man said to me, "I'm getting beers in". And then I ordered one. A pint of tetleys smooth. I turned my face away. And drank my previous pint

Got in the main door. Came in at half past four. I've got a feeling. My round's the first one. So happy Christmas. With Yorkshire bitter. I see a better time. When all our pints are free

We've got beers big as Meres, we got rivers of booze. But the pints go right through you creating an ooze. When you first took my order on a cold Christmas Eve, you promised me a takeaway was waiting for me


You were weird, you were manky, Queen of Great Sankey, when we finished drinking, we cried out for more. My vision was swinging, the jukebox was singing, we slumped in the corner then spilled out our guts

And the boys on the barstools at the bar, were singing songs by slade. And the bells were ringing out for Christmas, Dave

You're a pint
You're a half
You're quite likely to barf
Living there almost dead
With a pint mostly head

You drunkard
You mishap
You cheap lousy pissflap
Happy Christmas you've found
I pray God
It's your round


I could have been somewhere,
The sloop ain't anywhere
You took my cash
From me when I first came in
You kept it with you babe
We never bought our ownw
Can't make it all alone
I've built my round around you

The boys on the barstools at the bar still singing songs by slade and the bells are ringing out for Christmas, Dave

I thought that was worth a first hootoo post in 2 months

Have you spent all day on that?

B

Nope, it occurred during my fifth pint of tetleys