h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok...I have a confession to make...I have this, thing. This odd thing I do. *sigh* this is kind of hard for me...*sucks it up.* Ok, here goes. I...I...I pat peoples heads. It's not something I'm proud of, but I'm getting used to it. I know what you're thinking..."She Pats peoples HEADS??? STAY AWAY!!" But it's really not as bad as it seems. I merely pat people...on the head. Sometimes if I'm feeling particurally jolly I'll throw in a hug or two...Well, I decided that I needed a positive release for this "head pattage" SO I was wondering if I could possibly be your Royal Head Patter (and random Hugger) Cuz quite frankly, If I don't find something constructive to do with this habit, I could end up patting someone's head that, well, didn't want patted...and that could be bad...

So, what do you all think? Need an Offical Head Patter? I'm up for it! I'm yer man! (er...woman.) Thanks

Darth Zaphod

Is this thing really compulsive?

::contemplates sharpening the tines on her tiara::

Not really...I always ask permission first...it's just a fetish I have. If you don't want a pat, I won't give you a pat...but a hug, now everyone loves hugs

So What do you think?

Darth "Hopeful Royal Head Patter (and random hugger) Zaphod

have talked to any professionals about this

Professional huggers, or professional head-patters?

You're making it sound like a disease, sheesh! It's just a THING! and I'm not being serious...just playing

But I'd like to be part of your kingdom anyway, and that was an easy job I thought up...Royal Head Patter and Random Hugger. I've got alot of spare time...

Darth Zaphod

A THING! I get it ...

We weren't exactly being serious either, kiddo.

::tosses some celery at the ::

Hey, can I be a professional head-patee then?

I quite like the odd pat on the head now and then.

You like to be patted on your odd head? Where do you keep that, anyway?

I'm sure we don't want to know
You already *have* a position Inkwash

Royal Head Patter? Sounds like a fantastic position! Or maybe Official head-patter to the court of Balwyniti... decisions, decisions...

Just warn you now, I'm not overly keen on being head patted

Ok, ok...sounds good whatever you guys want If ya don't want patted, I won't patcha...hey, I should petition for a smiley...that would make my job alot easier I wouldn't have to keep putting *pat's so-and-so on the head*...There is a hug one, so YAY!
*Officially pats everyone on the head for the 1st time...yes, even you, Cat...even tho ya didn't want one!* hehehe...I'm so evil.

Darth Zaphod

I do hope you will resist the urge to pat any of the Royal staff on the head, especially myself. Most unbecoming for a butler of my standing.

It doesn't do much for my 'do, either!

::gets out the hairspray::

Just as crusty as ever I see, Thruthelthrolth
Why don't you have your lackey do that, my Princess?

You've been officially added Darth Zaphod!

Shouldn't my lackey have been elevated to prince once I married him?

::starts spraying::

*pauses*

Yes, probably Oh well, he is now... sorry, couldn't be bothered with all the pomp and ceremony and stuff

So can I rummage around in the attic for an old crown?

Why not just lend him one of your many?

I prefer the simple tiara. And he hasn't got the hair to pull one off, honestly.