h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A534926

This is a practical guide on how to handle a dinner party where a dominatrix and her dog are in attendance. Had I read this before I went to my particular party, I would have avoided two major no-nos

ROTFL.... literally.

I can't even come up with any constructive comments at the moment. I can't even catch my breath....

I'll be back later....


Mikey

Oh my...

Poor dog! When you said he kept nipping out of the dining room and the hostess went after him and caught him .... I was prepared for cocking his leg up a chair. Poor dog!

The correct action for the hostess was to tell the mistress. if the "dog" was actively participating, then it was a social gaff for the hostess not to tell.
The main thing that you forgot to say is that whenever an unusual situation crops up, you should behave exactly as the other guests do. if they don't behaveas if anything is unusual, neither should you. if they don't feed the dog at the table, neither should you. I think the hostess made another gaff, by inviting you, without letting you know that something unusual might happen.

There's obviously more to this life business than first meets the eye... Should this level of consideration be extended to other role playing situations? Should we, for example, be expected to be as discreet if another guest at a Bar Mitzah happens to be a character from the adventures of Baron Munchausen? You can probably tell I don't get out much.

A very interesting read, Ashley. And one that could come in handy when one least expects it.

JTG

*waits for uncontrollable giggling fit to subside, clears throat and catches breath*.
Thanks Ashley, for a most entertaining and educational read. I too really should get out more.

*tries to keep a straight face*

One minor comment - the guideline entitled "Supremacy", while perhaps accurate, is more a question of dealing with weird women generally, rather than dogs in particular, surely? However, a note that anyone keeping a dog should probably be treated with especial caution is probable due.

The mistake I'd make in that situation is to make jokes - the problem here is that they'll both have heard every possible joke you can think of several times before, no matter how original you think they might be. So it goes.

I'd wonder whether a link to some kind of web resource on the subject might be appropriate - if you can find one which don't send the squacks into shock...

You can use google to find stuff about "dominatrix", and for more general stuff about unusual good behaviour, thr looking for "the way out club". both are good things to read about. Related to this entry, you might want to look up about "furry's" who get their kicks dressing in fur. Robert Heinlein summed up the proper response to most unusual situations in his book "space cadet", he said that you should "learn how to eat pie with a fork", which in the context he used it meant that you should look how the other people in the situation behave, and try to behave the same.

This is more likely a personal opinion but regarding "If mistress declares that she is the representative of Female Supremacy on Earth..."

I find laughing is a good response to anyone, male or female, who takes themselves too seriously.

Weird women? What about the bloke? He was the one on the end of the lead!

A good article, and next time, ask the Muse of Bondage before you go to dinner parties. I'm going to a fetish restaurant for my birthday at the end of May, there's likely to be a lot of that sort of thing. Anyone want to come??

Wow.
I really hope that never happens to me. I'd probably panic
Entertaining to read about it from someone else, though.

I'm glad it happened - one thing I didn't add (due to relevancy) was the fact that my friend, who was a little the worse for wear after a little too much chablis, committed the ultimate faux pas. My friend is famed for his candour/rudeness (depends on whether it is directed at you or not) and towards the end of the evening shouted at the top of his voice

'You look Ridiculous!'

Well, I tried to keep a straight face, honest, but then I couldn't hold it back and had to leave the room for a chuckle.

I'm not trying to get on my high horse or anything, but looking ridiculous or not, I bet he enjoyed himself more than anyone else that night.

Er... Interesting article

So was he a Great Dane or a Chihauha if you take my meaning? (Unoriginal joke no. 1274-493457-0)

Hello,

Here in New York, we have two fetish-themed restaurants. And three for Chinese food with Transvestite waiters. There are some strange niches in this town.

Yours,
Jake

Great article Ashley!

Sounds like a fun night!

~Beeblefish

Ashley, excellent stuff.

Some people in this forum may enjoy a dinner party yarn of mine. I've got the feeling a few of the guests attended both functions

It lives at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A539895

I'm sure this will be ashock to you ... but you'll be glad to know that we think this entry is great, and it has now gone into the Editorial Process for future inclusion in the Edited Guide. When it does get into the Edited Guide, we may email to let you know, but please bear in mind it can take a while for entries to go through the sub-editing system and those slow slow bods in head office! Thanks for writing for the guide!

~Beeblefish

Bias! Unfair!