h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OK, so Michael Jackson got mentioned in last week's, but this one- truly bizarre.

OK_ first, I flash back to A-Level stats when we get onto the importance of "Normal Distributions" to Social Darwinists. I'm sure they're more bloody important to A-Level maths students!

Then, your man the lecturer puts out a casting call for an independent film he's trying to get funding for- something that's never happened in any of my lectures before, even the art ones.

Then, at the end of the lecture, when I go to volunteer myself for such a project, he takes down both my email addresses, plus my postal address and phone number. As I tell him my postal address, he says "I used to live in that road. In fact I may have lived in your flat- It was that flat number, but I can't remember which number house it was. Is your landlord ?

Surreal. That's what happens when i get up in the morning!

Have the locks been changed since then?

Oh god, you're making me paranoid now. The locks on the flat door have been changed, but he could probably get in the outside door and play the piano.

Is that some kind of euphemism?

No, there's a piano in the entrance hall, which from the sound that comes out when it's played, can't have been tuned in years (or maybe it's the fact that I can't play the piano)- mainly used for keeping post on.

Ah. One of those useless large items that you have no use for, but don't really notice anymore either.

Exactly.

I just realised that I could have answered "Is that a euphemism" eith "no, it's a musical instrument", but didn't think of it in time.

Ah, espirit d'escalier, or whatever it is.

I feel I should be insulted, but I should probably geta translation to be sure.

"the thought that comes on the stairs". It's French- it means the witty comment that you think of too late. Not an insult. Not this time

Ah, I though "escalier" was "snail", but that's "escargot", isn't it?

Yep. And that's about the extent of my French, apart from ordering a beer. Never was good at French, German's my thing.

What did you think I was calling you, the spirit of the snail?

Well, it would make sense in that I was being slow...

That's true. Assume that's what I said then

right ho