h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entries are being requested for the RTS Awards. I thought I'd have a go at the Picture Editing category, as I don't suck at the job, and I've produced some stuff that I'm actually quite proud of.

I then discovered that my 'superior' (in name only?) has also decided to put in for the contest, and as my 'superior' gets to work on things that are a lot better than what I get to work on. So I've decided not to enter.

Why? Because I'd rather be pissed off with not having entered, than with having lost to someone I work with. It's not a level playing field.

He, of course, wants me to enter, and I'm too much of a coward to tell him that the reason I'm not going to is because of him.

Am I getting too used to being the second fiddle? No, not really. I'm annoyed on a regular basis by the 'favouritism' that is demonstrated. And I suppose I'm also afraid that I might not actually be good enough to beat him, even if the playing field WAS level.

Damnnit, I wish I could just be the best at SOMETHING, even if it's just the 'best editing' fish in this small pond.

The danger with not being valued by the people you work with, is that sooner or later you start to feel that you HAVE no value, and OK, so work isn't everything, but as I spend half my day almost every day doing this job, such things start to matter.

I wonder why I bother caring? It's not getting me noticed, not that THAT's ever a reason for doing anything. I give a toss about what I do because to not care would be a worse alternative than caring too much. I'm getting passed over more and more often,too, so it seems to me.

Probably time for a change. But as I've written before, to do what? I'm too old to do anything else. B****r.