h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey Dastardly! How are you? I want to thank you for all the messages you sent while I was in the clinic! I also wrote something back to you, but I have the impression it never reached you because of the email difficulties on my computer and the problems my father's been having! I'm back now! I am feeling very positive about the future!

Hi
Sorry to hear you've had problems with your email. I hope you got all mine, but if you didn't the most recent was about an hour ago, a long ramble saying very little of any relavence but also saying I'm glad you're back I've missed you lots.

Nope, never received anything from you. Glad to hear it's not because I've done anything awful.

I'll post you something substantial tomorrow, but I can't be online too long right now. Just know that I'm thinking about you.

How am I? ~~~~~~ (that's a homemade wobbly sign). I have a glimmer of hope-it's friday. I can sleep all day tomorrow.

I'll get back to you tomorrow after I wake up.

Hello! I certainly did not get all of your emails. The last one I got is more than a week old! My email still does not work. Also, I'm falling asleep ... medicine working. I too will talk tomorrow ... is that a deaL?

Hey, how are you now?

Hi Pillowcase Nice to see you back, and with a less depressing name. I'll have to update the bit on my page where it says about your name now, since it won't make any sense.

The emails I've sent have been about pretty mundane stuff really. Along with the messages of support, they dealt with wax pictures (don't ask), rugs, Amnesty International (I joined), university...just general chat really. Nothing of utmost importance.

Anyway, today I'm poorer than I was yesterday- got the phone bill (I volunteered to pay the family internet charges when it was installed, in a fit of uncharacteristic generoity). It wasn't remorgage the house size, but nethertheless it's not nice to get bills at my age
(speaking of 'my age', it's my birthday in one month four days....and counting)

Sorry to hear about your condition I'll do my best to not be a trigger, to talk about happy things, and whatever else I'm supposed to be doing.

Got a giant physics project to do on an aspect of my choice-I chose lasers- so I'm thanking my lucky stars that both my guardees like physics. If I assign you half the project each, you can hand it to me in a week, alright? Maybe not....

Seen the new smileys ? Very apt. There's also a and a . And have you seen the nice red shiny badge on my page? That's what I've been doing this evening, looking for entries to recommend. It's nice to have power [evil laugh removed by moderator on the grouds that this is a family site, and that laugh's much too scary].

I'm having a think about doing some travelling. I'll have to take a year out before university, so I may as well do something constructive with it. What do you think? I was wondering about South America, but I don't speak any Spanish so I'll have to either learn some, or go somewhere where I can get by with English and limited French. Have to get a job for some of the year to pay for it all but then I'll be freeeeee.

Well, I still would like to see those emails! I did in fact see the one about the wax pictures. You know what? I think I have the reply here ... if I can get it, I'll send it to you in a while!

Look, you don't have to worry much about my mental condition ... nothing you've ever said ever came anywhere remote to what would 'trigger' me! Unless I receive a large amount of triggering stuff within a short span of time, I'm pretty much as solidly grounded as anyone else! And I will protect myself from now on against excessive negativity.

Hey, ask about lasers by all means! I can tell you whatever you would like to know! (I hope!) I'll even be happy to do some online research ... I can do with being better informed myself!

Congratulations on your new-found power! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaa!!!! That's my own evil laugh TONED DOWN for family viewing!

Jeez, everybody gets to travel! I am sitting here in Pietersburg without even the finances to regularly go to Messina, a mere hundred miles north of here! I would still like to see many places in my own province! And you get to even consider going to South America! It ain't fair!!!

Well, I don't have any finances at the moment. So I'll have to get a job, but that shouldn't be too hard. And it would be nice to see some of the world before I get sucked into the rat race.

Anyway, here for your viewing pleasure is a condensed summary of the emails I sent you, with a sign for bit I've ommited because I don't want them there for everyone to read;

*******

Willem

Long day, huh?
I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, and I thank God that lots of people were. I have no idea what to write but give it my best shot.

I'll never curse slow servers again.

May as well lose the Dastardly, and stick to calling myself , it being my name and all. Also, less letters to type so less chance of spelling it wrong. You know the login box for h2g2? Every time I start typing Dastardly in I get a load of scrambled suggestions come up, all my previous spelling mistakes. They're only typos though, lest you should think I can't spell in real life.

Thanks for letting me know how you are. I had to leave the computer before I heard, so it was a major relief logging on to messages saying you were OK.

Heard from Tony (GTBacchus) yet? I got a massage from him yesterday, saying he's arrived in Nairobi, but I haven't replied yet which is bad of me. Anyway, he seems to be having a great time, adventures and all. Just in case you're interested.

Sorry for mixing irrelavencies with the important things. It's a terrible habit of mine, my mind rushes back and forth and the words just spill out. Also I have no idea what tone to take. Reassurance? Humour? Seriousness?
So if I'm insensitive please tell me so because I'm all at sea.

And don't go reading those war books at the moment. You can live without world affairs, just concentrate on you. You're worth it (sorry. That sounded just like a shampoo ad, but you know what I mean, I hope).




Willem
I'm glad the place is nice, but you didn't mention anything about the food.
I don't know about in SA but in Britain hospital food is notoriousely bad,
just varying colours of sludge.
The school has set up an Amnesty International group for sixth-formers so I
joined that yesterday. Doing my bit for humanity...no tea and biscuits
though, I would have thought they were compulsory in organisations like
that.

I've now found a way to indulge my arty side without getting paint over an
entire room- encaustic painting. Basically you get an iron (no holes in the
bottom) put some coloured wax on it from an art shop and make a wax picture.
It actually looks quite good at the end, and I haven't burnt myself on the
iron yet, which is very good considering my usual clumsiness. Now I have to
work out how my friends and family will all feel receiving waxy christmas
cards....the older ones will no doubt like it (they love homemade things)
but I think the younger people will be distinctly unimpressed.

Tony sent you a message but it's on h2g2 so I'm not sure you will have
received it. I'll tell him to email you so your dad can find them. Anyway,
I've now heard from him again, and he's had some adventures, got conned but
not too badly and generally seems to be loving it. Lucky b*****d. Me?
Jealous?

I'm off to York on tuesday for the university open day, it's miles and miles
but we can just about make it in a day if we go by train (I'm too cowardly
to go on my own).

I seem to have been at h2g2 much too long because I find myself really
missing the smileys....cunningly placed punctuation marks just aren't the
same.

Take care, and wishing you a swift recovery

Still your angel ^o^
(Actually that looks more like a bat, so you'll have to use your imagination
a bit).



Willem

Hello again. Nothing much seems to have happened since I last wrote to you, so I'll have to improvise. Hmm. Well, here's some music to start with Lalalalaldeedeeehummmmm. Nice, huh? I can't sing, so be thankful that you're just reading it all. I prefer to play piano, but then everyone else seems to feel the need to sing along. I quite often play the theme from 'Phantom of the Opera' (have you seen that? It's really good), and I can guarantee that someone will come bursting into the room singing it, just to be funny (my family is quite loud, which is why everyone's always amazed at how little I talk)..
Well, you've had your musical interlude. Now I suppose I'd better say something of value. Well, er... actually it's quite amazing how few things of value I know. I can recite all the competitors in the Wacky Races, I can go on about football and formula one for hours, and I can fall asleep in a lesson without even the person sitting next to me noticing, but when it comes to things of any value...I'm all out. Oh well. If I think of soemthing worthwhile to say I'll be in touch.
Lots of love



Willem

Hope you're getting better *crosses fingers*. If the food is truly awful then all you have to do is say the word, and I'll send some supplies by carrier pigeon. I have no idea how long it would take a fully-laden swallow to fly to Africa, suppose it depends if it's an African or European one. (sorry, that was a pointless Monty Python reference).

I hope my messages are reaching you, and hopefully not making your problems any worse. If they are, then the best thing you could do would be to destroy them. Actually, maybe you'd be better off doing that anyway- I mean, what if, in a thousand years time, they were found, and some snooty archeologist thought they were typical of all twentieth century people? Their computers could probably read all sorts of things into it, and conclude that twentieth century people were almost illiterate, almost certainly on drugs, and probably repressed homosexuals (because people seem to love taking people from the past and concluding that they were repressed gays. I don't know about in South Africa, but here over here there are lots of programmes alledgedly giving us all a new insight into the life of [insert name from the past here]. They almost always conclude that the person from the past was horrible, bad at whatever it was they were famous for being good at, and gay.)

Now for once, a semi-serious message. Hurrah, I hear you cry. It's just something about Dragan I thought you might be interested in- not a problem or anything, just a development.


Thinking of you





Willem
Hi. Just read the message your father posted on your journal, nice to know I got a mention Sorry your dad can't get in touch, but I'm assuming you're getting all my messages OK? Well, if you're not then you won't see this and therefore won't be able to reply, so I guess that was a stupid question.
The wax pictures are going well, still haven't burnt myself, and now I've started making a rug (not out of wax though). Jemima Puddleduck of Beatrix Potter fame, although I've only got to her feet so far, working upwards. Maybe that's an incredibly sad thing to do but it's winter, there's constant rain, and I am not keen on dragging myself outside the house for anything.

Been thinking about you lots, praying and hoping that you're OK. Again I don't know what to say, so I'll ramble and if all else fails I can deny knowledge of ever sending the email and blame hackers.

I've been to a university, and great fun it was too. About as far away from where I live now as I can get whilst staying in the same country, but still, it's rather nice. And if I'm going to flee the nest, I may as well do it properly. There was a great big lake in the middle, and I didn't get lost at all looking round, so maybe that's the one The students were scary though, they all looked so much older than me. Scaryscary.

Got my university references as well, my physics teacher said that 'oral contribution is her weakest area, where her extreme shyness restricts her from taking part in class discussions. She dislikes giving presentations'. Charming. But my other references were better, so maybe there won't be room for that little comment.

I've been to some more Amnesty International meetings, and got duped into taking a petition round my year. So I'm pestering everyone I know plus the ones I haven't spoken to in over four years of being at school with. It's not got to the stage where they run in the other direction yet...but give it time.
There's a big prom-like thing in a few weeks which I am majorly stressing about. They say dates aren't compulsory, but even so.... as earlier mentioned, in real life I have a 'chronic shyness' which kind of makes it difficult talking to people, so an event like this is a nightmare. But I have to support the sixth form, so I'll go nonetheless.

Update; I started this two days ago, now you're out so if the stuff before is irreleven then sue me The next stuff is what I'm writing now, 12 Oct
Welcome back, I've missed you loads. Sorry I haven't written to you as much as some people, it doesn't mean I don't care. My Granny is always lecturing me about how I never send postcards to her..... my most recent excuse was that I was protesting against the Royal Mail changing its' name to Consignia....she didn't believe me though. Preferred to doubt my good word. She is very wise.

Anyway, it's nothing personal. I don't seem to write to anyone. Now you're out, you can help me with my physics homework (only joking....I'll get GTBacchus to instead). Big lasers project uurrgh.

Anyway, get in touch if you can, and I'm ever so sorry you've been having problems with my email.

, or Dastardly if you prefer.

*****
And that. my friend, is the complete set of message. Not as many as I should have sent, but that's your lot.
As an aside, have you ever read 'Catch 22'? Because going through that with my censors eye, it just felt like when the bloke went through and deleted every single word except the ones that made it look like the rest of the message was interesting.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll understand that there are some things that aren't for h2g2. Like my name. I know it's there at FoLKZ for all to see, but even so, I don't like it being used here. For a start, it's a bloody stupid name. But better than Andrew, which is what I was going to be called if I was a boy. I mean, at least my name is a little unusual, but not completely.

Sorry about the rest of the messages not reaching you. I guess they're floating around in cyberspace somewhere, grouping together, ready to attack....sorry. Got carried away there.

Take care, and I'm sorry for the delay in replying, I was busy doctoring these messages (and tidying up my spelling- the first lot were pretty appalling).

Hey, thanks a lot for that! Don't be so down on yourself! Your letters are all great and those that I did receive, cheered me up, and those that I didn't receive, would have if I received them!

Also, I like your real name!

I can't reply to all that right now, but I will look for those replies I wrote and post them here later tonight!

I now have email again - I set up a hotmail account. I will put my new email address on my userspace.

I'll talk more later tonight!

Well, it's later tonight now, but I'm in no condition to talk much! I am ultra-dazed and drowsy because of my medications, so I just want to apologise for not having posted what I wanted to post! I'll see what I can do tomorrow!

Love,

Willem

Awww. Anything I can do?
Anyway, you look after yourself. The rest of the world can wait.

Hey thanks for the offer ... don't worry, I'll get used to my medicine sometime!

Again I don't have those replies at hand!!! I am now in my father's office at the University of the North. Yesternight it was raining, so I couldn't log on. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow night ...

But anyways, I was saying that those wax paintings can be really neat and I was ordering you to do them so good that the young ones would have no choice but to be impressed! And also, I was telling you about the food: it was in fact very good food! We got cooked meals, very varied, and tasty, and rather healthy. Not as healthy as my ordinary diet, but much better than, for instance, the food I got in the university dorm in 1991 and 1992. We even got dessert every day! I often ended up eating two desserts ... many of the women patients didn't want theirs, and I was quick enough to score them! I once even got *three* desserts! I gained a bit of weight in there, even though I went jogging almost every morning!

The only problem with the meals was that they were not as high in fibre as my ordinary meals ... you may know I'm a vegetarian, but I gave that up while I was in Denmar, and I ate their regular meals that included a lot of meat and not so much vegetables. So towards the end of my stay I got some problems with elimination, but they're clearing up now, since I'm back on my regular vegetarian diet.

I am rather serious about health, diet, exercise and so on, so I hope you forgive my references to intimate bodily workings! If I survive for much longer, I'll have a lot more to write about such topics. I'm aiming to live past a hundred! I think I'll be able to do that, unless some disaster happens.

Okay ... at least I wrote a longish reply this time! Next time I'll try and write one that isn't just long, but *interesting* as well!

Love,

Willem

Hey, that was interesting.
Glad to hear about the food. I'm extremely fond of food, as you may have noticed. Yeah, I'm veggie too, but I'm not finikity on being healthy- I just eat whatever's easiest for me to cook, and if it makes me fat or ill I don't eat it again. Except cheese and cookies. Enough of them would make me fat yet I still eat them (not both at once though). One of the subjects I do is biology, and for last eyars exams I there was a module about diet, so I had to learn all the stuff about food groups, and I still know it- I just don't seem to be able to apply it to everyday life.

Long day today, been across the water to the nearest city, traipsed around watching my mother and sister spend money, carried some of their shopping back...now my feet hurt so I'm sat down.

Yesterday the postman brought the long awaited parcel- the chronicles of Narnia (kids books I absolutely loved). I read five of them yesterday- I'm so ashamed, and my family took great delight in laughing at me for it. I read incredibly fast, which is handy sometimes but also embarressing, because I can be sat there in a lesson doing nothing because I've read my bit and have to wait for the others in the class. It was a day off school though, so I couldn't possibly do anything worthwhile, and it was raining, and cold...so I stayed in and before I knew it I was finishing the fifth. That's not supposed to be boasting, it's no credit to me that I read fast. I guess it makes up for me running slowly


Been a long week though. And I think I'm losing my memory, which is pretty worrying at my age. Maybe I've finally murdered one too many brain cells...I do something, I know I've done it because the evidence is there, and yet I can't for the life of me remember doing it. My brains' way of telling me to get some more sleep

Take care

Hello Dastardly! Well, I am feeling really down and depressed and weary right now, so I can't really write a very long reply. Anyways, I would also like to read all the chronicles of Narnia ... so far I've read only one, and I can't even remember which one it was ... so I guess my memory is going, too! But maybe I'll be able to remember again when I feel a bit better! In my case it's not a lack of sleep ... I'm sleeping a *huge* amount nowadays! I guess it's due to some disappointments and setbacks that I experienced recently.

Hey, I'm sorry. You've got more than enough on your plate without more stuff. If you need to talk, make sure you do. You're ever so welcome to talk to me, either here or by email, but if you don't want to then make sure you find someone you can talk to.

Anyway, here's a , not as effective as a real life one, but nethertheless, well meant.

Oh, you probably read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. That's the most famous one.

Please take care of yourself. Please.

And I'll write you something more later when you're feeling up to reading it.

My memory is majorly on the blink. Wierd things which I'll explain to you in the absence of anyone else who wouldn't laugh (you can laugh a little if you like).

Well, for one thing, I have an electric blanket for my bed. Yes, take the p**s all you want, but it's cold over here and naturally I don't yet have a boyfriend/husband to warm the bed up. Now this blanket has a switch along the wire with setting 0-1-2-3, 0 being the off setting.

Now I never ever use that switch, it's stiff and awkward to get at, I just switch it on and off at the mains, and yet every few days I'll switch it on at the mains and it won't work, and I'll find the side switch has been set to 0. Now I have tried every possible thing to see if it could be accidental, and have some to the conclusion it's not. I've definitely also ruled out my family, so it must be me setting it down and forgetting about it. This would make sense because I am mildy obsessive about things like fire hazards, but I can never remember doing it.

If that were the only example then I could live with it, but before I've got up, done things, sat back down and realised I don't remember it at all. Only by reasoning things out- ie I am no longer thirsty and there is an empty cup by my side so I must have had a drink- can I prove to myself it happened.

I've had important exams nearly all year so I put it down to stress, but it's getting worrying. Will you please reassureme that I'm not completely crackers?

Anyway, since I'm your angel I really shoulnd't be talking about myself. So, I hope you are well. Unfortunately it would seem otherwise- your postings at FoLKZ have been a bit tense BTW though, I thought your post explaining how your multiples worked was good- interesting I mean. And I'm glad you're getting so much support

LeKZs last postings freaked me out though- did you feel the same or am I being oversensitive? The ones about some hidden multiple somewhere, or something along those lines? Menacing. Not a big deal but there was just something, they seemed scarier than all the other nasty posts in FoLKZput together. But hey, everyone's having a rough time, so I'm sure I can live with a few words.

Also, I said before, but I will say again a little more verbosely; you are a very talented artist. I mean, you earned TWO smileys together at your journal, so obviousely you're something apart from the norm.
In all seriousness, I think your paintings are great.

Hello Dastardly! Well, I've been in a bad spot for the last 24 hours or so, which you may know about. I'm unfortunately still very paranoid and easy to upset, and it seems poor Tony was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I sent him two emails explaining things, I hope I soon hear from him again. Meanwhile thanks for you for also being his guardian angel and I hope you did your job well!

What was it that LeKZ said that upset you so? I can't remember anything about any hidden alter. By the way, the word is 'alter', not 'multiple' - 'multiple' applies to the entire person/system, not to the individual alters.

I think I can explain LeKZ's current situation to you, by email - I will not reveal anything that was revealed to me in confidentiality, I will only explain the postings that are up at topica a bit more clearly. There is really nothing menacing in them. Unless I am missing something major.

About your own 'forgetfulness' - no I don't think you're completely crackers, I have the same sort of thing a lot! Of course, in my case it can be some of my alters that are momentarily taking command of a situation while 'I' am daydreaming!

Thanks for liking my painting! I have been neglecting it a bit lately ... I was just too distracted to do anything useful today.

How are things going with you at the moment?

Hi Willem
Yeah, I heard you've been in a spot of trouble... Sorry if I nagged you on FoLKZ...I'm worried about you, that's all. If there's anything I, or anyone, can do, don't be too proud to ask.
Nah, I don't think there was anything menacing in LeKZ's posts...I've just been jumpy for a few days.
I'm going to sign off and go to bed.

No worry about the nagging! Thanks for worrying! There's often a lot you can do ... I really liked the emails you sent, and I like 'talking' (writing, to nitpick) to you, in general... at the very least, it helps me to think of something else besides my problems!

I like talking with you, too. And I really owe you a proper post, don't I, since I've been writing just a few lines recently.

Well, as you know I've been gloomy, but I still don't want to go into it. I've started a uni project here,on Greek mythology which is the sort of thing I like. Far more interesting that monotheism. Just imagine having a god for anything you can think of. God of toenails? There must be one there somewhere

I'm supposed to be doing my lasers project still...haven't though. I guess I'll do it all the night before it's supposed to be in...it's weird. I'm ultra prepared to take on extra work for the guide, but when it comes to securing my future I can't be bothered

I've done my christmas shopping- how sad is that? It's October and I've done it. I also, for the first time this year, started playing christmas carols on the piano. *sigh* It's miles away and yet it's on the adverts for TV, and it's stir up sunday soon, and it's all cold....

I'm the most pathetic person I know except for the people related to me.

Anyway, I hope you're feeling a bit better- and don't get stressed over Wonko. He's just an attention-seeker.

Sorry, lurking. I'm grovelling now, which isn't good. I came here off the back of the Oasis, so apologies.

There was a lot of interesting points in the Postings above, but they weren't directed at me, so I won't answer! The only thing that I will point out is that I started a thread in July or thenabouts, for a new pantheon. I'll see if I can seek it out!

Oh, and I didn't realise you were in GB, Dastardly! Small clue in the name of Consignia!

x x Fenny (ZI)