h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... they've sort of got it right...
it used to be a form of pigeon english designed so that the
working stenders could have a right good chin wag without the toffs knowing that they were talking about them and usually planning to blag them on the spot, or a scam for 'Ron.
these days people just make it up for a laugh..
yknow how you have different names for things just so your parents don't know what the feck you're talking about. So streetwise young urban lundiners say things like "oh mate, 'ad a right mare didn't I, got chucked out me pad, blew me lump, and now fings wiv the trouble and strife have gone all pete tong!! "

Pidgin.

I'm not a pedant. I'm really not. I just tend to think that if I don't point things out, it will make it that much more likely for the mistake to become, in whatever bizarre manner, an embarassment of some sort to somebody in the future. I'd hate to think that such a thing would happen simply because I failed to point out a common mistake. So I do.

Er, carry on.

you woldnt say the whole word u wold say dog insed of dog and bone
u knock off the ryming bit

Sorry, what?

Say that to any streetwise young laandaner and they'd think you're having "a warm one" with them (warm bath=laugh).
Also London isn't the only place to have developed rhyming slang.
I've heard it in and around Edinburgh too, where they tend to say things like "yehr potted heid!!!" when they realise you're from England.

To describe a thing as "mustard" is to declare the positive virtues of that thing. "As sharp as mustard".
For example, "Got meself a new whistle (suit) at the weekend. It's mustard, it is."
Or, "Should see the new barmaid dahn the dog and shovel. She's MUSTARD!!!"
If, however, you are told that you "can't cut the mustard" then that should be taken to mean that you are unsuitable for the task at hand, such as drinking matches, bank jobs, international football riots etc.

There's a couple of rhyming slang words that are in general use but people don't know what they mean when explained. "How are you me old china, me old cock?"

OK china > china plate = mate
cock > cock sparrow = marrow (marrow?!)

this is a word used more up north now than in London and it means partner to or image of. e.g. People often have one sock in their hand while looking for its marrow.

Anyone know any more?