h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The Doc and Dai take hold of the Mad Lab self destruct button and place it on the slab before them*

Well Dai, it has been a brilliant run - 3520 posts, some a bit samey but others a shining example of biting wit, stupidity and satire and not to mention all the in jokes, crap film references and inspiration from Round The Horne.

*Looks round the Lab to see the cast take a final bow*

Thankyou dear Nurse Just Arrived and Evil Twisted Assistant. Bless you Sir Nanobot, faithful cleaner and bonjour to the Health and Safety inspecktor. Dear old Petra Stringfellow - and your legion of synchronised Lap Dancers. Bye Ug, faithfull neanderthal man servant from the frozen North beyond Watford.
Bimbo? Where would we have been without you? SSHHRREEEIIIIKKKKK!
Ahhh, I see you still have it all babe! Bye bye Sandy and Julian, my dear Interior designer Cybermen and thankyou Colin the Dalek for dontating your power plunger. Bye IB, still frozen in suspension and who knows, may live beyond as the sole survivor of the good ship Mad Lab.
Farwell Hnicky my little temptress and a big hug goes out to Evil Terrorist, my dangerous Cyber wife. Sooty, my alien man eater! You came back to see or eat one of us just one last time - bless you for that!
Finally - Sweetpea, the one and only original daughter of darkness with eight arms, a cleavage of chaos and a terrible temper. Gonna miss you, baby!

Lets do it Dai - press the destruct button together....................

PRESS

*As cosmic mayhem explodes into the air, and a rising tsunami of Heinz Tomato Soup engulfs our beloved cast, the Mad Lab sinks beneath the tomatoey waves................................... and in the middle of is the Docs hand, thumb raised and slowly sliding into the depths of Heinz...................................................












And then it was gone

*still supping tea, waiting for recognition not shown in last post....*

*The Doc bursts to the surface of the Heinz Ocean of Tomato Soup momentarily, just long enough gasp out an acknowledgement of Dai's momentous, spot on and well timed contribution to the lurking watchers before they are both dragged back down below to a Tomatoey grave..............

Once more, all is still on the Ocean of Heinz until a comet hits it, vapourising the entire thread.............................









*The Last Post sounds............*

is my name appearing as dai? i don't think so doc...

everyone else was mentioned...i gave some contribution to the conversation did i not?

*pulls plug in floor, watches some of the tomato soup drain, before putting the plug back in when the kettle appears*

*tears kettle out of wall, throws it in the back of minivan, and exits left, to the sound of gurgling soup.*

Under a boulder, just before dawn a small pool of lab enriched tomato soup condenses in the cold air....

Is this wise, Dai? (Said the Tomato soaked Zombie corpse of the Doctor of old)

Not at all wise dear boy , but when has wisdom been one of our strong points, Im sitting here with the mother of all head aches and trying to get back to work after me hols, for some reason before I knew it Id done it.

"Wonders how he is communicating at all as in this world he has no form, substance or long johns, bit like 3 weeks ago at that hen party he gate crashed....."

GLOOP!

*the tomato soup wonders if it can condense enough to reform a new tomato coloured lab*

*The Soup Soaked Zombie Doc looks out over the Heinz Tomato soup lake and then looks around for his teeth and other assorted bits an pieces*

*the docs teeth float past him*

*Followed by the Doc*

*nicky looks around her and see that the soup is condensing around the edges*

does this mean the lab is reforming?

*Cue Dramatic Music - Mars from The Planets suite*

The Heinz Tomato soup lake vibrates gently round the edges and starts to recede.................

*as the dramatic music plays, the lake receds and the remnents of the lab can be seen*

looks like we might have to clean up a bit doc.

*sticks in another paper staw and carries on sucking up the soup*

Quick! Before they build a Tesco's on it!

*Cue Benny Hill runabout music*

ill go make sure the cupboard is tidy.

going to join me in doing that doc?

I see old habits die hard - so to speak!
Jsut watch out for bits falling off - I have been submerged for six months!

bits falling off?

we are only going to clean the cupboard arent we?