h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* M.K finally manages to open the stuck door and enters carrying some bed clothes... *

* Places a photoframe on the bedside table... *

* Wraps them around him & collapses onto the bed... *

* Happy to find some peace at last... *

Zzzz, Zzzz, Zzzz...

Lord M.K*

*peers in quietly*
*jumps when she sees MK sleeping in this guesthouse- she hadn't known it existed*
*closes the door silently, so not to wake him...*

* M.K runs up out of breath opens & slams the door behind him as Mina lurks outside... *

* Somebody is already inside however... *

G.B !!!

Lord M.K*

the song "Tie Me Kangaroo Down" is playing on the radio, fueling GB's imagination, not that it needs any fueling

Lord M.K*?
I went to your other room, I thought you said you were having trouble with your knob, er, shower knob that is, er, I think....but the shower is working perfectly in there, so it must be here that you're having problems, is it? Sir? Sir! What ~are~ you doing Sir!!! Ooh!
*giggles*

* M.K backs away from the collision in the doorway clutching a sink plunger... *

Oh ! Sorry !!!

How Clumsy !

I thought it might come in handy... one way or another...

* G.B is left with a wet ring on her blouse... *

Lord M.K*

No ! I'm not telling where...

M.K*

* M.K finally wakes up and senses that it might be a better idea to stay put than try to read all the posts that have accumulated... *

Lord M.K*

* M.K wanders past this Guesthouse hoping the couple will be far away enough in future for them to not fray his nerves so... *

* He looks out over the lake and spots a young lady swimming naked... *

* He tries to busy his mind with financial matters and walks off... *

Lord M.K*

Kes, we cannot take all day. We occupy the room and then - either you go look for the vigário, or I do, or we both go. I have decided.

What are those muching sounds you are making, Kes?

I said, I have de - ci - ded.

That is really quite simple you know.

Too hard to understand, Kes?

*Kes is looking round the Guesthouse. How inviting and cosy it is! Small, comfortable, intimate. The bedroom contains a double bed ... double - not queen, king, or Bridal Suite four-poster ...

*And Kes is thinking that he would have wished to have been in this cottage at the start ... it would have been easier to get close to Peaceful.

*And he is thinking that ... now, his wish has come true ... and he is remembering that Chinese proverb.

*In about a minute, he will start breathing again.

* PE looks at Kes, he seems calmer, slightly less intimidated than before. Her anger suddenly evaporates. There wasn't that much of a hurry... perhaps a few hours. They didn't really need to get married that very minute...

* But they did need to do it urgently and as soon as possible. They had already lost too much time and too much money. Why had they been drinking so much? Why all these hangovers? All the time evil Kes, the twin was somewhere in the Manor... and he would have to return that precious CD he still had. Or they would have to steal it.

* She gazed at the good Kes, the good twin, now her husband. Now really her husband. No way she could go back to the convent now. She would have to send her convent some nice flowers and perhaps some of that nice chocolate. She would never return, now that she was finally married to the right husband.

* She smiled pleasantly at Kes, who seemed to be ready to start breathing again...

*In his mind, Kes raced into the bathroom, opened the window and tried to leap out ... only to discover the window was too small.

*In reality, he continues to look round the cottage, and try to breath.

Clarification: young lady in lake is not swimming naked, she had put a bikini under the sun dress when dressing that morning - perhaps MK really needs FC to return to stymie over-active imagination...

* He is in such a state that he hardly notices PE make an important phone call and hang up with a determined look on her lovely face.

*knock knock
Good Morning!
Any services I can perform for you today?

(Well, I'll get nowhere if I panic. Think about it, Kes It's a different room, but the situation is the same. You wanted her ... you got her. So what are you worried about? [left brain immediately posts long list of items] Well, apart from those ... Why not settle down, enjoy the ride, and work on persuading her to slow down on the marriage thing. You also need to work out what made her change her mind between last night and just now ... Oh! ...)

*At this point, the thoughts are interrupted by a telephone ringing. Kes picks it up*

Hello? Yes, this is Guesthouse 6... Mrs Who? Oh, yes ... right. Who shall I say is calling? ........ sorry - I must have mis-heard you ... did you say ....... Oh, yes, Reverend, and it's about what ? (faintly) Right. I'll just get her ...

Peaceful .... it's the vicar ... about ... a wedding .... he has some available times ...

*Hands the phone over, and sits down&