h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello Dastardly.
I have something to tell you, that you may find to be false, but I promise you it is not.
You commented on my toast liking so I came to read about who you were and found myself quite impressed.
I am the biggest Beatle fan ever, as well as Monthy Python, and I too like donuts.
This is beside the point.
A few weeks ago my band and I got together to celebrate, just because we like to have any excuse to drink that we can. I've yet to remember what we were celebrating.
Either way, I was in the kitchen making muffins and my friends were watching some program on T.V. We weren't sure what it was, again because of the excessive drinking, but we'd come to the conclusion that the scary man on the T.V. was an alien. My bassist's said, "Of course he's an alien his name is Dick Dikkymore, only stupid aliens would have a name like that, no wait, I didn't mean stupid." We even wrote it on the kitchen wall so as not to forget.

Oh damn my story has changed, you're Dastardly not Dikkymore, . . . I had high hopes there momentarily that you would be able to help solve the Dikkymore mystery. *hangs head and is sad*
Sorry to have disturbed you.

*backs away slowly*
I'm sure that'll make sense when I read it again.

I was wrong. It didn't.

You have a band? What do you do in it? (I'm looking for something other than 'drink' etc. Although that is, admittedly rather a good constructive pastime.)

Hello again.
I am a guitarist. I have been playing guitar for the past 8 years.
I'm only 20 though, I started young.
But my band sucks. I have been so determined for so long to be in a band, that I've been reduced to a bunch of friends that have decided to LEARN how to play instruments just recently, and yet, don't realize that practising is a necessary asset in the learning process.
As well as deciding on a genre. (I don't think I spelled that right.)
Last year we were a metal band, this year we've been punk and ska and rock and well, . . . undecided.
As long as we're not pop, we don't mind, not that we have anything against pop and the people who listen to it, it's just not something we wish to persue.
I apologize for my incoherent thought patterns, it's morning here and my brain hasn't decided to start working yet.
As well as disturbing news I recieved this morning, that I know you don't want to hear but I'm going to insist on relaying anyway.
I go to the Ontario College of Art and Design.
(that's in Canada)
And a friend of mine, who's more of a pain in the bum, then a friend, has just been accepted to enroll for next year.
I should be happy for her I know, . . . but I'm not. She's spoiled and needs constant praising, and now that she's been accepted, though I've already been attending for the past year and will continue to be a year a head of her, she is going to sit on her almighty pedistal and act like she's God of the art world.
Even though, and this is not coming from me, because I am ridiculously modest, I have been told that I am a MUCH better artist then her. Though my passion lies with photography.
So I have been grumbling like a baby all morning, only because she is about to become VERY difficult to deal with.

I just read that over and realized I sound rather spoiled myself.
I apologize.

Does anyone know what the time difference is between Canadians and the British? And is British the right word? Please forgive my ignorance. It's still morning and I'm still suspiscious if the rest of the world really exists. Oh, and good luck on your exams!!

Well, you posted that 4 hours ago. It's 7pm here now, so it was 3pm here then. So when it's morning in your house it's midafternoon at my house.
I thought you must be from somewhere like that because all you postings seemed to me to be at ridiculous times, like 3 in the morning or something.

I know bands like yours. Even if they have a 'different' sound, they're usually great fun to listen to.
I'm not in a band. I can't sing. I can't dance. I play the piano, but that doesn't really lend itself to being in a band.

We all have friends like that. I have one who sits next to me in most lesson, because we do the same AS's,(due to me not taking her into account when I picked) and she is a nuisance.
She's not unfriendly, and I feel bad when I snap at her becasue she's so nice to me, but she just treats me like I have no brain. Whenever she understands something in class she explains it to me. Whenever she doesn't get something she assumes I don't.
When she gets a bad grade (ie that'd be less than an A)in a class test she moans for ages about how c**p it is then congratulates me on my own (worse) grade.
And then when I beat her in the exams she couldn't believe it. And told me so. Then backtracked, and said she meant she couldn't believe she'd done badly, but I knew she really couldn't believe I beat her.


Sorry. I'm sure you weren't the slightest bit interested in that, but just writing it was good therapy for me. That'll save the NHS money in paying for my therapy.
(actually we don't have therapy much here. We just send the mentally imbalanced ones into politics.)

I bet you're a better artist than her. I like to sketch myself, I take terrible photo's.

I don't actually draw myself, I draw other people.
(sorry but I just read my post through and realised how stupid that sounded. The sort of thing that invites comments from smart a**es)

I passed a student yesterday, learning how to drive, and I got an overwhelming urge to throw myself onto the hood of the car and roll off screaming and yelling, "I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS, I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!!!" only to traumatize the young driver for the rest of his life.
However, I did not, due to the fact that I had my glasses in my front coat pocket and I didn't want to damage them, as effective as that might have been.
At the moment, there is a doggy fashion show on my television, and I mean, there are DOGS dressed up in little dresses and tuxcedo's and leather jackets, and I believe I am going to be quite disturbed for the rest of the day.
It is almost 11 in the morning here, which means very shortly Jenny Jones will be on, . . . a talk show that specializes in sending uncontrollable teens, (drug addicted, dangerous and sexually active) to boot camp to "straighten up their lives." I really must stopped watching television, and focus on something more productive.
I did however do a photo shoot two days ago, making a friend of mine sit in a bathtub full of cold water, in the dark, as she agreed to pose for me. Silly people, when will they learn!!

Band practise panned out YET AGAIN!!!! As half of my members went missing. So strap your piano to your back, and head over to Canada!!!
This goes for anyone willing to play a musical instrument, you're ALL IN!!!!

Desperate? YES!!! Perhaps I'll go be productive to take my mind off things. Are British phone booths red?? They are on t.v. and I wish Canadian phone booths were red, they're so much prettier!!!
Please forgive the insane amount of ignorance.

You are truly evil.

A friend and I have a plot against the cleaners in our school. We both do A-level biology in one of the labs, and in that lab there are windows, and one of the windows is tiny with the blind always pulled right down. It happens to be right behind us.

So, we did what anyone else would do. We planted cress seeds there. (well, placed them on a bit of blotting paper there anyway.) The idea was to test how long the cleaners would take to find them, and if they took ages they would one day open the blind and.... see a forest of green stuff growing there.

I thought it was a brilliant battle plan, but it hasn't been that brilliant in practise, largely because the cress have let us down by not growing. They've been there three weeks and not even a shoot.
Ungrateful bloody seeds.

I water them every time I have biology, although they always end up all dry and crispy by the next time I get there, so I can see why they haven't really grown.

A dog fashion show? I thought we had it tough, but that's just disturbing. Why would people do that? And Jenny Jones? That sounds like *ahem* quality programming.

Do pianos float? If so I could chuck it in the river and sit on it and float out to sea to Canada. I do, however, have grave doubts about it's buoyancy. I have enough trouble shifting it every now and again to get out whatever vital document has fallen down the back to know that on the whole pianos are pretty heavy.

We have a suspicious lack of red phone boxes in Britain, in general. You see them every now and again, but on the whole they're impersonal corporate monstrosities which is why they get vandalised. You don't see red phone boxes vandalised, because they're pretty and we like them, but the nasty other ones? Pah!

We do have red post boxes though (no other colour EVER), and the buses in my area are often red double deckers.

You think you're ignorant? You obviousely haven't met me then. I know nothing about Canada, except that you spell things properly and you had that advert a while ago about how great Canada is and how you're not like America.

Some mysterious advert, . . . sounds diabolical to me.
Cause they surely don't play it here, nor would they DARE to show it in America. We do however have a lot of "Part of Our Heritage" commercials, which are very informative, actually I quite like them. Telling us how we helped in the underground railroad, and that we invented basketball, and that Winnie the Pooh is infact Canadian, plus lots of other interesting little tid-bits!!

Perhaps if you filled your piano with popcorn, it would help it to float, . . . PLUS you'd have a delicious treat to munch on, while on your Atlantic adventure. And when you got bored, you could play, "What do you do with a drunken sailor?" Or perhaps you don't know that one. I think pirate's would appreciate it. ARRR!! *said all pirate-y*

Blue paint taste's like COLD. I was painting with it one day and someone asked me what I thought it would taste like, so I dabbed it on my tongue and there's no better way to describe the taste, other then "cold."
And then I stopped eating paint.
However, I think your mystery garden was a wonderful idea, even though it didn't quite work. Have you ever thought of a rabid woodland creature? You could fed it miscellaneous teachers until someone notices.

I am now Keeper of Toast. *teehee* Thank you for bringing that to my attention. And I'm working on my first entry, well, first I'm going to check that it hasn't already been done, but if not, I'm going to discuss the Ontario Phone Booth!!! Are there no ways to provide pictures with your entry?
I feel so naive.

And hungry, my mom bought cheerio's and left them on the table for me, and then, as unhumanly cruel as she could be, forgot to buy milk.
A house without milk, and a bowl full of cheerio's, my life is so unsatisfying. I have never seen a red double decker bus in my life, well not in person, I've seen them on T.V. and in the movies. I wonder if it's an english patent, and that's why you see them no where else? One day I'll visit, just to be the tacky tourist I was always meant to be.

Our mailboxes are red as well, I think it's the Americans that have the blue ones. But the Queen is still on some of our money, and we celebrate Victory day, which is just an excuse for everyone to get a long weekend and drink at their cottages. Sadly, I do not have a cottage, but I hope to someday!!! And a hammick, . . mmmmm hammick, what a wonderful way to waste a day!

We have a bad preimere, he's taking away our nurses and education, and completly getting rid of music and art in high school's, . . . he's not very liked, but he sucks up to rich people so he keeps getting voted back in to office. He's making everyone on welfare (financial assistance) get finger printed and drug tested, . . . which is absolutely ridiculous, there are thousands of people on welfare, and he just wants to keep track of them so they can never become anything more.
It's not looking terribly good at the moment.
Sorry for the rambling.

TPTB seem to have removed your posting. Maybe they'll put it back later, but I'll just have to try and remember what it said. That'll teach me not to reply straight away. I wonder what was wrong with it. I seem to remember you metioning your premier. Perhaps your opinion wasn't balanced enough for auntie.(the bbc)

As for pictures, you can go here to use the h2g2 illustrations
http://www.bb.co.uk/h2g2/guide/C809
Other pictures aren't allowed,not photos either.
If you write an entry you think is rather good then put it up for peer review, the banner's at the top of this page. That way it could get into the edited guide.
You haven't seen that advert? Maybe I dreamt it. Although that doesn't seem likely because I saw it on the news, and I don't often
dream about the news it has to be said. Maybe it was just that there was no real news that day so they made up some foreign news.

Cheerios and no milk? awww. Although, since you mentioned you were twenty, some might say you were old enough to get your own milk. Anyway, don't you have milkmen? Or is your one on strike or something?
My parents have before gone away for the weekend or whatever leaving me a great big pot of jam, which I love, but they get it from the same place every time and that place happens to put the lid on incredibly tight so I spend the whole weekend staring at the jam unable to open it.

Filling my piano with popcorn would make it float, eh? If I filled half with sweet and half with salted I could have a bit of variety during my journey as well. If you see a piano floating downstream with a person asleep on top you can be sure it's me. Or I could commandeer one of the red funnel boats. That sounds like quite a good option aswell.
My choices are endless.

Actually, I don't think commandeering a red funnel ferry is such a brilliant idea.
I live on an island (not Britain before you say it, since we're always hearing how small we are from people who live on continents. I mean a proper, little island which you want apparently walk around in a day, although I never have because it seems a stupidly long way. Poeple do it every year thoug, some for charity and some because they like walking), and the red funnel ferrys take us to the mainland. For an hour they inprison us. There's a cafe shop and bar, but they're REALLY REALLY expensive (becasue they know you can't go anywhere else to buy stuff) and so it turns out to be lots of money just to go to the mainland. And they don't go very fast, I think It'd take quite a while to get to Canada. Maybe I'll stick with the piano.

Is it only blue paint that tastes cold? Does red taste hot? And which one tastes like chicken? I need answers!

(How are you getting on here at h2g2? Finding your way around OK?)

Sorry. That link would be
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/c809

Oh I feel incredably bad if I offended someone.
I didn't intend to, I didn't even use the derrogaroty remarks that are usully associated with such conversation. And I would never say anything bad about the Prime Minister, he's the one that's in charge of all of Canada. A premiere is the man in charge of individual provinces or territories.
Either way, I apologize.

Milkman? We don't have milkmen. We have grocery stores dedicated to the selling of foods. All types, from meats to vegetables, to breads to all forms of dairy. I think we might have had milkmen in the 60's, but it stopped shortly after that. My friend's house has a two foot door attached to the wall outside, and it opens up to a tiny little room, apparently this is where milk was left, but such a thing is seen EXTREMELY RARLEY around here. I had to ask my mom what it was for.

And I know I'm 20, I also don't have a car or lisence, and the closest grocery store is far away, the milk would be warm before I got it home. I COULD buy it from a convienience store, but they sell it much more expensive and my mom would have been quite mad at me when she got home, for needing the milk so badly. She'd think I were crazy, more so then I probably already am.
Plus I don't have much money. I just quit my job.
I used to be a photographer at a chain of stores here called Sears. They're famous for their portrait studios. But 80% of their clientel are babies and small children, and after about a year of being told it's MY fault for other people's children not smiling like they do at home, I decided I wanted to work elsewhere.
Unfortunately, I don't have an elsewhere, and I've been job searching for quite some time.

Yes, this means I do nothing all day, and get a good long "responsibility" lecture from my mom every night when she gets home. But it's not like I'm not trying, I've handed out numerous resumes, it's just cheaper for companies to pay high school students "minimum wage" then college students, because of the age difference, so I find a lot of my friends are having more difficulty then before. I hope that doesn't offend anyone either, because it was valid and not opinionated. I was only trying to explain.

I don't do NOTHING all day. I read and take pictures and am currently learning how to work on car engines.
*My mom is sitting across the room reading the job listings out loud for my benefit, even though I did not ask her to*

And I'm not entirely sure what red paint tastes like. But I did lick a highlighter once (a marker) and it had no taste.
Not that I tend to go around eating numerous writing utensils, I was walking down the hall of my high school at the time and there was a boy, standing in the doorway of his classroom holding a highlighter in his hand, I'm not quite sure what he was saying, but it had something to do with the highlighter, so I grabbed it from his hand, drew a long pink line down the middle of my tongue, gave it back and continued walking. It seemed appropriate.

You live on a island? That sounds beautiful!! I live in the city, well just east of it, so it's close enough. Popular moods of transportation are cars, trains, buses and subways.
I have to take the train everyday when I'm in school. And it takes about an hour so I spend two hours commuting in a single day, and that doesn't include taking the subway once I get into the city.
I don't mind it so much in the summer, because the scenery is really pretty, unfortunately the majority of the school year is in the winter, so I get really depressed for the last portion of it. It's cold and dark and REALLY COLD!!!! Did I mention cold? *shivers*
You think being Canadian I'd be used to it, . . . but not so much.
We got a tremendous amount of snow this year.
Plus I have to walk a short distance to the school, and I'm usually carrying something big and awkward, and trying not to fall over from the wind.
Perhaps I should move somewhere slightly warmer.
Anyway this must be grossly long, so I'll go.

The island I live on is diamond shaped. Running from the top point to the middle of the diamond is a river.
I live one side of the river, my school is on the other.

This causes problems.

I cross the river on the floating bridge, an antiquated chain ferry, which is cold in the winter and in the summer takes forever. This is because my school is in Cowes you wont have heard of it I guess but Cowes Week is a very famous yachting event, and pretty much all summer we have yachts sailing down the river and the floating bridge has to let them by so you end up waiting half an hour just to get across the river so I have to leave my house half an hour earlier than neccessary just to account for the bridge.

I don't know about those little rooms for the milk, our milkmen just leave milk on the doorstep, which is OK, no one ever pinches it or breaks the bottles (which are glass not cardboard cartons.) And the milkman lets you but a special stamp each week which you stick in your book and then when it's christmas we use the stamps to buy hampers of food. Hooray! You are really missing out I can tell you.

It is now 11o'clock at night and I am still revising, well not this minute obviousely, I am taking a break, but in a minute I will be revising again so I am DEPRESSED.
Our maths especially is bad because our teacher for the maths class (who we all REALLY hated because she was evil) had a stroke (so we all now feel guilty for hating her) and the school didn't hire a replacement for her.
So, we are beng taugh AS levels, which are important, by supply teachers which means our education is suffering.
We ahve had to stay at school till 6 every wed, which is entirely unreasonable I think, the school should have hired a replacement but they are cutting corners. So I'm just a little stressed.

Hey don't worry about the posting being removed, it didn't offemd anyone I'm sure, it was just the moderators being overenthusiastic. See, they're bitter about having to work at the weekend so they take it out on us, the little people. I'm not sure if it was the political bit. We're not allowed to talk about English politics becasue of the election but I don't see what the problem is with Canadian. Hmm
I was very cross because I had an article which I stuck in the writing workshop and people said was very good and then the moderators removed it saying it promoted blackmail, so I had to change it all and now it's rubbish.
For next time though, read this.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/HouseRules

Subway? Eugh. In England that'd be the underground which is a codeword for pure evil. However, I've heard your subways are OK. Is that true? Because I only went on the underground once (it being in London and me not) but I don't have any particularly pleasant memories.
I'll stick to my pretty red buses. Although sometimes they're green I must admit, because my town isn't very big and it's horrible so no one ever wants to go here, so we only get the little singledeckers.
The only people who come to my town come here for the red funnel ferry (that's where it docks) and they're generally tourists so they have thier own cars so they don't need the bus.

I apologise for my lack of sense, maths has frazzled my brain.

PS I have finally got round to slightly updating my user page

I've read your update, very classy!!!
Unfortunately I don't have the time to post today.
(boyfriend troubles)
But I'll be sure to write a long and boring response tomorrow
after my interview. (yay for jobs I don't want!!)
p.s. I've come to hate the evil that is my doorbell.
talk to you tomorrow sweetie!!

Hello again.
I seem to have gotten myself employeed.
Unfortunately I doubt it will last long enough to be considered as such. The man interviewing me, did not speak english very well, so when he asked if I knew how to process, I replied, "Yes, but I used a much older machine, and have never used the one you have here." To which he replied, "Yes yes, screen."
So come my first shift, when he realizes I don't actually know how to do anything, I'm sure I'll quickly find myself unemployeed yet again.

So are the exams you're taking now equivalent to that of Canadian high school exams? And then you choose what college or university you want to go to next year? Have you decided on a profession?
I haven't yet, even though I'm spending thousands of dollars a year pretending I do.

I'm exhausted, I decided my dog needed exercise because he's getting a little tubby, but I got more of a workout then him, I'm ready for a nap and he's ready to go again. I wonder if I tied him up to a remote control car, if I could walk him without leaving the front porch.
Genious, now all I need is a remote control car!!!

So you still have milkmen, that's so cool, but what if you need more then he leaves? What if you're doing a lot of baking say, can you still go to a store and buy it? You can buy it in grocery stores and convienient stores here. Either in small individual servings slightly larger indidivual servings, 2 litre cartons or three 3 litre bags. I'd say the majority buy the bags, because they have large families. I'm not sure how they get it in there, but they're see through and you put them in jugs and cut off the tip. It's quite genious.
I just realized I spelt litre very Canadian, "re" is the French ending for many popular "er" words. I don't know if it's the same there, I know it's not in America.

Do you have muscle cars there? Like Cameros and Firebirds? The only english car I know is the Austin Mini, because Mr.Bean drives one. I was just wondering, because I've just recently become quite fond of working on cars. They're sexy, and because mechanics here generally have little respect for women. My friend went to pick up her family van at a mechanic's and looked over the bill and asked why there was a lot of extra work. The mechanic's replied, "well you needed a new one of those." And she said, "My van doesn't even HAVE one of those!!!" She knows because her dad and older brother are car obsessed!!! They scratched off the charge, but if she didn't know, she would have gotten ripped off. Europe doesn't really portray a large vehicle demand, except of course Germany and their no speed limit highway.

Do you like "A Fish Called Wanda?" That's one of my favourite movies in the entire world. I absolutely love Micheal Palin and John Cleese!! Eric Idle was actually here on tour for one reason or another, but I couldn't get tickets to see him. I did however get tickets to see Ringo Starr at a casino near my town, and I was absolutely ECSTATIC!!! To see him in person? I would have died!!! My mom bought me the tickets for my birthday, and then the day he was to perform, he cancelled due to a sore throat, and I never got the chance to see him.

Anyhow, I must be off. I got my negatives developed and I'm off to turn my bathroom into a darkroom!!! (this is the film where my friend had to sit in the tub) Hehehehehehe.
P.s. I still hate my doorbell!!!

I've just been to London to see the Dali exhibition and it was rather good I must say. I am a big fan of Dali and although I was a bit dissapointed at the lack of paintings there were lots of his illustrations and sculpture so I was quite happy.
Then we had a wonder round and disaster struck. Well, it had struck a few weeks ago but I suddenly realised it had struck.
The pigeons!!!!
I may need to explain that.
In London we have Trafalger square. It is a, well, square really, with Nelsons column in the middle and a bit of a landmark for tourists. The one thing it is very famous for is it's pigeons. But no more. All the stalls selling pigeon food were apparently closed down and so now you can't feed them. I never did anyway it has to be admitted, but these are a national treasure. How could you have Trafalger square without the pigeons?

I have no idea what your Canadian exams are but this is how our system works.
Start school age 4-5
When you get to 14 you start studying for your GCSE's, which are exams in a wide variety of subjects, many compulsory but some voluntary, for which the actual exams are taken aged about 16. This gives students about 10 (it varies depending on which you choose)qualifications in various subjects if they pass.
After that you can leave school if you want. If you don't want, then you go into post16 education, which is mainly A levels although there are all types of courses springing up which gets very confusing.
A levels take two years. The first year you get half an A level, called an AS level, and the second year you do the other half. You take four subjects at AS and then drop one so you end up with 3 and a half A levels if you pass them all. After that you can go to uni.

I do AS's which means I'm in my first year of post16 education, which is OK. I do it at my high school, although you can do it at a 6th form college(but our local college has about a 2%pass rate). It's a bit dreary having to be at school still but 6th form (that'd be yrs 12 and 13, the A/AS level students) generally get treated a lot better, we get a common room, don't have to wear uniform etc.

I have NO IDEA what I want to be which is worrying because I should be applying for uni in september. I'm kind of stuck with science now because I do Math Biology Chemistry and Physics at AS and I now wish I'd broadened my horizons a bit more. My original choices were better I thought but I let myself get pressured into changing my mind by everyone who thought that I should be doing more worthwile subjects, which is my own fault I should have stuck to my guns but I didn't.

Nope, not seen a fish called Wanda. Heard of it but never got round to watching it.
Have you seen Wallace and Gromit's 'the wrong trousers' (I don't suppose you have Wallace and Gromit. They're plasticine animations and really good I must say.). In that there's a pair of programmable trousers and Wallace just tied Gromit(the dog) onto them and programmed them and they walked him by themselves. You could do that with your dog if you got an amazing pair of trousers like that.

The mechanics thing is a worldwide trait I'm sure. My stepdad does cash-in-hand car work (but don't tell anyone) and he always has horrorstories to tell.
English cars? Well we've got Jaguar, Austin Martin( see the James Bond films), MG (I think they're still British) and the pathetic ones of course that I'll not mention. And lots of Formula 1 teams (is Canada into F1? I know America isn't they're into indy which is really pathetic just turn left stuff, but I thought maybe Canada like fi because of Villeneuve?)
I think Rolls Royce are being sold to Germany but they'll always be British to us, although they're not about power they're about class. Same with Bentley, although we haven't flogged them to the Germans yet.
Minis are great. In the Mr Bean series he had a green one but I haven't seen the film which I guess is what you're refering to.
Anyway his was nasty but there are some fantastic ones. There's one I pass on the way to school which is British Racing Green with two white stripes down the bonnet and great headlights and it might sound awful but if you saw it you'd know it was great. Everyone I know thinks so and I want to steal it. (no don't moderate that Beeb I was JOKING)

Why don't you connect your doorbell to the mains?

Alright, I've come to the conclusion that the education systems are somewhat different.
In Canada (which I'm pretty sure is the same as America) an individual will go to public school (or catholic or private) from ages 4-13/14. And then you go to High School, for 4 years. In Ontario we go for 5 because we have OAC's which are pre-college courses, but that just changed recently, so in another 2 years there won't be OAC's anymore. You take your exams at the end of each year, and then when you're done you apply to college or university.
Except, if you want to go to a University in the States (America) you have to take your SAT's. Which is a huge test making sure you know EVERYTHING you studied in high school, apparently they're pretty intense.

I didn't even know there was a Mr.Bean movie, we get the television series here if you pay for the expensive cable, or you can go to the video store and rent the episodes individually, he was all the craze a few years ago.
We do however have Formula 1 racing here =) Canadians pride themselves on knowing about everything, though I find the majority of the population don't know a thing. Actually I've been pretty depressed about it recently. I'm currently trying to come up with a plan to sterlize ignorant people through the water system. You're a science kid, you could help me!!! "mwuahahahahaha"

Trafalga Square, I've heard of that, I'm pretty sure it was in Mary Poppins. I swear one day I'll visit, but I fear that's a lie because I don't have the money to travel, nor do I feel comfortable on a plane.

I have seen Wallace and Gromit before, my friend's a big fan and she made me watch all the video's she had. Apparently they took years to finish, I don't think claymation is something I'd have the patience for.

I regret not taking sciences. Though I don't need them, because I'm a photographer, I still feel inept at not KNOWING all that I can, and limiting myself like that, especially since high school is free, and now I'm paying for my education. I spent all morning in my darkroom, it makes me so much more relaxed, except today I had AWFUL dust problems on my prints, which means I need a de-duster or new filters!!! They're truly beat up.

And what do you mean by "main?" I'm not sure I know what that is.
"mmmmmmm" my mom's making spaghetti for dinner and it smells really good!!!

I like Dali, as I've studied many artist's for many years. But my true love is with impressionism, not surrealism. And I'm not very familiar with his sculptures, I liked his movie though. And of course for the life of me I can't recall what it was called. But it was the one with the ants and the dead horses tied to a piano, tied to two men trying to pull them across the room. It was all about the sub-conscious and dreams, which is what he devoted his entiry life to basically.
"The only difference between myself and a mad man, is that I am not mad!!" See, I know who he is!
Anyhow I have to go. I've been called upon.

The mains= electricity supply.
My artistic knowledge is very select I'm afraid, I do Dali and Escher and thats about it. There was a Picasso exhibition at the same place we saw but I don't know much about him I must admit, although I liked the ones he did in black ink of bullfights.

The Mr Bean movie was basically aimed at America I think, it didn't get much publicity here because I think they thought we wouldn't like it. I'm not a colossal fan. Rowan Atkinson is funny admittedly but he's better in Blackadder which is much cleverer humour (do you get Blackadder in Canada?)

I've heard of SATs, never really knew what they were, here the universities sometimes have thier own entrance exams, especially Oxford and Cambridge which are our really posh ones. In the UK sats are test you take at four year intervals which test how well you've been taugh. The teachers aren't supposed to prepare you for them, but if course the inevitable happens and we ended up spending entire terms just practising SATs techniques at the expense of a proper education. *sigh*. However, that's over and done with for me now.

'science kid'? Is that an insult?

Trafalgar square probably was in Mary Poppins, I can't remember. All that sticks in the mind is from that film is those terrible attempts at Cockney accents and lots of chimney sweeps.
Disney does tend to get pretty confused when it comes to Britain I must admit. When 101 dalmations (not the cartoon the real people one) came out they set it in England like the book but then proceeded to put into the film skunks and racoons, which aren't a particularly common sight here I must admit. I think they put them in so the American audience wouldn't get confused:P(but don't tell America I said so)

Just out of interest, how old is the drinking age in Canada? Is it 21 like the US?

It's the election here so we're getting bombarded with propaganda. The doorbell rings 'hello I'm your local conservative candidate-'
We're not allowed to discuss election politics here on h2g2 so I won't moan specifically about one party but the election is really annoying me.
All that you here is
'he's talking rubbish'
'no I'm not, you're talking rubbish, just look at your policies'
'No, look at yours they're really stupid'
'can I just chip in and say you caused riots'
'no we didn't! You say sorry right now or we'll complain'
etcetcetc.

*sigh* Oh well, at least we can fill our recycling paper tray with all those leaflets so people think we recycle loads of things.

The drinking age in Canada is 19!!! And it's not really a big deal. But our licensing system is a lot harder. You take a written test first, and then if you pass you get a G1, which means you're allowed to drive a car as long as a licensed person is sitting beside you in the passenger seat, and no one is allowed to have any alcohol in their system's what-so-ever. And then (after one year) you take a road test and if you pass that you get a G2, which means you can drive by yourself, but with NO alcohol in your system what-so-ever. AND THEN (after at least 8 months) you take your G test, which is a lot harder, and if you pass that you finally get your full license. So basically it takes forever.

I don't think Blackadder is very big in Canada, but you can rent it at the video store, so there must be some sort of demand for it. Same with Absolutely Fabulous, which I never really got into.

If you like Surrealists you'd probably really like Dada. It was a movement that coincided with them and a lot of the same ideas were expressed. Sub-conscious stuff. A lot of it was based on the idea that the war was lunacy, they were anti-violence.

And "science kid" is NOT an insult, I promise, I have the utmost respect for sciense, as I said before, I wish I had pursued it more then I did, and hopefully I'll have the chance to pursue it again. I get called an "art kid" all the time, and as much as "artists" like to be called that, I find it limiting, because I want to be known as more then that, but it's just a reference as to what you're good at. Are you still in for the diabolical plan? I'm sorry.

We have a show here called "22 Minutes" and it's a canadian comedy show. One of the skits done, is a reporter who goes to the states and tells American's absolutely ridiculous things, and they completely believe him. It's poking fun at American ignorance. Not that I'm calling ALL Americans ignorant, because there are a LOT of genious American's, but I think it means to bring about the attention that perhaps all education systems need to teach a broader range of social awareness and politics.
For instance, he'll go around and tell people, old people, university students, mischellaneous people on the streets, that our Prime Minister Tim Horton, has just made electricity official.
Our Prime Minister is currently Jean Cretien, Tim Horton's is a popular Donut store, and we've had electricity for centuries. They get pretty funny, last week he said that it had just been made a law that we can no longer send old people adrift on iceburgs so we no longer have to deal with them. And then he'll get the person he stopped to congratulate us, and they always do.

If you go to see the new Pearl Harbour movie, which I just heard on the t.v. has been released in London (not that I know where you are or if that means it'll come to a theatre near you) I'm just letting you know, they've changed the ending. At least that's what I've heard. They've made a historical movie and changed the ending so as not to offend the Germans or the Japanese. YAY for our furture ignorant generations!!!

What's your election for? Do you guys have "IN CHARGE" people like presidents and prime minister's? Forgive me for not knowing what you call your's, but it's so big I'm asuming it's for the man in charge. So does your royal family do nothing now? Do you see them outside? Do they go shopping? We only hear about them if there's a scandal of some sort. And that red headed one, Princess of Wales? Fergy, people call her? She's on Weight Watcher's commercials all the time.
Our Prime Minister, got pied in the face just recently, apparently someone found that to be funny, I didn't, I like him.

My mom's recovering our couches. Which means nothing matches anymore and there's fabric all over the livingroom floor. She started this over two years ago, and just decided this weekend that she was going to finish it, my mom's so cute. And makes such a mess!!! Not unlike the dog.

So are you guys still all impressed with the Spice Girls over there? We haven't heard from them in quite awhile, but Geri Halliwell has a video out right now. "It's Raining Men" and I'm not very impressed with it. She's very much in shape, but it's not her song, nor her video. *tisk*
I tend to like a lot of British music though, so who should I be looking out for? Oh and Neil from Art Attack, he's got a great accent.

I tried to cut the dog's hair today, again. And I butchered it quite well. But it'll grow back, and as long as I can convince my mom of that, I should be okay. Anyhow, my nan just showed up (my grandmother) so I must be off.

The princess of Wales is dead. She was Diana, and married to the heir to the throne, Charles, but they seperated and then she died in a car crash in Paris.
Fergie was married to one of his brothers but she's not anymore.
We have problems now with the minor royals and so the royal familiy is being trimmed down by the queen. See, one of her daughter-in-laws, Sophie (of Wessex) kept her job and then a reported disguised himself as a potential client and got her to say nasty things about the royals etc which naturally got published and so the royals made her quit her job which was rather mean. Anyway, now they reckon we only need the important ones like the queen and the immediate heirs, and the rest can go and work instead of just opening fetes all day.
The queen shops at Harrods (v.posh London shop) but doesn't actually go in there. Or she did shop there anyway. I think she might have withdrawn the warrent since Mr Al Fayad (the owner) started saying that there was a conspiracy to kill Diana (she was with his son Dodi Al Fayad who also got killed in the crash so he feels qualified to come up with all these theories)

It's in the news because we've got our first black queens guard(the blokes who stand outside Buckingham palace really really still or sometimes ride horses). I don't think anyone realised we hadn't had one before, but we have now. Which is jolly nice, and the queen's happy too because she's quite nice really when you consider what a dreadful family she's got. I am especially not fond of William, who is Charles' son and so second in line, because he is apparently a 'heartthrob' and he is not he is an idiot and he makes a REALLY big deal out of paying lots of money to go on a charity expedition in his gap year, inviting the cameras woth him etcetc which is completely missing the point. If you do charity work it isn't because you expect to get lots of good publicity, it's out of the kindness of your heart. Or should be anyway. He's going to a Scottish university next year and apparently they've had more applications from American girls than ever before, because they're apparently obssessed with him. Or the idea of being princesses.

Our election is for our Prime Minister, yes, the bloke in charge(although it's not always a bloke, Mrs Thatcher was a woman). Our minister for transport got an egg thrown at him on a rally so he punched the bloke who threw it in the face. Which was fair enough I guess but a bit of an overreaction.

We have a house of commons, full of people we elect, led by the Prime Minister, and then a house of Lords, full of hereditary peers although these are being trimmed down because they were mainly bigoted old men and since all the amendment to the laws had to go through the lords the ones which stood to remove prejudice were always stopped. They weren't terribly keen on female equality or gay rights or anything but now they son't have as much power and there are more people in there like charity leaders so it's better. The commons is the important one though it makes all the tax decisions and policies.

Getting a license seems pretty hard over there. Here you get a provisional lisence which means you're allowed to drive on the roads while you're having lessons, then when you feel ready youtake your theory test and then your driving test, you can get a lisence age 17, but 16 if you're driving a moped (50cc motorbike)

We know all about Pearl Harbour believe me. We get annoyed with the Americans at their war films because we know they played a big part and all, and we're very grateful blahblahblah but we were in it aswell, I think they forget that sometimes. And we joined to help Poland, we weren't even under threat, whereas they put off joining until it threatened their interests.
In their film about the Enigma machine they rewrote it so the American army captured it which was completely not true it was us.
I know the war's over, but it's wierd, we're friends with the Germans again, but still resent the Americans whenever they mention it. And that's not just me it's everyone I know. I'm sure the Americans aren't that bad, but Hollywood does tend to distort the facts and it gets irritating.

No we are not impressed with the Spice girls, no one over the age of 12 was to start with. They are still around, but they're just famous for being famous now. Victoria Beckam (posh) married a footballer and they're very famous for being rich and living a celebrity lifestyle but she hasn't done very much recently. I think one of the more compassionate charities is paying her to keep her mouth shut.

I wish I'd stuck at art, I really do. Maybe one day I can take evening classes or something. I like writing aswell, which was why I joined the guide, because I don't take any literature subjects but I wanted to keep in practise. Have you written any articles yet?

To be fair the British music industry is not looking particularly spectacular at the moment (a bit like our ailing film industry). I would recommend you avoid our manufactured band but you probably know that from experiance anyway. I'm still a big fan of Blur it has to be said, although they aren't around as much anymore, they were more a few years ago, but they did release a really good greatest hits album recently. There's Travis, you probably won't know of them but if you get a chance listen out for them. Some of their songs are a bit hit and miss but most of them are really good.


Just realised I don't think I answered your milkman questions. Can't see an answer anywhere anyway.
I think putting milk in bags is very clever I must admit, although are they not rather awkward to carry around? Well if you want more or less milk than usual you generally leave a note outfor the milkman, or yes you can go down the cornershop if you want, but we prefer to let the milkman deliver it because
a= you know it's going to be fresh and properly pasterised
b= it's local so you support the local farmers
c= It's good for the environment because instead of buying cartons to throw away you use glass bottles and when you're finished with them you put the empties in the doorstep and the nest day he collects them to reuse.
Then every saturday he comes round at a reasonable hour (on weekdays they deliver the milk REALLY early, about 5 in the morning, except for a friend of mine, his milkman doesn't deliver until 11 by which his family are all at school/work so it sits on the doorstep getting warm until they come in) rings the doorbell and you pay him for the milk you used that weekMilkmen are great.
What a stupidly long post this is. I never could do concise.