h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Recently I bid farewell to a trusted friend, my vibrator. A certain ennui had set in regarding its usage. After two weeks of making do on my own, I decided it ws time to make a new purchase. To the uninitiated the variety of such products is daunting. Your finer adult emporium will contain a wide array of makes and models. Once the average consumer was limited to a few choices: small or large, lifelike or streamlined. Now one can choose from plastic or gel-filled, glow-in-the-dark or glitter painted, microwaveable or waterproof.
Many items carry endorsements. Some feature testimonials and pictures of happy wholesome couples diligently using their new toy. Others' efficacy is vouched for by cheery buxom lasses employed in the adult entertainment industry. One entire line is even apparently endorsed by the counrty of Sweden, leading one to wonder about the state of governmental affairs there.
All in all, it puts one in mind of perusing the cereal aisle at the supermarket. Do I want whole grain goodness? Toasted almonds? How about colored marshmallows?
Once you have chosen the device that has just the right combination of features, your local retailer will insist upon a "quality check". Batteries (if needed) will be inserted and the vibrator will be turned on. After all, there is a strict no return policy. Perfectly understandable, don't you think?
As for my selection, well, loose lips do sink ships...

My next door neighbour surprised me the other evening by producing her favourite vibrator from her handbag, in a 'ta da!' kind of way.

Once I had removed most of the beer I was drinking at the time from my windpipe, she gave me a guided tour of the more interesting features. The the vibrating rabbits ears were the subject at least 15 minutes of conversation. Fascinating.

Curiosity killed this cat. Why, oh why, is your neighbor carrying around such an object in her handbag? And what exactly are "rabbits ears"? Maybe I'm more of an innocent than I thought...

Well, I suppose a handbag is as good as anywhere. I don't know, I'll ask her why she requires a 'portable', so to speak. It never occurred to me to ask...

Rabbits ears, hmmm, well a picture is better than a thousand words - would you really like a description? I will try not to be too graphic. There is a small rabbit's head (with long ears) attached to the base of the main part of the vibrator (the penis shaped bit - oops, too graphic? sorry)and offset by about four centimetres.
The idea is that when the vibrator is inserted and switched on, the rabbits ears rest on the clitoris and vibrate very fast - thus providing extra stimulation.

My neighbour rates this piece of equipment as a 12 out of 10, also describing the sensation as, "a multi" (continuos multiple orgasm).

Makes me wish I was a woman.

Goodness gracious, that does sound enjoyable. Mine just has a wicked curve on the end that is supposed to provide extra stimulation to the g-spot. (Hence my name--Herr Doktor Grafenburg was the German gynecologist who "discovered" the g-spot, although it probably was found by many non-professionals long before his time.)
And its a lovely shade of purple. Whee-ha!!!

Maybe I am a little innocent aswell, but have you ever actually found a G spot? I am beginning to think that it's a bit like the Loch Ness Monster - only been seen by a few people of dubious character and sobriety.

Purple - Good colour. And realistic too.

Maybe I am a little innocent aswell, but have you ever actually found a G spot? I am beginning to think that it's a bit like the Loch Ness Monster - only been seen by a few people of dubious character and sobriety.

Purple - Good colour. And realistic too.

Good question. I've conducted some experiments since purchasing the device (welllll....more than some) and I can safely say all the data has not come in yet.
Horrible pun, really.

LOL

It may take *years* of research. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

Catch you later...

That puts me in mind of another trite saying: "A hard man is good to find."
Or hard whatever...

The most stupid vibrator I ever saw was a blue one-with a light in the tip.As you turned the speed up,the light got more intense.As if you'd ever see the light when it was turned on! As for the rabbit with ears-isn't that the same as the one on sex in the City-that Charlotte got addicted to?!

I've never seen that particular program. What would be the point of a light on the tip? Is that supposed to be exciting? I can't say I ever been aroused by light sources.
Now that I know what to look for, next time I go on a shopping trip I'm gonna look for anything with the rabbit's ears.

just make sure the rabbit isn't included! Have a look at the Anne Summer's lingerie web-site. I think they've got pictures of them - just so you know what ypu're looking for !

This post has been removed.

Why is it harder to find on one's own? I've "surfed" the waves, but I can't seem to relive that flying solo. I was starting to wonder if either I was lacking that paticular feature or I was fairly incompetent at my experiments. Any tips for the currently partnerless, Dave?

And, any other recommendations for different playthings? You know, sort of a "two thumbs up, four stars kind of review".

This post has been removed.

Goodness. Either they've got the heaters on full-blast in the office again or I enjoyed your rundown. This is very helpful "coming" from someone who's actually used the products, rather than looking at the packaging in the store, which can be deceptive, not to mention goofy. Now I know what to look for...all in all, it makes me wish I hadn't just started my period so I can rush out a do a little Christmas shopping for myself on the side tonight!

Sorry! Didn't mean to fluster you!

I'd say that we've had a 50% hit rate on toys that worked. We haven't bought any for a while (no need - we have them all!) but we now know what to look for when we do.

Any you don't feel you can masturbate when your periods on? Is this a personal taboo, an emotional state, or what? I'm not judging, I'm interested. I know some women are more horny during their period, some just before, and some are totally turned off at that time.

I'm generally not interested. Not that I don't think about sex during this time of the month, I just don't feel like acting on impulse. However, as it tapers off, that's when I'm at my horniest. It's from the lack of contact or release for X amount of days.

I know that orgasms are beneficial during one's period. The contractions of the uterus end this portion of the cycle--the discharge--sooner and the natural release of endorphins help ameliorate painful cramping. It's not as if I've never done anything at this time, but mostly the desire is not there. I think it's because I don't feel as sexy or as sexually desirable during my period.

So did we do a Christmas shop?

I understand about the period thing. My wife is alternately more horny and less during her periods. I think it's a combination of nature fighting nurture.